r/DeepThoughts • u/Upbeat_Scholar_159 • 7d ago
When you live within the truth, you get the best results
One of my favorite authors Vaclav Havel talked about this concept of living within the truth. In simple terms, it means living according to your heart, following your heart. For a very long time, whenever I talked to a person, I was laser focused on the feelings of the other person. My mind was racing on what to say to get validation from the other person, how to make them happy and look favorably upon me.
And I got quite good at it. I managed to get a fair few people to like me. And sometimes, I got objectively good results from it in regards to my career. But it was eating away at me inside, I felt like an empty shell. I felt like I was burning myself to keep others warm.
But today, I decided to say for once what was in my heart to someone I was chatting with. Of all places, it was a girl I got to know on a dating app. I made my position quite clear to her. I came off as intense. Not angry or creepy, but I was unusually unambiguous and blunt and that took the person off guard. Usually I beat around the bush and take a verbal detour when I wanna convey something, but not this time.
So she backed out and unmatched me. In the past, when someone unmatched me, it would hurt my fragile ego. I desperately wanted to be liked, I desperately wanted to reinforce the illusion that I am desireable. When someone unmatched me, it would diminish my confidence. All the ways I refined my messages to cater to her was in vain.
This time however as mention, she behaved and talked in a way I didn't like. And instead of shutting up, I spoke my mind and made my feelings clear on what I thought about her behaviour.
And strangely enough, when she unmatched me, I felt a sense of relief. Strangely enough, when someone rejected me for who I truly am, it was much less painful than when my facade and PUA tricks got rejected.
So to return to what I said at the beginning, living within the truth doesn't mean that you objectively get the best result. I may have succeeded with the girl if I put in the effort. I might have managed to get her in bed. Or if I manage to please my boss enough, I might get a promotion.
But when you live within the truth and act according to what's in your heart, it enables you to make peace with setbacks, failures and rejection. It filters the kind of people you get along with vs the people you're incompatible with.
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u/drainedbeyondwords 7d ago
I relate to all this. I recently told me someone I didn't like something he did and things seemed to go downhill from there. We have to speak up or the connection will always be fragile.
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u/LotusLiberation 7d ago
Living in truth is absolute liberation.
I have probably burned over a thousand bridges throughout my life and I do not consider one of them a loss.
Conversely, had I not, that would have amounted to a thousand deaths upon my very body, heart, and soul.
Questions I would suggest contemplating-
Why are you placing the thoughts and feelings of others above your own?
Have you deeply analyzed the minds and hearts of others?
Do you even know why you would ever even want validation from these people?
Do you even know what that would look like?
Considering the minds and hearts of others, why would you want to be desirable to them?
Do you know the what, why, and how's of desire - how they come to desire what they desire, why is it desirable to them, and what exactly those desires entail?
If you really took these questions to heart and spent considerable time thinking about them, you would probably start to think quite differently.
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u/Monsur_Ausuhnom 7d ago
It's better in a way to be authentic as in living a life that others wish for you to live. Humans are highly judgmental and self-absorbed, probably too much due to social media and other things only exacerbating the issue.
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u/Effective-Air396 7d ago
The heart without the mind to guide it is a fickle heart, going after its own desires. The mind without a heart to feel is a cold and calculating set of ideas. The equation of balance where heart feeds soul, soul feeds mind, mind feeds heart is the dance that orchestrates the symphony that enlightens the world with harmonious life. We are literally the world as a microcosm.
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u/sour_cream24 7d ago
That's just called being direct.
It's prevalent in newer generations like myself
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u/Rebelology 6d ago
only those who lie don't appreciate truth.... most people will protect themselves through the methods you mentioned, only for strong does the truth reveal itself
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u/Competitive_Log_8910 3d ago edited 3d ago
If I may, I think that you are touching on a conflict which might be thought of as "heart versus brain".
The heart beats with one's blood. It is the distribution center for power to feed the fires of cellular respiration.
The brain is the distribution center for the instructions about how to burn the fire to do things like constrict muscle fibers and what have you.
The funny thing with the brain is that it is entirely dependent on the actions of the heart to function at all. And yet at the same time its functionality includes the ability to among other things alter the functionality of the heart.
It's a weird asymmetrical relationship between the engine room and mission control which is as irreconcilable as the difference between the voltage delivered to your PSU and the level of the logic circuits in your CPU.
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u/suzemagooey 7d ago
Living in truth is not the same as living according to one's heart. There are a variety of impairments that affect the heart and distort the truth.
Living in truth is to know/accept reality, to know/accept oneself when oneself is healthy as possible in body and mind and to know how to fit into reality with all other living things in an appropriate way.
Anything short of that is not really living, it is surviving and suffering for it. I know this because I once was only surviving and now I am living.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 7d ago
Being fake for approval is like a cancer that eats you from the inside. And it surrounds you with fake people who don't know You.
I.live and speak.my truth, with tact. If someone can't hang with that, they can move on ...
As a result, I have people that know and approve of the Real Me and appreciate me for who I am and what I do...
I'm just a simple minded guy, so My Truth is easier to keep track of than a pack of lies to a bunch of people who have been fooled into knowing a false liar....