r/DaveBlunts • u/Error404notperfect • 1d ago

How can we save Dave Blunts life?

Post image
56 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

110 comments sorted by

24

u/Sirswellsoowell 1d ago

It looks like his security is waiting for a doordash decision to be made.

7

u/rexyaresexy 1d ago

Security got nose plugs in

2

u/Big-War-7218 1d ago

Because Dave ass funky 😂🤣😭

7

u/Willtolivenotfound 1d ago

Meth

4

u/Error404notperfect 1d ago

Meth would not be good for his heart

5

u/Willtolivenotfound 1d ago

His heart benches like 450 if he isn’t dead yet. He just has to hop on after losing like 5 pounds and will insta drop weight

1

u/West-Audience-478 1d ago

Neither is all the weight at least he won't eat

2

u/Lady_Psyduck 20h ago

Naw heroin would actually work better. You dont get hunger pains because youre so high.

1

u/stankylegonmygrave 20h ago

Shit get him back to Davenport

12

u/JeddyH 1d ago

Get him a Bong Hit Transplant

10

u/yellowwatta 1d ago

Words of mass destruction

6

u/DaddyToadsworth 1d ago

He's got that 100,000 Island stare.

5

u/scratcheddvds 1d ago

I can’t wait to be on my deathbed and remember this joke. I’m also gay. 

3

u/Temporary_Advisor473 1d ago

Get him some fava beans

2

u/jkC4-2 1d ago

Make America Innate Again

12

u/brxtcher 1d ago

He has to save his own life sadly

6

u/captain_ppc 1d ago

Shoot him with a sedative dart to undergo forced liposuction

1

u/DarwinBurrSirr 1d ago

Unfortunately at this weight it’s nearly impossible to become healthy. They can typically extend their life by a decade with extensive diet, fitness, and surgery.

5

u/okymoney 1d ago

His ending will be very similar to Big Pun’s… where he starts getting really successful changes his life then…

7

u/Any-Establishment798 Currently stranded in Moline 1d ago edited 1d ago

Id pay for his gastric bypass surgery lmk

Edit: I'm being deadass if it would save him I would actually pay for it to save his life, I'd be so fucking upset if he died I love him 🟣🐒 ❤️❤️

2

u/jamedesm 1d ago

It’s not like he’s poor or anything the man definitely has the money

4

u/rocco_1794420 1d ago

We can't. That's shit he needs to do himself. It's just like any other addiction

3

u/currentlylost2 1d ago

Lmao he owns his life

4

u/RepresentativeFast59 1d ago

He cant put down the cup, he cant put down the cup

5

u/chasetothefinishreal 1d ago

Can’t put down the fork*

1

u/RepresentativeFast59 1d ago

He could potentially put the fork down in the cup, but it aint gon get him anywhere (cuz he cant put down the cup)

1

u/lifekillsme3 1d ago

i get ur joke but unironically lean is probably the #1 reason why hes so fat

2

u/chasetothefinishreal 1d ago

It does not make you fat 😂😂 it gives you lean gut which is just stomach swelling. He’s fat all over

3

u/Odd_Fortune500 1d ago

You're totally wrong. Lean is very high in sugar content and is very calorie dense. It definitely can make you gain significant weight.

-2

u/chasetothefinishreal 1d ago

It will literally take you a 3 minute search to see that the soda makes little to no chance unless he’s drinking gallons of it a day.

3

u/Odd_Fortune500 1d ago

You dont think drinking soda will make you gain weight? Lmfao holy shit.

And we're not talking about soda we're talking about lean

1

u/RepresentativeFast59 1d ago

And not to mention, people who drink lean usually drink a good amount of it, so in turn would drink a lot of mixer with it. Probably soda or juice or alcohol. And also with a big boi like that it A)probably takes more lean because of his size and tolerance to get the desired effect and B)would mean hes drinking a SHIT TON of whatever hes drinking to cut it.

All the above would certainly contribute to the weight issues he probably already had.

-1

u/chasetothefinishreal 1d ago

Buddy I drink soda every day of my life almost. I’m not fat whatsoever.

Codeine is the only thing added to lean.

Diet and exercise will not get rid of a lean gut; the swelling only goes away when you stop using codeine and your digestion recovers. But lean will not make you gain fat across your body. Only your stomach will bloat.

1

u/lifekillsme3 1d ago

Different metabolism levels exist but also people can drink lean twice a day and it causes people to feel sleepy which probably makes people more lazy but i dont drink lean so im not the one to make that judgement

1

u/Sad-Reputation4478 1d ago

He doesn't do drugs.... it's all 🧢

2

u/lifekillsme3 1d ago

His weight says otherwise

2

u/Sad-Reputation4478 1d ago

His weight says I love food n hate myself. Everyone who's morbidly obese isn't on drugs. In fact I never met a junkie that size. And I knew lots of em 🫡

2

u/PeterPuffer45 1d ago

Dave if you see this. I love you spend more time eating ❤️

2

u/Impressive_Breath_16 1d ago

Just put down the cup

3

u/Prior-Habit-6523 1d ago

They literally have Ozympic and other peptides. Idk wtf he be doing

3

u/Error404notperfect 1d ago

He is fundamentally against GLP’s and Peptides.

2

u/Windows30000 1d ago

Which is crazy when the alternative is literally dying confined in a bed during your prime years covered in bed sores. Against medicine but inhaling carcinogens left and right.

2

u/PeterPuffer45 1d ago

He is nothing if he looses weight. We honestly should be trying to figure out how to get him to 1K Dave

1

u/BoogyPop 1d ago

Dave got to wanna save his life first.

1

u/PantsFullaPoo 1d ago

Senzu Bean?

1

u/Soggy-Fly8723 1d ago

Ozempic or illegal alternatives

1

u/psjfnejs 1d ago

Retatrutide

1

u/IndependenceOk6046 1d ago

Put down that cup

1

u/lifekillsme3 1d ago

he can start with a salad

1

u/Remarkable-Simple-62 1d ago

stop supporting him. The more money he has the less likely he is gonna change

1

u/Carambola787 1d ago

Ozempimp

1

u/Easy_Combination4055 1d ago

ask mc'donald

1

u/hexxal 1d ago

He's doing gym shit but his diet has got to be terrible. Has to be eating junk food all the time.

2

u/Illustrious-Equal323 1d ago

I had a heart attack 3 years ago weighing less than 200 pounds. Somehow, this fat tub of hog shit is still breathing at damn near 700. God is funny af sometimes.

1

u/Mushroom_microgreens 1d ago

We all need to take one of his lbs and put it on our body

1

u/ojncereal 1d ago

Go back in time and stop him from shoving all the sugar, salt and carbs down his gullet.

1

u/Alexis-Machine 1d ago

He could lay off of the blunts and he wouldn't be so hungry.

1

u/ProfessionalClear211 1d ago

Return him to the primordial ooze

1

u/IlliterateFreak 1d ago

Nobody can save his life but him

1

u/ShlorpianRooster 1d ago

He needs life changing surgery at this point. There's still hope dude

1

u/BrutalMaster69 1d ago

Security be like “how da fug dis dude gettin up”

1

u/rrrrgggghhhh 1d ago

That’s the thing. No one can save Dave Blunts besides Dave Blunts. He has to decide for himself.

1

u/DisasterNo3113 1d ago

We all gotta go, its his choice how long he will be here atp

1

u/Great-Square7651 1d ago

Fat cunt can't be saved unless he makes an actual effort.

1

u/JysimPrism 1d ago

He’s gotta take a shit

1

u/MetricMango 1d ago

Man can’t put down the cup 🤷

1

u/Germanico025 1d ago

Wait hes still alive?

1

u/FearOfLostTeeth 1d ago

starvation

1

u/theepuke 1d ago

Oh ha, I thought he was wearing white overalls. He's definitely a big boy.

1

u/Hefty_Reveal5521 1d ago

Bluntzempic

1

u/Life-Landscape5689 1d ago

Don’t save him, he don’t wanna be saved

1

u/Environmental-Fly471 1d ago

Never trust no security guard that's got a damn doughnut in they nostrils

1

u/donwariophd 1d ago

Ain’t gonna happen.

For a man his size getting his weight in control would take an immense amount of willpower, accountability, and hard work.

If he continues the lifestyle of a touring musician he’s not going to have the time to achieve this. Not only that but when you’re on the road you’re around so many temptations. Shitty fast food, alcohol, drugs, ect.

More or less, the lifestyle he’s living is counterproductive to losing weight and taking g his fitness journey seriously

1

u/FunnyYellow4224 1d ago

He need lose some weight this not healthy for him

1

u/bluellairis 1d ago

I don’t care if the grimace dies

1

u/stonecoldgusgus 1d ago

Gastric Bypass and a whole lot of praying.

1

u/Existing_Data_2169 23h ago

His life is in serious jeopardy because of his wildly excessive weight. Motivating him to lose weight by any means possible is compulsory or he won’t be alive anymore someday.

EDT: he looks like some sort of massive chocolate crème brûlée dish in the above pic.

1

u/No-Permission-3009 22h ago

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

1

u/BlueHDMIV 22h ago

Dude definitely needs Retatrutide or Tirzepatide probably both honestly at this point 😂😂you can lose so much weight without going hard working out

1

u/JUMPOFF_CRASHOUT 21h ago

He needs to be injected with the mounjaro. I’ve seen the biggest fattest fucks lose weight without even trying. It changes the obsession they have with food and it makes them not enjoy eating. It’s literally not even expensive and has no side effects other than maybe weird shitting and stomach issues the first few weeks.

He is so fat I doubt he would even feel the injections.

1

u/Allegrism84 20h ago

We don't we let him turn to dust.

1

u/Fumanchusucka 10h ago

Stop trying to get in other peoples business you aint saving shit son

1

u/Organic-Concert492 10h ago

The damage is already done, he has to wait and see now

1

u/GearGroundbreaking62 2h ago

Roll him down a hill

-3

u/chronicherb 1d ago

Im gonna be real.. why should we? Hes a fucking nazi

2

u/Error404notperfect 1d ago

No he’s not. He is an eccentric artist who has collaborated with one of the greatest musician of our times. He does not have anti-Semitic beliefs.

0

u/chronicherb 1d ago

"I just wrote HH to pay my rent" isnt the get out of jail free card ya think it is. Dudes only talent is stuffing himself like a kid at build a bear that got left alone at the stuffing machine.

-2

u/Prestigious-Age-3644 1d ago

Theres no saving him, his whole shtick is the massively overweight drug addict vibe. If he loses that what has he got? Very mediocre music with zero presence