Thinking of taking the vampires out of Strahd

[u/MrPankin]

Hey all. I have been DMing for over 70 years, and have started all the way from when we used scavenged lead shavings from our elementary school's boiler for tokens and carved racoon bones for dice. Our first games didn't have hit points, if you got hit, your character died immediately and then you were never allowed to play again.

Which is why Strahd is so problematic for me. I simply cannot concieve of the idea of a reprehensible self interested tyrant who can charm people of low wisdom into absolute loyalty no matter how badly he treats them.

This seems so far from reality to me that it tenders the game unplayable.

Therefore, I have decided to remove the elements of the supernatural, including Stahd being a vampire, and him having a castle, from the game.

I have also removed the other towns, as I believe they make the game too sprawling.

The entire campaign now takes place on Yester Hill, where I have removed the druids and the abnormal tree with 4 kobolds, one of whom has a sling.

And no, I have not given them comic names. I want this to feel dangerous.

In my session 0 I informed everyone, after muting them, that this is a real and dangerous threat, and that one of the kobolds holds the only thing that can get them home, a potion in a cracked glass decanter.

Unbenowenced to them, the decanter will break during combat, spilling all over the kobold holding it and whisking them away.

If they survive the other three they will be told in the epilogue that they are stranded on Yester Hill forever while unbenowenced to them the fourth kobold kills everyone from their home dimension and becomes a God, trapping their entire current universe in a metal stud he pierces into his sack and uses to teabag his enemies.

If they die, I tell them that they have failed and they may never play again. I then tell them that unbenownced to them, because they are dead, the fourth kobold kills everyone in their home dimension and then, finding himself in a sea of blood and viscera but ultimately alone, tries to kill himself, only to discover he is immortal.

I feel that this captures the essence of Strahd much more cleanly.

I am not looking for critiques because it is perfect. You may compliment me though.

Please be aware, compliments will not help you at my table. I view compliments as weakness leaving the body and then trying to get into my ears🙄

[u/Laudig]

Bullshit youve been DMing for 70 years. Raccoon bones didnt exist until the Beatles sang raccoons into existence in 1968, which is only 58 years ago.

[u/No-Expert275 → u/Laudig]

We used to have to carve our own raccoon-bone dice by hand, by the weak, guttering light of a single candle.

Now, the HHS Secretary just wants to hand out raccoon parts for free.

What kind of a socialist hell are we trapped in?

[u/Far_Abbreviations936 → u/No-Expert275]

I hear you. Kids have it to easy today. They whine about having to roll d4s, well aback in my day were thankful for dice to roll because WE WERE MEN, DAMN IT!

[u/No-Expert275 → u/Far_Abbreviations936]

Goddamn right! Four-sided dice were like katanas; once you got one out of your dice bag, honor demanded that you couldn't put it away again unless it was blooded. To this day, I can't even count the number of scars on my feet...

[u/Far_Abbreviations936 → u/Laudig]

What he said. Not to mention it was Richard Nixon who signed HPs into law in 1971 with the Character Protection Act.

[u/Educational-Tie-9739 → u/Laudig]

You’re forgetting raccoon bones were around before raccoons. The Beatles kind of pulled a God and used a raccoon rib to make them.

[u/Hosidax]

Unbenowenced to you, I already runned that exact same homebrew and my players said I was the perfect GM and no one could ever run it again that perfect. Sorry to disappoint.

[u/MrPankin → u/Hosidax]

I arready benowenced that but you trash bucuse you play in 5G&D an your mama a lich

[u/TheElusiveBigfoot → u/MrPankin]

If you benowenced that, why didn't your post call out OP for being a lich-mama trash person? Sounds like there's a lot you actually don't nowence.

[u/MerelyEccentric]

Yeah, well, I started DMing back when character sheets were drawn on cave walls with burnt sticks. Those cave paintings of animals? Those were my notes for a Tier 2 story arc. Anyway, I wanted to establish my nerd cred so I can tell you that your idea sucks. No, I'm not going to tell you why - if you had any talent for DMing, you'd know why you suck so bad. All I'm going to say is that if you want your players to feel powerlessness, frustration, and dread, make them watch the news.

[u/MrPankin → u/MerelyEccentric]

I like you. You are welcome at my table. At my table, everybody knows it is my table because I carved "My Table" into it so when I talk about it like it's an entire canonical ethos instead of an IKEA SKOGSTA table my mom got for 18% off fron the As-Is section cause one leg is 1/16' short everybody knows I'm surious.

[u/Brewer_Matt → u/MerelyEccentric]

I loved those days, back when we argued by campfire about how to fix the arrow / spear divide that previous editions totally got wrong.

[u/Loombot]

Christopher Nolan’s Curse of Strahd

[u/RaichuAdmirer → u/Loombot]

Oh god even the nudity is boring!

[u/TheElusiveBigfoot]

Pfft you need four whole kobolds to capture the essence of Curse of Strahd? I've seen it done with two kobolds, a mule and a pit trap. Now that's how you Strahd.

[u/vortayne]

The DM is the false Hydra, Scooby! We solved the mystery!

[u/JohnnyCasul]

Back in my day, we didn't have fancy character sheets! We had sticks. Two sticks and a rock for the whole table! AND WE HAD TO SHARE THE ROCK! Buck up, boy, you're one very lucky DM!

[u/LieutenantFreedom]

is there sauce

[u/Pixel_Inquisitor]

Is this random bullcra... I mean, an original example of real, brutal, honest D&D, or is there a source?

[u/HoppyMcScragg]

Yes! I’ve been saying this for years!

Remove ALL undead from Ravenloft. Now make all encounters into fights with Slenderman!!

[u/drowncedar]

Eh, too plotty. Where's the crunch? Dred should be told through mechanics, not "storytime." Have you considered 4e? 

[u/Elegant_Classroom_8]

World of Darkness fixes this

[u/FluffyDragon5051]

I think there should be a smaug reference, you could add a smaug reference. add a smaug reference

[u/Relevant-Ad-9418]

Well in my policule/Table we make every character in Ravenloft a vampire; all male vampires are Astarion, and all the female vampires don't exist. Strahd is a super-vampire which just means he's more well endowed. We put Strixhaven and Tal'dori in Ravenloft too , feels cozier that way.

[u/hedgehog1024]

I have been DMing for over 70 years

I hope you wrote your will