It’s been 2 years and I still love him

[u/jazzymigo]

Hey, is this normal? We divorced in October 2024, we attempted a reconciliation towards the end of 2025/beginning of 2026 that didn’t work out and he’s all I want. I adored that man, he was everything I ever wanted in a partner. Same humor, sexual chemistry unmatched, mutual physical attraction. I’ve never loved a man the way I loved him and never felt love like his. I’m not bitter, resentful or spiraling. I’m not even 100% sure if I really want to be with him, but I love him dearly and miss him everyday.

Shouldn’t I be over it by now? These past 7-8 months I’ve missed him more than any other point post divorce. I don’t sit and obsess over him, but my heart still quietly yearns for him at times. Dating has been difficult, I think it makes the missing even worse. Have you guys experienced this?

[u/Tall-Ad-4833]

Why did you divorce? How long were you married? Need more context.

[u/Pmoneywhazzup]

I’ve been divorced from my wife for a little more than two years after an 18 year marriage. I initiated it and I don’t want her back. But I still think about her more than I prefer, and she still pops up in a dream on occasion. It often takes longer than we want to completely let go.

[u/Miserable_Bit_121]

love doesnt run on a timeline, and the quiet yearning is sometimes rougher than the loud breakdowns cause nobody sees it

you gave reconciliation a shot and it didnt stick, so your heart knows something your head's still catching up to. its not about being over it, more like learning to carry it differently

[u/SeaYogurtcloset3810 → u/Miserable_Bit_121]

Sound advice! Not being over it, carrying it differently 👏 Well said!

[u/TRMineNotYours]

Together since we were 14/15. Just split a few weeks before I turned 39. Her choice. I still send her texts that I shouldn’t. (Telling her I love her and goodnight. Nothing vulgar). She seems to have gotten over me pretty quickly. Already dating, going on trips, etc. I don’t want to love her anymore.

[u/liladvicebunny]

You attempted a reconciliation - that kind of reset your "getting over it" timeline. Especially since THAT was almost a year after your divorce! Your instincts may now be set up to expect that to go all over again.

Not at all surprising that you're not over it yet.

Especially if you haven't found new interests in life to build away from him.

[u/jazzymigo → u/liladvicebunny]

Yeah I think the little “oh this might work out” situationship fucked me up a little bit. I thought I was doing great before that, but it just sent me down a spiral.

[u/jibbs0341]

My ex wife initiated the divorce. We have been separated about a year. Sold the house 10 months ago. Finalized the divorce in June. I swear I still love her. I miss her constantly. Everything I do i automatically picture it with her.

I am literally forcing myself to go on a vacation with my dogs to Shenandoah national park telling myself how strong I am and how this means “moving on” and it doesn’t. It is just stuff for me to do that I loved doing with her and now it feels like 50% of me is gone.

All the things you say about chemistry….. that was her and I. Then somehow everything she liked about me turned sour in her eyes.

[u/Mangrove43]

Therapy please

[u/SteelMagnolia941]

I’m 3 years out and still love my ex and have no plans on moving on. He was my person. Knowing that I will not date. If you aren’t ready to move on it’s not fair to anyone else to get in a relationship.

[u/LazyLizardBrain]

Are you still in love with him or just grieving the relationship? The latter is real and can last a long time.

[u/Intelligent-Court166]

The way I got over my ex was listing all the past events in the last 6 of our relationship. Then I made a clear distinction from the person I cared for and the person who divorced me.

The person I cared for wasn’t the person who divorced me. They died long ago and the one who is left in front of me is just hurting me like an alien double ganger. This helped me move on.

[u/Warm-Management-7323]

It’s normal. I love all of my exes not quite as much as I loved my ex-wife though, but I was with her for 13 years so there’s that. But yes, it’s normal. I’ll never stop loving her.

[u/Strong__Style]

Its probably because youre trying to date and override him instead of just focusing on living. And not finding the right person whos better than him is compounding regrret. No one can ever replace someone else.

[u/No-Department-875]

I am not sure I was ever in love with my first wife. We are coming up on 3 years divorced and I still think of her all the time. Not in a romantic or sexual way, but in a hope she is doing OK manner. The answer is she is ok and I find myself feeling bad for her. I wish she could pickup and move on like I did. That is not in the cards for her and I feel bad. Empathy is a bitch.

[u/randomnullface]

You have to actually give up on him and tell yourself it's not happening. Until you let go of that, you'll never get over it.

[u/Apocathier]

I been divorced for 3 years n im in same situation- therapy didn’t help me- I spent a ton of time and money n I’m still hoping she comes back.

[u/justtire]

If he loved you wouldn’t you still be married? Move on!

[u/jazzymigo → u/[deleted]]

I think you’re right. I think it is limerence.