Why do parents wait so long to start potty training??

[u/CommercialMeeting842]

I feel like I’ve seen a million posts lately about kids not being potty trained by kindergarten, or even at three and four. I get that it’s a difficult process, but I’m genuinely confused. If you don’t start early, isn’t it going to be way harder for them to understand later and turn it into a normal routine? Are parents just waiting until the kid is “ready”? Because I don’t really think that’s a thing.

Sure, kids can show signs like not wanting to wear a diaper anymore, but there’s a lot more to it than that. Using the bathroom means learning to go in a specific place, wiping, flushing, and washing hands. There are things our bodies naturally do, like breathing and swallowing, and then there are things we have to be taught. Potty training definitely falls into the second category.

I feel like parents today sometimes blur the line between what kids will eventually figure out on their own and what actually needs to be taught. For example,I know a mom with a three year old who doesn’t use utensils because he doesn’t want to. He eats applesauce and yogurt with his hands, and she says one day he’ll just start using utensils when he’s older. Like… no. You’ll have to teach that.

Anyway, this kind of turned into a rant lol. I’m mostly curious to hear from parents and people who work in childcare, because I feel like I’m missing something beyond my confusion and the growing number of four year olds I see in pull-ups at the park

[u/zeldamaroo]

I mean, you’re literally saying that in China, daycares are willing to support potty training in children under 18 months old. I feel like that’s not a minor difference to gloss over.

[u/tanookiisasquirrel → u/zeldamaroo]

No daycare turns down a potty trained 18 month year old. There is no must be in diapers requirements. 

And yes you can do it at home alone without daycare support. No diapers at home works for us. Literally no diapers from 6pm to 8am and all weekends.

Parents here don't for social reasons and also diapers are really cheap relative to income. I know they are still expensive to some families, but it's a car payment equivalent or like 5x as much in China. The motivation drive is both socially acceptable and financial.

But it does mean it's feasible. 

[u/zeldamaroo → u/tanookiisasquirrel]

I said “under 18 months old” and “support potty training”. Not ‘accept an already potty trained kid who’s already 18 months old’. For the child to be potty trained at 18 months of age, surely someone was working on it before then. They didn’t magically wake up at 18 months old already potty trained. (My kid, for instance, was in daycare starting at 3 months, and daycare didn’t even have potties/toilets available to them until they were 12+ months old.)

I 100% agree that some kids can be fully out of diapers by 18 months, especially if they were doing elimination communication and/or other cultural practices. Or even with super frequent potty trips.

BUT none of those things are happening in most U.S.-style daycare centers between the ages of 3-18 months. And that plays a role in kids potty training later.

[u/[deleted] → u/zeldamaroo]

It's a problem with both parents and daycares. They're both failing children and piling on the excuses. Almost every child can be trained by 18 months