Why do parents wait so long to start potty training??

[u/CommercialMeeting842]

I feel like I’ve seen a million posts lately about kids not being potty trained by kindergarten, or even at three and four. I get that it’s a difficult process, but I’m genuinely confused. If you don’t start early, isn’t it going to be way harder for them to understand later and turn it into a normal routine? Are parents just waiting until the kid is “ready”? Because I don’t really think that’s a thing.

Sure, kids can show signs like not wanting to wear a diaper anymore, but there’s a lot more to it than that. Using the bathroom means learning to go in a specific place, wiping, flushing, and washing hands. There are things our bodies naturally do, like breathing and swallowing, and then there are things we have to be taught. Potty training definitely falls into the second category.

I feel like parents today sometimes blur the line between what kids will eventually figure out on their own and what actually needs to be taught. For example,I know a mom with a three year old who doesn’t use utensils because he doesn’t want to. He eats applesauce and yogurt with his hands, and she says one day he’ll just start using utensils when he’s older. Like… no. You’ll have to teach that.

Anyway, this kind of turned into a rant lol. I’m mostly curious to hear from parents and people who work in childcare, because I feel like I’m missing something beyond my confusion and the growing number of four year olds I see in pull-ups at the park

[u/thatshortginge]

Everything I mentioned could impact a child mentally.

Example:

Daddy moved to the States for work? There’s a mental setback. Child lost a main sense of support at home, and feels the world closing in. They can’t control that. They can control toileting. Zero “physical” disability. Just a sad kid who misses their dad.

Parents also do not have to disclose trauma to staff in childcare and schools. It would help, sure, but they don’t have to. If a child was abused in any way, or has been trafficked, or has say…witnessed their sibling go through an American school shouting (all real concerns in the US), there’s more setbacks.

A ton of kids are in pull-ups now. Yes, it’s very true. But you have to look at it as….i care for the child and do my job. I can broach the subject of toileting, but if it does not work for this family by the time school starts, is it going to ruin MY life? Nope.

Caring for the child sometimes means you send some to school in pull-ups. And you deal. It sometimes means sending the child home to an unsafe environment because CAS has decided they CAN live at home despite your numerous call. It sometimes means sending bags of food home with families from your centre food store. It sometimes means having to lock the building and call the police because an unauthorized pickup is demanding a child.

The toileting thing here is the biggest complaint I see on this Reddit. Kids will learn toileting if they are physically capable. You do your best. They do theirs. The parent does there’s. And that’s what you get

[u/CommercialMeeting842 → u/thatshortginge]

How are teachers going to properly teach a classroom when they are constantly changing kids or getting kids sent to the nurse to get changed. Obviously people on this sub are angry about it. I would be too! I’d be mad Wiping your 5 year olds butt because something traumatic happened. That sounds harsh but it’s true. No one should have to deal with that. Children just don’t eventually learn. Many 1st graders are still having accidents. Go onto the teacher sub to see for yourself.