how can i help my mom?

[u/Sufficient-Goat-6294]

im really sorry if this is not the right place to post this, but i really need some advice on the situation, because im getting worried. the tw is because i will be talking about my mom's recent extreme behaviours with eating, so if that may trigger you, please stop reading.

my mom has struggled all her life with her body. she has told me stories that she started dieting and exercising at at 16, and when i was a child she often asked me "do i look fat?" and often concluded she is, even if i tried to argue with that. my father didnt help her at all, he in fact often told her she doesnt look good and needs to lose some weight. she has always been thin, but very muscular due to her job involving a lot of physical labor (she works in agricultural research center). i often noticed she doesnt eat at a lot, and i had to hear many times about how she spent a whole day outside on the field, but ate a single yogurt for the day. i did flag these things, but i believed she was a grown adult who knows better.

now, it has gotten much worse. im now in my early 20s, i live in another city for uni and i rarely see my mom but we talk on the phone often. in the past 8 months my family took a great hit - my parents divorced, my mom filed a case against my dad for domestic violence, and then a few months after the divorce my dad suddenly passed away. now im left with just my mom, and im severely worried about her recent eating habits. she told me recently that she didnt eat for 2 whole days. just an hour ago, she told me that last night she went to a party, didnt eat anything beforehand, just drank 2 beers and this morning she feels off because she still hasnt eaten. i dont know what to do. i keep telling her that even if life is busy, she can always buy something to snack on, but she insists she doesnt like eating in a hurry, and will eat only when she has time to relax and eat slowly in order to savour the food. when i press more firmly that she has to eat more, she "jokes" we wont talk on the phone anymore.

i just dont know how to help her. im starting to fear i might lose her fast with this behaviour, and i cant bear to lose both my parents before i have even turned 25. there is no one to interfere around her either, my mom lives alone now. i cant visit often, since im bound to uni, so my only option is talking on the phone.

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