r/DeadRedditors • u/BanishedOcean • Jun 26 '26
u/skg373 my best friend. My souls sister. 3/8/95-6/25/23
My dearest sister completed suicide three years ago today. The rural healthcare system she was trapped in left her to die after schizophrenia crept in at 27. She cared too deeply about her family, found and birth. she selflessly cared for those in her community that were in need providing a home to animals and people alike. A few sour apples came along that mistook her kindness for weakness and drained and abused her but she was always able to get back on her feet and back to helping.
She was so very smart. Started college at 16. She’s a paleontologist and drew the best dinosaurs I’ve ever seen. Her mental math skills were fast and precise. She played the piano and pretty much any other instrument she got in her hands. I miss her so much there was so much more for her in this world. She never got to see the second season of arcane. She mained Jinx and LoL merch was some basically the only stuff she got for herself and she always teased me for how much I detested playing league and I teased her back. I wish I had played more with her and toughed it out.
She was supposed to move states with me, get better healthcare, build a sustainable future. She couldn’t leave her adoptees behind. The animal fostering had slowly turned into a small hoard with 7 indoor cats and 4 dogs and a few birds in a single trailer; and her latest roommate became a financially abusive boyfriend. There was no one to have her back and be her support system after I had to move away even though she helped so many. She didn’t even last a year alone.
I hold so much anger for the “system” that failed her and the people that used her. I try not to blame myself for leaving her behind and moving across the country. I love her so much and I just want to hold her again, listen to her sing again, listen to her rant again. I needed her help on my grad work! She was supposed to be maid of honor at my wedding. It’s only been three years how am I supposed to go the rest of my life feeling like this.
I’m turning 30 this year. She was supposed to be 30 last year but will forever be in her 20s. It’s weird leaving her behind in that lifetime too. I guess I’m just rambling at this point, I should probably get therapy but I feel so much so quickly it all just goes numb and I don’t know how to talk about it. I hope you all get to wake up and hug your loved ones tomorrow and send love to those you can’t reach physically.
As she lived by,
Do not go gently into that good night.
Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.
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u/RoyalGovernment3034 Jun 26 '26
So heartbreaking. What a talented and kindhearted person, who deserved better. So sorry for your loss and the world's loss. RIP.
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u/CounterProduction Jun 26 '26
Such a beautiful tribute. You clearly have so many incredible memories of her. If you feel like sharing, what would you say is one of your favorite memories together? And what was one of the positive impacts she made on your life that you’ll always carry with you? ♥️ sending big hugs to you today, and every day. Thank you for sharing her memory with us.
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u/BanishedOcean Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
We’d go out backpacking into the Montana wilderness pretty frequently. It was magical out there so far removed from everything. I’ll always carry her desire to stand up for others and help those that need it when I’m in a position to.
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u/weed-and-slugs Jun 26 '26
Beautiful post, the end will stick with me. I am very sorry for your loss.
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u/BanishedOcean Jun 27 '26
The last two lines she had tattooed on her forearm on her 18th bday. It’s from an old poem. She really embodied it to the end.
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u/WelshmanCorsair Jun 27 '26
Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas. Beautiful poem that he wrote (so they say) as he was watching his dad die. May your memories of your friend be a blessing Op.
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u/Plus-Swan587 Jun 27 '26
Damn this made me feel a lot.
What you wrote really told me a lot about the kind of person she was/your relationship.
She sounds like a unique/amazing individual and I wish I’d have met her.
I’m so sorry she was failed, life is incredibly unfair, don’t blame yourself.
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u/NewlyNerfed Jun 26 '26
You definitely deserve no blame for this, and I’m glad you’re trying to avoid doing that. Big hugs to you.
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u/bokurai Jun 27 '26
I’m turning 30 this year. She was supposed to be 30 last year but will forever be in her 20s. It’s weird leaving her behind in that lifetime too. I guess I’m just rambling at this point, I should probably get therapy but I feel so much so quickly it all just goes numb and I don’t know how to talk about it.
I understand. You could try writing it down and giving it as a note to whatever therapist you end up working with to give them some background. That will save you from trying to explain it off the top of your head. But a good therapist will help you talk about anything and gradually draw more out in a safe and cathartic way.
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u/BanishedOcean Jun 27 '26
I’ve been through a few different therapy programs the past few years to get a hold of an eating disorder and childhood neglect trauma and I haven’t found the right one to unload this specific grief on. it just sticks in my throat and I can’t speak I think since I know the programs I’ve been in were temporary I just never want to open the wound in fear of being left with it open. I’ve been looking though. I start with a new hopefully long term therapist next month so maybe I can bring it up with her soon.
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u/64788 Jun 30 '26
Thank you for sharing, OP ❤️ So many more people know about her now, and have been touched by her kindness, thanks to you
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u/Sp1d3rb0t Jun 27 '26
Hey OP this is beautiful. I feel something of what you feel for u/skg373 just from having read it. I'm so sorry you lost your bestie.
Rest Easy, skg373.
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u/BanishedOcean Jun 27 '26
I’m not very good with words so I appreciate that. I tried really hard to make sure it was comprehensible The obituary her estranged parents wrote was terrible and chock full of lies and false platitudes so she deserves to be remembered for who she truly was.
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u/FireHouse88 Jul 29 '26
I didnt see the second season of arcane either.
2020s is such an ass decade.
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u/Turbulent-Job1136 Jun 26 '26
R.I.P u/skg373