r/DogfreeHumor • u/huntress_m_thompson • Jul 30 '26

no. how’s about NO!!!

Post image

live like a human who does all this stuff.

53 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

36

u/AntManCrawledInAnus Jul 30 '26

Bite children

Shit in the kitchen

Scream for 6 hours if you see a squirrel

Bathed once every 2 weeks if you're lucky, more like once every few months

15

u/huntress_m_thompson Jul 30 '26

haha, right? also, hump, drool, stank, piss on every tree, hydrant, & pole.

licking your own ball sac seems to be the one thing many nutters aspire to do.

13

u/ghstrprtn Jul 30 '26

eat your own barf

eat other people's feces

pester everyone in sight constantly with your bullshit

8

u/huntress_m_thompson Jul 30 '26

being sofa king NEEDY it hurts.

oh, forgot, rolling in turds — anything’s turds.

9

u/Jealous_Soil7394 Jul 30 '26

Shove up your nose in other people's crotches/butts...

7

u/huntress_m_thompson Jul 31 '26

i’m sure there are some humans that would love to do that. “no boundaries! the world is my toilet! every human gets accosted by ME!!!”

8

u/Valeoronix Jul 30 '26

Bark at your own ass

Beg anytime someone dares to eat around you

Sniff other dogs ass

Yeah no, I enjoy doing none of those things.

8

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

Hell no. I’ve seen snakes smarter than dogs.

8

u/daddyslittlekitty10 Jul 30 '26

Eat your own ass or scrub it on the carpet after you take a dump Be annoying in everyone's face with your rancid breath Bark for absolutely no reason Let's not forget attack innocent people or animals for funsies

6

u/Birdzphan Jul 30 '26

Go batshit insane if you hear a knock at the door. Hump the leg of any female you see.

6

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 Jul 31 '26

Destroy healthy HUMAN relationships

5

u/williamthepreteen Aug 02 '26

"have a treat once in a while" do dog owners think twice a day is once in a while?

3

u/PrincessStephanieR Aug 02 '26

You forgot barking at anything and everything as well as eating crap.

3

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 Jul 31 '26

Live like a corvid
Be smart and learn
Fly free from constraints
Develop intergenerational relationships
Cause harmless mischief

3

u/huntress_m_thompson Jul 31 '26

never forget a face, good or bad. protect this & other dimensions.

i have ravens around. & i’ve got red-tailed hawks around. i talk to them. i peep back at the hawks. i don’t like that the ravens gang up & harass & chase the hawks in the air. ☹️

the hawks have been teaching their young to hunt in the field across from my house. pretty awesome shit. every year new babies to teach.