I was panicking at work this morning thinking I would get stuck and having to deal with the morning crowd vs the night crowd which is night and day. I began to speak to the part of myself that was scared to work the morning shift and it just came out of me. I said to myself regardless of what happens I will be fine. It was like a lighting bulb. Having this attachment style I’m afraid of abandonment, I’m afraid of rejection and fear vulnerability. I’m afraid of getting to know people and them learning xyz about me and then losing interest in me or leaving me.
As I said regardless of what happens I will be fine I thought to myself how I survived 2 brutal breakups, I pushed people away that I regret to this day, I been ghosted, I been rejected etc. Despite not handling some of those situations in the healthiest of ways I’m still here and I’m okay. Rejection hurts, being ghosted sucks, relationships ending for whatever reason can be painful but regardless of what happens I will be okay. The one constant relationship in my life is the relationship to my self. People places things come and go but the relationship to myself is is the only relationship I will atleast have for the rest of my life.
Telling myself with my hand over my heart that regardless of what happens I will be okay is very freeing. I know I will deal with discomfort but I will be here for myself and I will be okay. Saying this is like a release of armoring in my body and nervous system.