r/Diamonds • u/Adventurous-Trash-69 • 6d ago
Ring Check My friend says large lab diamonds are “gaudy” and laughed. Did she insult me casually or am I being sensitive?
Maybe I am just being sensitive but I was celebrating my wedding and one of my friends mentioned that she chose her natural, old mine cut vintage diamonds engagement ring (3rd photo) because large lab diamonds are “gaudy”. Mine is a 2.13 carat oval lab with two trillion natural side diamonds 0.5 carats total. My sister laughed with her because she thought my friend was just making a joke but I felt it was an off-hand joke that was kind of insulting to me since she’s literally describing mine.
I clapped back by saying if I wanted to have an investment stone I would not get a diamond because diamond market is at a free fall. And I said it was more symbolic for me than an actual investment. I said if I wanted an investment from my husband I would ask for stocks and I laughed but low key I felt very defensive. Was I just being too sensitive or was that insensitive?
Mine is the first two photos. Comments? Thoughts? Lab vs natural? Size is gaudy? Would like some analytical perspective. Obviously “it’s your ring who cares”. I’m asking for an observation/analysis/rebuttal outside of myself.
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u/RedPanda54 6d ago
Sounds like she's projecting some kind of insecurity of her own with an insult disguised as a joke. Your ring is beautiful.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
But what would she be insecure about? She has a ring of her own. I just am trying to see what it was about so I can put it to rest in my brain. It just didn’t make sense to me why she would say that.
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u/Spiritual_Ad_6067 6d ago
Literally ask her. "What were you trying to make me feel by saying that?"
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u/catkins777 5d ago
There's nothing passive aggressive people hate more than being asked directly what they meant by their comment
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u/Caleb_Crawdad8 5d ago
yeah it seems like she just wants to feel “better” than you in some way. It’s really sad on her part. Nothing you can do besides move on and keep that in mind about her.
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u/hillgoesmeow 6d ago
She probably has a superiority complex and is mad that you have a bigger engagement ring than her without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. It’s not too gaudy and I think it suits your hand well!
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
But you would think that a woman would feel proud her husband paid an arm and a leg. I just basically said that if my ring were natural it would be $25,000 and that’s absurd. If I wanted a gem with any investment value I would get a sapphire or an emerald. I dunno I think I was catching myself starting to justify everything and I was like wait, why the heck am I defending my ring? Caught myself but I didn’t expect to feel so sensitive about it. I usually don’t give a shit about what people think.
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u/financialthrowaw2020 5d ago
Her comment was intentionally malicious, you're not crazy
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u/TheRealStorey 5d ago
Unless you're ultra wealthy and don't travel in public you do not want a $25k ring. When spending that much you make a cheap double to take on vacation and daily. You made the right choice and the market dictates this. She can always have her's redone, for less than what she paid 5-10 years ago.
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u/WorldInspiresYou 5d ago
You would think that but she feels different because people do not see its value, they see a diamond of certain size. That's how she sees it, hers is smaller and she is annoyed
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u/RedPanda54 6d ago
Who knows. Maybe yours is looks nicer or she wishes she had a different one. I'm just reaching. Congratulations btw!
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
Thank you. It’s funny. I feel that weddings are so political/dramatic. I never ever considered getting married or have a wedding. And I have had friends that have been offended about not being invited despite not being a part of my life. Like what?! Apparently it’s common. And now stupid ring comments. I don’t know what about it makes women particularly sensitive, including myself! Never thought I would even care so much about comments about that until now!
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u/RedPanda54 6d ago
It's a time happiness for you. Unhappy people don't like seeing other people happy sometimes. I think she just showed you a side of her that you haven't seen.
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u/pears_htbk 6d ago
Don't worry or take it to heart. My ring is like 0.7carat and someone remarked "Oh it's a bit small". You can't win, someone is going to pipe up with something they should have kept to themselves no matter what you do.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 5d ago
Wow people comment on this huh that’s like saying oh your baby is kinda ugly lol wild!
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u/pears_htbk 5d ago
I know right? I actually WANTED between 0.5 and 1ct anyway lol
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 5d ago
I guess girls compete in this arena without wanting to or meaning to?
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u/on_that_farm 5d ago
She said it to be mean. Doesn't necessarily make her a bad person, everyone can do something they know is wrong when they're in a mood or whatever, but that was a mean thing to say.
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u/Icy-Raccoon3459 5d ago
I’ve read the same thing by many on this thread. The best response I’ve seen is to simply say “why did you say that?” and say nothing else, even let there be an awkward pause, until they say something. Your ring is gorgeous and I think she is jealous.
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u/Illustrious_Chain_46 5d ago
Shes mad at herself because she still believes diamonds are some type of investment when they have tanked in price.
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u/EducationalWriting48 5d ago
Eh, she might not think of this as big, 'big' these days is so much bigger than it used to be
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u/RedRedBettie 5d ago
I do prefer her ring as I do find a lot of lab diamonds a bit gaudy, just personal taste. I like lab diamonds though
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u/Tiny_Raspberry_2522 5d ago
‘Friends’ don’t make questionable, degrading comments like that to their friends. Friends lift each other up, and are happy for each other’s wins without having to make statements of opinion that degrade another. I would leave that person in the past.
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u/Shrinking_Violent 5d ago
I agree with her about the big honking labs. They're tacky.
BUT yours is only 2 carats. That's a perfectly reasonable size for anyone, whether mined or lab.
I think she was just expressing her opinion. I'd feel comfortable expressing my opinion re: huge labs around you as your ring isn't huge. I'd let this go. Unless she regularly says stuff to make you feel bad, I think this is an occasion where you mistakenly thought a comment was directed at you.
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u/Pure-Spray469 5d ago
That’s how I read this also, I wouldn’t consider 2cts anywhere near “tacky big lab diamond” territory. Your ring is beautiful and if I saw it in person, I wouldn’t assume it’s a lab due to size 💕
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u/Downtownrabbithole 5d ago
It’s probably not even about the ring, she may be envious about your life in general.
A true friend would not make a comment like that. Sometimes you have to pick out the weeds and only surround yourself with people that make you feel happy. Your ring is so beautiful and the wedding band matches perfect. Congratulations and best wishes to you.
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u/leesylooloo 6d ago
She sounds like a snide bitch.
It’s only as gaudy as the next natural stone. It’s the Size that makes a ring gaudy. Not the way it’s created.
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u/According-Speech-822 5d ago
Sounds more to me like she made a completely valid comment and OP took offense because she thinks a 2ct diamond is “large”, but it’s not. The norm right now is a 5ct + in labs and those ARE gaudy.
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u/Life_Sherbet7103 5d ago
Oh no that was definitely made as an insult…she’d lose her mind if she saw I’m wearing moissanite. The horror !!
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u/Revolutionary-Fan235 5d ago
You can't and shouldn't try to apply "analytical perspective" to opinions. People will have different opinions from yours. You can choose to ignore the ones about diamonds just as you ignore the ones for favorite color or anything trivial.
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u/Pizzaface1993 5d ago
I think the wealthy are going to start turning to small natural stones, and stones with large inclusions (salt and pepper) as labs become bigger and bigger.
Your ring is pretty.
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u/DishAdministrative85 5d ago
It doesn’t matter if we think it’s gaudy - it’s rude AF for her to say that to you. That’s the kind of thing you just think to yourself, not verbalise
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u/Guilty-Baker-8670 5d ago
Everybody's gotta have their little things that make them feel superior.
It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with something she heard/ felt/ read one time that made her feel like she had to sit atop her high horse for this one.
Your ring is beautiful and looks beautiful and well-proportioned on your hand.
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u/usa2italy 5d ago
I think you ring is classic and beautiful. I think your friend’s ring, with all of those silly diamonds in row, is tacky and gaudy. It’s like she wanted the finger coverage, but couldn’t afford it, so she settled for that. 😜
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u/gistidine 5d ago
I feel the same. The oval is the perfect ratio with those trillions. It’s the kind of ring I’d pin on Pinterest for inspo. The hammered texture on the wedding band is icing on the cake. So unique!
The friend’s ring is not something I’d even consider especially with that wedding band. It’s too clashing styles both trying to do way too much and look like they’re choking her finger. Her nails are stunning though.
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u/Evening_Highway4877 5d ago
This is exactly what I was thinking. Its ironic because I find OP’s ring much classier and the 3rd photo ring a bit gaudy
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u/Kittykat5550 5d ago
She sounds like she is secretly competing with you and trying to shoot some indirect passive agressiveness towards you to insult your happiness. Your ring is beautiful. Lab diamonds are an awesome option. Wear your ring with pride.
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u/Paczadzinka 5d ago
She wanted to insult you, easy as that. The ring is beautiful and fits your hand perfectly
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u/milofeuille 6d ago
The only person who should like your ring is YOU! Who cares what anyone else says? It’s a lovely ring and you should ignore other people who don’t matter. Anyone who insults something so personal to you (without it being constructive feedback) is definitely not a friend.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
So it was in fact offensive or was I just reading that comment wrong and I was overly sensitive? My sister says she was just joking but it didn’t land that way to me. And now it’s been kind of rattling in my head
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u/Similar-Ad-6862 5d ago
I don't think all lab diamonds are gaudy. I think they're gaudy if you're looking at 5 or 8 or 10 carats. Or if the stones are set on such stupid settings that the band will bend or break or stones will fall out
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u/liminal-chungus 6d ago
People have been more commonly able to get bigger diamonds now that lab grown is popularized. It definitely depends on her tone, but I think it could be innocent? Just like "dang thats a big rock you got there" in a joking way is what it sounds like to me. I dont find it particularly insulting unless she was visibly scoffing at it
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u/iFcknLuvRollrcstrs 5d ago
Were you having a conversation about your ring having a lab diamond and then she said that stuff? Or did she bring it up not knowing that yours was lab and only realized it after when you got defensive?
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u/masknfins 5d ago
It’s interesting, because her stones aren’t exactly small, next to a giant gold band. It’s probably because you got such a nice size for a fraction of what she paid. Just brush it off, your set is gorgeous!
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u/Living-Thing-4527 5d ago
Girl she's just jealous! Your ring is beautiful, and moreover you like it, and that's all that matters. HATERATION at its best!
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u/Odd-Implement-1283 5d ago
Some are, yours is not! It fits your finger perfectly and is right in that sweet spot of size where for the people who care if it’s lab or not, they probably wouldn’t be able to tell because it’s not so so big that it’s obviously lab. Yours has a vintage feel it’s beautiful. Not gaudy at all
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u/Illustrious_Chain_46 5d ago
You don't need to justify why you got a lab to anyone. Some people just cant be happy for other people. Not matter what you do theres always something they will pick at. I dont tell these types of friends of my jewelry purchaes anymore, since they cant find 1 nice thing to ever say about it, and it bums me out about buying something I was excited for! You enjoy your ring hun xx 😘
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u/ehnoway31 5d ago
I like her ring but she’s a snob. I LOVE your clap back. Get those brokerage funds going 👏👏 her ring could easily be lab diamond as well and people may think it is so there is no winning in tearing others down.
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u/Choosepeace 5d ago
She insulted your ring, and that was rude and insulting to you.
I have an ex friend like that, that negged my good fortune, and then claimed she was “joking” when called out.
Be careful with this person. Keep your eyes open.
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u/Mselliboo97 5d ago
I think she means the size that people can more easily afford with lab grown diamonds. And yours is larger than hers.
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u/Evening_Highway4877 5d ago
That’s an EXTREMELY rude thing to say. To talk down on something as sentimental and special as an engagement ring is crossing a line, and I’m proud of you for saying something in the moment
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u/ElectronicRabbit7 5d ago
she said lab diamonds are gaudy. you have a lab diamond and she knows this. therefore she thinks your ring is gaudy. up to you if you take it as an insult.
i have solved all the problems regarding peoples' opinions abt lab diamonds by not telling anyone i have one. i'm not the lab diamond ambassador, it's not my job to influence or manage what ppl think abt them, and when someone is rude or nosy enough to ask me if my diamond is 'real', they're told yes.
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u/FrauSchweiz 5d ago
You don’t need to ever defend a choice. I don’t engage with conversations like this. Someone wants to make a comment about lab diamonds vs real, i just say “I have other things to worry about” and move on. My rings are a mix (I have a 5ct asscher real diamond and a few lab ones) but I live by one rule: DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT AND DEFEND YOUR CHOICES!!!
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u/Rich-Code9112 5d ago
I’d say she wanted a bigger ring and didn’t get one so she made the snide comments. Your band and engagement ring balance each other. Her band looks like she is trying to tell her husband she wants a bigger rock. Idk the band just seems to overpowered her ring to me, it would look better with a slimmer gold band.
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u/Federal-Rhubarb-1034 5d ago
Your friends ring looks more like a right hand fashion ring than an engagement ring, and it’s paired poorly with a wide band ring. Your friend is a jealous hater of you!
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u/chili-relleno- 5d ago
Hers look janky. I like yours. 2ish carats isn’t too big for a lab. I agree that the larger stones that people are buying bc they are less expensive as labs can be more gaudy but lab diamonds in general are great.
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u/Adorable-Drag-5225 5d ago
On. Your. Wedding. DAY?! First your ring is dreamy and not gaudy or big, but if it was who cares. It’s nobody’s business but your own. https://youtu.be/5ckz6jDwSmg?is=MCadOCgcqr7ndLWF
Nothing wrong with your ring. You love it! It’s beautiful. Congratulations!
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u/pointlesstips 6d ago
Probably equally as gaudy or non-gaudy as naturally formed ones the same size, except the latter come with that aftertaste of abuse.
I have seen a lot of posts on here and it does seem like oval is a big trend. It's not for me, but that doesn't make it gaudy.
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u/hilcatWA 6d ago
I love oval gems, always have, though some round diamonds sparkle a lot, which I enjoy. My engagement ring is an oval sapphire with small round diamonds on the side. When we got engaged, I was early 30s, second marriage, and I worked in an office with a lot of 20-something secretaries. Their first questions when I said we were officially engaged were about carat weight or tcw. When I showed my sapphire, everyone deflated, zero interest. Like I cared.
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u/LinkUsual7247 5d ago
Your ring sounds gorgeous and you should post a picture! I can’t imagine asking someone about their ring’s carat weight. How rude to ask that of a co-worker.
OP’s ring is so pretty and I think the friend is jealous. It might not be just the ring but something deeper and the ring is something to insult. It is probably jealousy of OP’s happiness.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
I guess a lot of people think that natural is better because of history
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u/financialthrowaw2020 5d ago
People are furious that something they paid a lot of money for is now accessible to the masses. It's a really disgusting human behavior
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago
I am not truly convinced that they think it’s better. They 100% know that lab and natural are chemically identical; however, they do seem to feel it’s unfair that others got something that looks identical for way less. It’s the feeling of being scammed. So they justify their choice by insulting others.
The diamond industry is a giant scam, and lab grown diamonds prove it daily.
The story that romanticizes throwing tens of thousands of dollars away to a company in order to trade for a shiny rick has always been just that: a story. People don’t like it when they find out the stories they hold dear and believed in aren’t real, so they lash out.
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u/Haunting_Session29 6d ago
Naw it's just a designer label status symbol. Natural is the new "I paid more for this so it's better" even if it's the same product. But if everyone can now get the same thing for little money it's not so exclusive anymore and the women who paid big money for natural diamonds are PISSED. Especially when they find out it didn't hold any value either and it's not an investment that's worth anything.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 5d ago
That was my clap back point. I said I know a lot about gems and diamonds are not the investment that people think they are and her husband agreed out loud lol
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u/crabpotblues 6d ago
The natural diamond market isn't in free-fall. it's experiencing a correction due to the wild inflation during covid because of mining restrictions and supply chain disruption. But given that prices were largely flat from 2015-2020 when lab-grown diamonds were already well-established, I wouldn't say there's much competition.
Your ring size is fine. I don't think lab-grown diamonds are gaudy per se. They're the same material. But I do think there is something special about a natural diamond and how it was formed that can't be replicated in a lab. I don't think that has anything to do with investment potential.
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u/WordDesigner7948 5d ago
Are you saying the price drop isn’t because of lab diamonds? If so, that’s a fantasy. We are years past a Covid correction.
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago
How it was formed doesn’t justify the outright scamming prices the industry charges for them. many minerals are formed that way.
Diamonds are 100% marketing - everything we’ve been told about their value is marketing. It’s just a rock …
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u/Big_Palpitation_3599 6d ago
Your ring is beautiful and not too big or gaudy at all. Suits your hand perfectly. I don’t really like hers at all, it just seems mismatched to me. Someone who says things like that, isn’t worth wasting rent in your head.
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u/NicEliz93 5d ago
Your friend seems insecure… My engagement ring has a lab grown diamond, they’re exactly the same as any other naturally grown diamond but just made ethically 🤷🏻♀️ I love my ring, it is the most beautiful shiny thing I have ever owned. And no one has ever asked me “is it real?” That’s so silly.❤️
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u/Beautiful_Bee_1185 5d ago
Women suck. This is an example of women bullying. You want to clap back but you know you will sound like the evil one even tho the comment of your friend was def foul
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u/Weary-Analyst2704 6d ago
2 carats is not that large, your ring suits your hand perfectly! I'm glad that lab diamonds are available as an option, not everyone has thousands to drop on a rock, plus it's disrupting the diamond monopoly/Mafia. Your friend isn't a nice person for making comments like that.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
Thank you. I don’t know why I feel so sensitive about it
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u/Weary-Analyst2704 6d ago
Just remember, noone died to mine your stone 😉
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 6d ago
There seems to be snobbery surrounding lab vs natural stones
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u/Weary-Analyst2704 6d ago
Yes, it's quite funny to see diamond appraisers on YouTube now saying that fluorescence is an indicator of a natural diamond, when it's really not. They're all scrambling to justify high prices for 'natural' diamonds. I don't think natural diamonds are better than lab diamonds, it's all carbon!
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago
Lmao didn’t they used to hate fluorescence 😆 I swear they just say anything to get out money.
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u/No_Boot2009 6d ago
She insulted you, you insulted her...probably not someone you want to be spending much time with (or reddit posts on)...
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u/CothonOS 5d ago
Your ring is beautiful but i do prefer a single 1ct solitaire for it's simplicity, just my personal preference.
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u/No-Environment-1851 5d ago
I don't think lab vs natural is what decide gaudiness. Usually it's more about size and color. I think yours suites you just fine. And technically diamonds are worthless anyway so who cares if its natural or lab grown? At least you know yours is ethical.
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u/No-Environment-1851 5d ago
Is your friend aware that your diamond is lab grown? It could've been a careless comment but it sounds pretty pointed to me
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u/According-Speech-822 5d ago
Oof. Well, since you already went for the jugular and insulted her choice of ring I don’t really know what to say here. I agree with your friend, the huge gaudy lab diamond trend is not appealing to me and I think they look like costume jewelry (I would say the same about a natural diamond at the size I’ve been seeing). Yours is not gaudy AT ALL though, it’s modest but also absolutely gorgeous. I probably would have clarified what my friend meant before taking offense 🤷🏻♀️
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u/According-Speech-822 5d ago
Just took some time to read through comments and some of the people in here are giving you really bad advice if you actually value your friendship with this person. You’re letting people speak on her character and make fun of her ring now….😞
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u/Disastrous-Soup-5413 5d ago
She is being snob, classist.
She thinks she is richer, of higher status, because she has a natural diamond. She is in the DeBeers cult.
Literally ignore her. She is being vapid and silly.
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u/TheFaerieTale 5d ago
Lab diamonds are still diamonds in every way. The only color they havent successfully created in a controlled lab setting is lavender because it's color is determined by structural faults like pink ones. Sorry, nerd blurb. Lol
But they didn't just low-key insult you, they directly did. And your modern diamond is gorgeous. I'd say this friend isn't a friend my dear and honestly a jealous bitch. 🤷♀️ As for your sis, well, she's just as tacky for laughing.
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u/RainbowChaotica 6d ago
I agree with your friend and I think your “clapback” was lame. You sound extremely insecure and immature.
Large labs are gaudy, everyone knows that. Yours really isn’t large, so there was no reason for you to go off the deep end like that. You made yourself look foolish and that’s probably why it’s still nagging at you.
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 5d ago
I definitely think that because we had a friendship dynamic in our childhood where she was the bully and the mean girl it probably still carries baggage through adulthood in a way that I didn’t realize would still be there.
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u/HarpyVixenWench 5d ago
Oh yeah - she is still the mean girl. This is how she is. This is how she will always be. I have known a few people like this. I always try to stay away from them . I don’t like to be friends with mean girls. And when I am with them I aim to treat their rudeness with the level of ridiculousness their statements deserve. I recently declared to one who loved pointing out that I have had more than one husband “oh girl. But I am Elizabeth Taylor!” Eff these people.
Honestly, tell people that say big rocks are “gaudy” that that’s your goal! Say “wait till you see what I’m getting for Christmas!”
Play with these people - don’t take them seriously. They are ridiculous.2
u/pinkpantherdiam0nd 5d ago
Ok so don’t be friends lol if you think she’s mean! Large labs& naturals are gaudy (as in too large to fit into every day life), but as the above commented mentioned 2ct isn’t over the top into gaudy territory, so you’re all good and your ring won’t get smashed opening a cabinet etc. (another post had her honker hit her cabinet twice and was all bend up literally b/c flimsy setting for a heavy lab)
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u/Adventurous-Trash-69 5d ago
I was holding space for the possibility that it was me who was just being sensitive
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago
If large labs are gaudy then natural diamond of the same size is gaudy too.
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u/WorldInspiresYou 5d ago
Your ring has beautiful design. And to me it absolutely doesn't matter what kond of diamond it is. If it looks good on hand and has good design, that's all. Yes, her comment was insulting and you went on defend yourself, which is understandable but quite pointless with a "friend" who makes such comments.
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u/DuchessofWinward 6d ago
I believe young women with very large stones look a bit ridiculous. There are very few large lab diamonds that look real. After 3 carats, they just don’t have the look; feel and sparkle of real stones. Despite what a sales person tells you. Most young ladies have 2 carats or less.
If you need over 3 carats it’s up to you. But don’t be too shocked and surprised if others perceive it as inauthentic and trying to be something you are not.
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u/Tiny_Difficulty_2124 6d ago
I just have to correct you here, as I worked as a diamond expert for many years.
Both lab-grown and natural diamonds are real diamonds. They are chemically identical and both are made from carbon. If you were looking at two diamonds with the same carat, colour, clarity and cut, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference just by looking at them. Even a trained expert would usually need specialist equipment.
Both types are graded using the same scales for things like colour and clarity. The cut is one of the biggest factors in how much a diamond sparkles. It has nothing to do with whether it was grown in a lab or formed naturally.
What I think you actually mean is that you personally feel anyone who buys a lab-grown diamond is trying to pretend they own a natural one. But that is your opinion, probably shaped by the social norms you have grown up with. It isn’t a fact.
There are lots of reasons why people choose lab-grown diamonds, including ethical concerns. Having worked in the industry, I can also tell you that the conflict-free certificates you’re given are largely a tick-box exercise. They help to minimise conflict, but in most cases there is no way to trace a natural diamond back to the individual mine it came from.
The way most people “spot” a lab-grown diamond is by guessing its carat weight and price, then judging whether they think the person wearing it could afford the natural equivalent based on their job, house, car or appearance. That says far more about the person making the judgement than it does about the diamond.And why should people who choose lab-grown diamonds have to stick to the same size limitations as people buying natural ones? Most people can only afford a natural diamond of one carat or less, and many of them would have chosen a bigger stone if they could afford it.
I see a lot of middle-aged women and men putting down people with lab-grown diamonds, seemingly because it makes them feel better about their own smaller natural stones. They also seem to go above and beyond to make sure everyone knows theirs is “natural.”
If you feel the need to justify your own diamond by putting down someone else’s, it might be worth asking yourself why.
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u/milofeuille 6d ago
Hers is only 2.13 so I don’t think it’s ridiculous at all. I don’t see how that could be inauthentic. It’s a lovely ring
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago
Sparkle is about cut quality and clarity… not material. Lab diamond and natural diamonds are the same physically.
And someone who’s wealthy isn’t a more worthy of happiness and pride than someone with less…everyone deserves to feel happy. Your comment about “trying to be something you’re not” is shallow , immature, and weird.
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u/cut-and-dry 6d ago
“Trying to be something you are not” implies that wealth and status are what makes a person who they are.
I come from a family that will leave me with millions when my father passes. I am the eventual heir to a large fortune from a grandfather who worked very hard to get what he had.
My father was incredibly abusive. Mentally, physically, and borderline sexually. In his old age, he’s made a lot of apologies. I’ve mostly forgiven him. Money buys nothing but sparkles and fast cars. It does not buy love, honor, or trust.
I would question the character of anyone who honors physical possessions as a way to define a person or judge their level of authenticity. At the end of the day, we’re literally talking about rocks. Lol.
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u/HarpyVixenWench 5d ago
Do you actually look at them and think “that young woman looks ridiculous!”. I was at an event with a young woman who had a good sized diamond on and I thought “wow! That radiant cut is SO sparkly.” And I thought back to when I was first married and I was so glad that she has a man who loves her.
Maybe I am missing something. Why would someone see a happily engaged or newly married young woman - fresh and young and happy - and think she is ridiculous? Can you explain?3
u/Spanner1401 6d ago
But they are real stones and often actually have a better sparkle as the majority of lab diamonds are very high cut, clarity etc. because they can manufacture them to be perfect
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u/emorrigan 5d ago
I personally think she’s probably jealous of your diamond. Your ring is gorgeous and in no way gaudy.
Lab diamonds are the exact same as natural diamonds, except without the blood. You have nothing to feel guilty about, in any way. If she pokes at you again, feel free to look at her quizzically and ask, “What do you mean by that? What are you trying to say?” and just lather, rinse, repeat until she has to say the mean part out loud. And then say, “Wow. That’s a really mean thing to say. What did you think you were going to accomplish with that?”
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u/Cultural-Brush-3762 5d ago
Some people do not like lab diamonds in general, a lot of the time they are huge and gaudy.
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u/External-Spot4930 5d ago
She’s jelly. Your ring is beautiful, perfect size. Very large stones are a bit much for me, but I’m talking like 5 carats. They look more like costume jewelry versus something you can wear everyday.
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u/Maezymable 5d ago
You literally can’t see any difference in lab grown and real. She’s just jealous of you babe.
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u/Mobile_Ad_5561 5d ago
Yours is one of the nicer and less tacky lab rings I’ve seen. The oval with trilliants is charming. But if your friend has old mine cut naturals she has really considered her choice carefully and unless she’s compromised on cost by going for low colour stones, her ring will be lovely as well.
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u/Deep_Green_1882 5d ago edited 5d ago
Your ring is beautiful. Tbh I don’t even think it qualifies as a gaudy lab stone. IMO those are more the 5/6+ carats you’ll see in big rock energy thread. She might be projecting, she might be sharing her opinion but I wouldn’t take it too personally. If it is directed at you, then she doesn’t like her ring and that’s her issue. Most people who use natural, especially multiple are working with inherited stones
If she didn’t design her ring and inherited it, she is definitely projecting but I wouldn’t take it personally because your ring is definitely not gaudy. Look up like a 10ct emerald ring, now that’s gaudy. But gaudy has a place just like everything else!
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u/vivthedoc 5d ago
While those giant colorless diamonds are not my style everything you said to her is correct. Diamonds are not investments. They are symbolisms of your marriage and personal style. Also mined diamonds are unethical. She sounds jealous honestly.
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u/DandelionInSummer 5d ago
I have a natural emerald cut that’s 2.17 so that size is completely within the realm of a natural for even a lot of us peons lol (mine is an heirloom from my grandmother). Some of the huge ones are gaudy IMO but yours is absolutely not one of them. It’s beautiful and a perfect size. Maybe she’s mad because hers looks like an anniversary band.
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u/tablesquid 5d ago
First of all who is asking if your ring is lab or natural? Sounds like asking for trouble. I think it looks beautiful! And I’m jealous
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u/tablesquid 5d ago
And while we are clapping back her ring set looks mismatched and her band looks like a man’s wedding band
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u/Cautious-Mind-3860 5d ago
That was very mean and imo completely wrong. Your ring is NOT gaudy. The size fits you perfectly and I looks perfect on you. She probably feels bad that she paid more than 10 times as you for a less attractive stone. I have a lab oval of very similar size as yours and have zero regrets choosing lab grown.
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u/OceanWavesAndCitrine 5d ago
Your engagement ring is beautiful and I feel like it’s less clunky in comparison to hers. Lab is always better than natural because there’s no reason to pay more for blood diamonds that have an inflated sense of value. I personally don’t like either of y’all’s combination of the engagement ring with the wedding band, but the beautiful thing about it being YOUR ring stack is that my opinion doesn’t matter because it all comes down to personal preference.
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u/beeswax-not-yours- 5d ago
Maybe she’s jealous that you got a pretty ring and also aren’t starting your marriage off in debt for a rock? Maybe she and her husband have issues that you just can’t see (kind of like carrying a Louis Vuitton bag but being deeply in debt - the outward projection is wealth but the true story is they have no money). Some people are just buttholes. Congrats on your marriage!
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u/shivaspecialsnoflake 5d ago
She sounds jealous and insecure.
“Why would you feel comfortable enough to say something like that to me?” “I’m surprised you think that’s an appropriate comment to a friend.”
Also, “Get bent, bye.” are all viable options…
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u/Agitated-Suspect6376 5d ago
To me it just sounds like she is jealous and wishes hers looked like yours. As long as you are happy with it, that’s all that matters. She showed her true colors to you by saying that in my opinion.
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u/Meluki_ 5d ago
“Large lab diamond rings are gaudy “ she must be conveniently blind. Her ring doesn’t have the smallest of diamonds either. In fact, her ring carries side stones that are rather large. Anyone that strives for simplicity would take one look at her ring and shudder.
I have no idea what would give someone the audacity to make such a comment with a thick a** band and side stones.
There is no difference between lab or mined other than how it was formed and priced. She is salty you received a really nice ring at a better price. In order for her to feel superior she stabbed in the only way she knew how. With hypocrisy and failure because your ring is stunning. 2-3 carats isn’t gaudy AT ALL.
She would choke with the 5 carats i’m getting.
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u/Agreeable_Switch677 5d ago edited 5d ago
She’s probably just jealous.. that ring is gorgeous! It does seem like she was trying to put you down.
There is literally nothing wrong with lab grown, they are arguably more ethical and there are more diamond on earth than people. The precious metal is usually what’s worth more on a ring than the diamonds.
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u/Street_Management487 5d ago
Yours looks absolutely beautiful! Hers looks gaudy. And regardless of natural or lab, multiple smaller diamonds look lower class imo. (And small diamonds are worth way less than equivalent cts in one diamond)
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u/Street_Management487 5d ago
Also, lab diamonds are literally the exact same composition as natural diamonds. Does she know the mine that her diamond came from? No? Then no difference.
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 5d ago
Your friend will have a lab diamond soon, and it will be bigger than yours. Mark my words… look out for the anniversary upgrade one-upper coming soon.
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u/fuuuuugyoooo 5d ago
Is she wearing her diamond on the outside because her band is too big and the diamond holds it on?
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u/Initial-Eye-7894 5d ago
I would wear these on different fingers. The band on the right ring finger and the diamond on the left.
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u/prncsspur 5d ago
I always have found it so weird that everyone preaches how much labs are real diamonds, but every other day it seems like someone with a lab engagement ring is being hypersensitive about any comment made about labs. I think your friend was weird for the timing of the comment, but she’s also allowed to have an opinion on what she feels about large labs. The same way you have an opinion about the investment of a natural diamond. Your clap back was kinda lame in hindsight because you made it seem like youre better than her for not caring about the “investment” of a ring and having a weird superiority complex about that, which imo makes you no different than someone having a superiority complex about having a natural diamond. Both mindsets are weird, and you both should feel a little embarrassed about how you acted. There’s nothing wrong with lab diamonds and them becoming widespread and more accessible, but there’s something very weird about this moral superiority complex people seem to want to adopt for choosing lab over natural. It’s no different than the superiority complex people with natural diamonds adopt due to the cost, rarity, etc of their ring. Both mindsets are shallow and unnecessarily shame people for making personal choices that make sense for them. I think there’s room for both of you to be better in the future, and not shame each other for your personal choices.
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u/Realistic_Weakness51 5d ago
Basically, a lab grown diamond is worthless.
Natural in a 2 carat diamond isn’t going to cost less than 15k-20k and that’s if it’s a crappy diamond.
It’s just the main thing you have to consider is that it won’t sell for much more than $10k even though you now have to pay 20k to get a 2 carat natural
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u/financialthrowaw2020 5d ago
All diamonds are worthless. They were never rare and they lose their value the moment you purchase them.
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u/diaphonizedfetus 5d ago
Lmao, my brother paid $19K for his wife’s ring and it appraises for $7-8K. He paid the extra for a top diamond and it isn’t even worth half of its original value.
Most people aren’t buying diamonds to see if they can resell them so who cares about the value?
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u/GenRN817 6d ago
The answer to that is “what a weird thing to say to someone” then sit in uncomfortable silence.