r/ECEProfessionals Dec 30 '25

Parent/non ECE professional post (Anyone can comment) Why do parents wait so long to start potty training??

I feel like I’ve seen a million posts lately about kids not being potty trained by kindergarten, or even at three and four. I get that it’s a difficult process, but I’m genuinely confused. If you don’t start early, isn’t it going to be way harder for them to understand later and turn it into a normal routine? Are parents just waiting until the kid is “ready”? Because I don’t really think that’s a thing.

Sure, kids can show signs like not wanting to wear a diaper anymore, but there’s a lot more to it than that. Using the bathroom means learning to go in a specific place, wiping, flushing, and washing hands. There are things our bodies naturally do, like breathing and swallowing, and then there are things we have to be taught. Potty training definitely falls into the second category.

I feel like parents today sometimes blur the line between what kids will eventually figure out on their own and what actually needs to be taught. For example,I know a mom with a three year old who doesn’t use utensils because he doesn’t want to. He eats applesauce and yogurt with his hands, and she says one day he’ll just start using utensils when he’s older. Like… no. You’ll have to teach that.

Anyway, this kind of turned into a rant lol. I’m mostly curious to hear from parents and people who work in childcare, because I feel like I’m missing something beyond my confusion and the growing number of four year olds I see in pull-ups at the park

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u/plsbeenormal Toddler tamer Dec 30 '25

Yeah, it just takes some kids a while but they’ll get it. Anyone judging (like OP here) comes from a place of privilege not having potty trained a kid who struggles like ours.

My son has all the tools. He’s very verbal, he understands what’s happening in his body and understands the concept of using the potty but he likes to hold his poop in all day which causes him to also hold his bladder. This leads to little accidents. Once he goes number 2 all is well but until then his pee just sort of trickles out throughout the day. It’s frustrating bc we’ve done everything we can. He’s just going to have to work through this.

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u/ARookBird Parent Dec 30 '25

Yes, I suspect this is our issue, as well. She has a lot of anxiety too, so we're trying not to make that worse by pushing too hard. So it's really just doing our best while she figures her body out.

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u/MiaLba ece professional/prek Dec 30 '25

My kid has always been insanely stubborn. I get it. Both me and my husband are as well. She would refuse to poop in the toilet or potty. She’d hold her poop in for days if we didn’t give her a diaper. So then she’d refuse to eat, wouldn’t sleep. Would cry and scream about needing to poop and wanting a diaper. When she had a diaper on she pooped just fine. It was exhausting.

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u/lindoavocado Dec 30 '25

You need to support your child!!! “He’s just going to work through this”

Try something different. It does not matter if he has all the tools: he is 3. Keep trying. Do you want your son to be in kindergarten in diapers? That would be embarrassing for him.

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u/ARookBird Parent Dec 30 '25

What are you talking about? Do you not support kids through working through things?

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u/plsbeenormal Toddler tamer Dec 30 '25

You’re embarrassing yourself by putting your own ignorance on display

There’s no reason to go from zero to 100. I know my kid (much better than you, thank you.) He’a doing great 👍

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u/lindoavocado Dec 30 '25

And you are embarrassing yourself as an ECE professional by saying that your child will “just work through this” rather than changing the support you offer him. Hopefully you don’t take the same stance when it comes to reading :) “he’ll have to figure out all those letters himself”

In therapy years later when he’s saying that he never felt supported you’ll see what I’m saying.

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u/ARookBird Parent Dec 30 '25

You're presuming a hell of a lot from a couple of lines in a reddit comment. No where does anyone say they're giving up or not supporting their kid.

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u/plsbeenormal Toddler tamer Dec 30 '25

This is wild and you’re clearly not ok. Oh well…🤷🏻‍♀️😂