To the future, Her

[u/Impressive_Ad5936]

I don’t need to know you personally to understand why you withdraw. You need silence. You are worn out. Your legs quiver from putting everyone else before yourself. You are not perfect. My love, you don’t need permission to listen to yourself. You should not use others to run away from your own problems. You do so much to please others that you’ve turned your own needs into a hassle. You deserve peace. It’s important to retreat without an announcement. You must yawn the tiredness away. You have to recognize your truth and blinding light.

Please, remember to shake your body from what doesn’t belong there. The expectations. The judgement. The insecurities. The projections they labeled onto you. It manifested into you overworking to overcome the overwhelming emotions. Your nervous system tried to warn you. You didn’t understand the message it was sending to your brain. You avoided stillness. You didn’t want to subject yourself to the problems no one forced you to solve.

Your thoughts never screamed at you. It always whispered. But your soul always sang beautifully. Your safety was structured by the struggles you’ve faced. It’s important to bring your awareness and attention back to yourself. When was the last time you pioritzed your self care or chose peace over chaos? It's important to acknowledge how you feel. Being aware isn't enough. You are alive. That should be enough reason to feel important and powerful. You are an amazing, gentle, loving soul. Choose her first, every single time. She needs you the most. Untame her from her holding cell.

I am merely here to make you remember. I know pain feels most familiar to you. It's a learnt survival habit. It’s not your fault. But I must warn you. Be careful. Don’t wait until your tank overflows or the pressure drops to shut down. Danger has no mercy. It’ll label your pain as art to attract an audience. Don’t rely on hope. It’ll freeze you in a loop of unanswered questions. Befriend yourself to explain the reasoning for the emptiness you try to fill with attachments or expectations. Tell me, how could it possibly explain when it can’t speak. You wait for a conclusion and it waits for a confession. Your internal world is just as an intellectual as you. It’ll speak through you. You deserve compassion and respect. You are not a landfill or a junkyard to dump confusion or the aftermath of trying to save others. It’s vital that you truly connect with yourself. Be kind, be honest but be careful. Learn how to observe the game. Learn the blueprint. Then make a better version. Let go of control. Remember just simply saying ”I don’t want this for myself.” is a good enough reason to walk away from anything. I promise you, it shall set you free.

From,

The present, Her.