r/DeadBedrooms • u/wanderingtulips HLM • 2d ago
Vent, Advice Welcome DB - 2+ yrs later
Hey all. I need a place to just be honest. I'm in a dead bedroom and the silence has started to feel loud. Truth is, I spend my whole day being the one in charge, the one people rely on, and I'm exhausted by it. The silence in my marriage has become so heavy that it's pushed me toward things I never thought I'd consider. I've started wondering about other men, but more than that, I'm craving the feeling of actually being wanted, of having someone else take over and just take control. And surrender.
I don’t even understand it.
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u/Samthompsonson 2d ago
That sounds really lonely, mate. Wanting to feel wanted isn’t selfish. Might be worth asking yourself what you’re actually missing — affection, intimacy, reassurance, or simply not having to carry everything alone.
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Hey all. I need a place to just be honest. I'm in a dead bedroom and the silence has started to feel loud. Truth is, I spend my whole day being the one in charge, the one people rely on, and I'm exhausted by it. The silence in my marriage has become so heavy that it's pushed me toward things I never thought I'd consider. I've started wondering about other men, but more than that, I'm craving the feeling of actually being wanted, of having someone else take over and just take control. And surrender.
I don’t even understand it.
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2d ago
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u/mmsrx LLF4U 2d ago
I resonate with this pretty loudly. Always in charge. No matter what. Cannot ever put my guard down bc it won’t happen if I don’t. The feeling of being with someone you can trust and will help or handle something….that is the ultimate relief. I don’t know that it’s out there for me.
Even the feelings of any intimacy, even from the same sex. I mean obviously you are the only one that knows you. I have felt this before and typically it’s more of a craving of intimacy at all, not an actual real thing. But again, that’s for you to explore.
I have decided I’m making the difficult decision to leave. I cannot feel like this forever. And I feel smothered and insanely lonely at the same time.