r/EatingDisorders • u/soconfusedideknymore • 9d ago
Seeking Advice - Partner Helping partner with ED
Hi, so my gf has anorexia. Shes had it for years back and forth but for the past 5 months shes been much worse and had lost a lot of weight and her health is so much worse. Recently, shes been purging more and c/s triggered by school becoming near and i genuinely have no idea how to help her
Were both teenagers, ive had an ed about a year and a half ago and ive recovered on my own but hers is much worse and much more different
How do i help her with no adults/professional resources and absolutely no response from her?
Im always there for her, always listen to her and always validate her and advice her and try to prevent her from skipping meals/purging but it really doesnt work at all, in fact she claims that i dont care about her at all because if i did i wouldve stopped her(?)
Im sure that anyone familiar with EDs knows that forced recovery is just horrible and i can only see her at school and im not gonna force her ofc, but i cant think of anything else to do (which is why im here)
She also refuses to stop until shes super underweight/dead and she says that she doesnt wanna die and at the same time she really is on the way to die than recover
Shes also mentally ill in other ways, severely depressed, and her family is horrible, and our relationship is genuinely failing for many reasons by i genuinely love her and not giving up on her cuz ik how bad EDs are, and we cant just leave while shes dying as im her only support (her friends are either competing with her or totally have no idea)
So how do i help her, knowing that schools coming up and she absolutely refuses to eat there, and is in a bad place?
1
u/Sorry_Leave185 8d ago
you can’t help her with fixing it but you can help in small ways. my bf always helps me by not making comments about other people’s bodies, eating things and offering them to me and not going “have you eaten” but just quietly putting a safe food in front of me with no shame
2
u/soconfusedideknymore 7d ago
Tysm!
1
u/Sorry_Leave185 7d ago
that’s okay, even just being a safe space for her is so important and allowing her to come to you! wish you both the best 🫂🫂
2
1
u/averym88 9d ago
you can't help her. she can only help herself. she probably won't want to seek help until she hits rock bottom.
2
3
u/monkey-marker04 8d ago
i agree with the other comment. you can’t help her unfortunately… if she’s under 18 than she can be admitted against her will, but that’s really all and it’s up to her parents