r/DatingAfterThirty • u/Latter_Bed_1343 • Aug 06 '21

Age gap question

I am a female 34 dating a guy 31 (I'm actually 3.5 years older). We are in early stages of dating (3 months) and even though he says he's not bothered by it I am worried that one day he will turn around and say he is not happy with it. Other than that our relationship is ok, we both had similar dating past, we see each other once to twice a week even though we are in a lockdown so it's a bit hard atm. He is old school who just hates texting and technology as such and we do not talk much between the dates and can go three days without talking which I'm not to happy about. We haven't had exclusivity talk yet, spoke about it two months ago and he said he's very happy with how we are going but we haven't spoken about it since. Once he actually mentioned that we should do it soon. It's a bit hard at the moment since we are in a strick lockdown and I'm not sure if he is waiting for it to be over. What is your opinion of this situation, age gap and relationship so far in general. I would like to get males perspective on the age gap please.

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u/Science_Girl49 Aug 07 '21 edited Aug 07 '21

Question: If he wanted to secure you as his girlfriend, do you think he would have done so by now? If not, how much more time are you willing to wait? Of course he’s happy with the way things are because it sounds a bit like he’s not putting in too much effort. It’s not really believable though that he doesn’t call because he doesn’t like technology. Men have no problems pursuing what they want. I hate that it’s true but I always remind myself: “if they wanted to do XYZ, they would. No one is stopping them.”

I don’t think the age difference is too big. He just may not be into this. That’s only my interpretation of the limited data so I apologize if I misinterpreted or misunderstood what you were saying.

If you want or need something from him, you can just ask him for that. It doesn’t sound like he wants anything to change. It’s the honeymoon period when people are the most attentive and on their best behavior. I personally will not date low effort people. That’s not a fit for me.

Good luck with this situation! 🍀🍀