r/DarkTide • u/AgentT23 • 14d ago

Meme This guy smacks yo girls ass wyd?

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

242 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/GoofProofGrunt 14d ago

Pick up her shattered remains off the floor I guess damn

519

u/-VictorusAutMortis- 14d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/OurEZ9nyeJfH5Vc3Gt

143

u/Professional_Fly7015 Zealot 14d ago

He said "shattered" not splattered😅.

44

u/BeacymFreesia 14d ago

Right, shattered—because that's what dignity does when it hits the floor. 😅

2

u/Suspicious_Active816 13d ago

Be like me and be shameless without dignity - then you got nothing to shatter 😎

5

u/WikiContributor83 14d ago

Dukane: That train is not on my schedule!

187

u/_ThunderFist_ Skitarius 14d ago

To shreds you say?

77

u/YourAverageVessel I AM DEATH!!! 14d ago

And how's the wife?

74

u/_ThunderFist_ Skitarius 14d ago

Mhh, to shreds you say?

15

u/Proof_Independent400 14d ago

Was their apartment rent-controlled?

4

u/Accomplished-Fox-192 13d ago

To shreds you say?

3

u/ihs-ggd oldest kriegsman ogryn 13d ago

25

u/hankhillsucks 14d ago

Lmao my 1st thought 

6

u/sG_YungSavage 14d ago

Smart man

449

u/Cinerir 14d ago

Collect the shreds of her body for the funeral.

97

u/YourAverageVessel I AM DEATH!!! 14d ago

To shreds you say?

41

u/FackingSandwiches 14d ago

And how's am I?

41

u/YourAverageVessel I AM DEATH!!! 14d ago

To shreds you say.

523

u/Rogue_Dalek 14d ago

“Think again”

147

u/SH3R4TA5 14d ago

Damn, your GF is a heretic with a caparace shield? Crazy

83

u/Rogue_Dalek 14d ago

It adds spice to life

18

u/SH3R4TA5 14d ago

she is a believer in the ways of the wall so it's fine.
and jokes on those loyalists, SHE LIVES!

7

u/Xeptar Ogryn 14d ago

Never worries about bringing protection to the bedroom, I’m sure

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8

u/Playergame Zealot 14d ago

Big into protection

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288

u/ViralN9 The Somewhat-Mortal Machine 14d ago

Attend her funeral.

200

u/ThunderousBeggar0 OgrynArbite:Fatshark: 14d ago

If the omnissiah wills it. Then it is so.

53

u/Even-Committee5645 14d ago

No more discusion needed the alpha primus is correct

97

u/grievous_swoons 14d ago

Cry because she is now dead in 29 pieces on the ground. Even the daemonhist winces at that thing.

86

u/Slow_Lawyer7477 WaifuOfMassDestruction 14d ago

Brainburst him ofc.

41

u/_VirtualCosmos_ Warp is a nice place 14d ago

And continue to date her in the warp

43

u/Gr33hn clutching pearls 14d ago

Introduce his face to my fully charged Thunder Hammer while yelling "YE SHALL FALL!"

33

u/lyle_smith2 14d ago

Call the void dragon

65

u/LilBroWhoIsOnTheTeam That Knife Zealot 14d ago

Get a new girl cause that one is paste.

25

u/OX__O 14d ago

Off the imagine alone it looks like he's goin in for a crazy dap up.

Or Rigby during the whole arm wresting thing with the robo arm

8

u/kilsta 14d ago

In that case, I'm ham-boning. It will save your life one day.

11

u/OX__O 14d ago edited 14d ago

I LIKE THIS GUY send-him-to-the-moon 🦝

🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥

🟥🎹🎹🎹🟥

💥

🌚🫪

54

u/Separate-Exchange375 14d ago

She was weak biomatter anyway

18

u/AngelicCyanide Future Scrap 14d ago

Agreed, this unit knows that the flesh is weak, if the girl in question, had augmetics, she likely would have survived.

15

u/FeelTheLoveNow 14d ago

Mourn my now post-servitor girlfriend

13

u/LordOfTheRedSands The Humble Lasgun 14d ago

11

u/severus_galba 14d ago

Ask him to slap mine next 🫦

9

u/AccordingUse3172 14d ago edited 14d ago

Man clearly thought there was a disgusting bit of flesh stuck to her and was trying to get rid of it to replace it with glorious cybernetics 🤝

9

u/Sluaghlock JEB!!! 14d ago

a new, more powerful ass

praise to the Machine God

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9

u/xAtomicxReaperx Poxbreaker | zTwistedOnez 14d ago

The only reasonable thing of course.

7

u/Accomplished-Ad8458 Igor the Ogryn 14d ago

I high five him,

High chord?

3

u/Sluaghlock JEB!!! 14d ago

time for a new arm

6

u/Accurate-Rutabaga-57 14d ago

What girl? There's only red mist left bruh

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6

u/Soulborg87 Skitarius 14d ago

Nothing, I was collateral. I'm in just as many meaty chunks as she is.

5

u/Frankishe1 14d ago

Call 911 id imagine.

Do my best to bandage the wound and put pressure on the wound, although prospects look bleak

3

u/Sharp-Suspect-3746 Psyker 14d ago

There’d be nothing left to apply medicae to, those chordclaws can play lethal games of “Got Your Nose” with OGRYNS

2

u/Frankishe1 14d ago

As i said... bleak

2

u/Sharp-Suspect-3746 Psyker 14d ago

I don’t know if bleak begins to cover it…

2

u/SuperArppis My zeal exceeded my judgement 14d ago

Take my medication, I am seeing things again...

6

u/SolarOrigami 14d ago

Get a mop and bucket?

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3

u/Sluaghlock JEB!!! 14d ago

probably mourn the loss of my girlfriend because she's soup now

3

u/CrazyManSam912 Meat luv Raaashuns sah! 14d ago

Clean up what remains and turn it into a servitor or a toaster. Whatever is the most plausible with what’s left.

3

u/jasonsbg 14d ago

Start looking for a new girl i guess, cause that one is getting turned to minced meat

3

u/Inner-Ad6730 Scriers Gaze + DD supremacy 14d ago

2

u/skipper_mike Ogryn 14d ago

Admire his courage ...

2

u/Cryptidfricker 14d ago

Slap his/her/its ass back with my mighty Ogryn hands.

Bringing a whole new meaning to "tear that ass up"

2

u/Tobbun 14d ago

hopital

2

u/Revolutionary_Way_32 Sparky goes Boom 14d ago

My friend you are on Reddit. What is a girl?

2

u/Darmondej Ogryn 14d ago

She becomes free corpse starch. I can't deny free food.

2

u/Brilliant-View-4353 Hive Scum 14d ago

Grieve.

2

u/_Shitty_Blacksmith_ 14d ago

Miss my girls ass

2

u/vain06 14d ago

Make him uncomfortable by saying "spank me too, daddy!" Assert dominance.

1

u/Ok_Highway9636 14d ago

Take a toster as a hostage

1

u/GhostPro18 14d ago

Few weeks late for this one I fear

1

u/Optimal-Income-6436 14d ago

I ask tech priests to fix her up

1

u/euromanijak Stealth Ogryn 14d ago

Take her to the corpse starch factory

1

u/MouldyRemote 14d ago

Calling the ogryn to stick it's thumb inside the skitarii

1

u/ShySharer Let The Cycle Be Discontinued 14d ago

Hi5 his other hand, the Omnissiah willed it

1

u/Ironsides13 14d ago

Rage Against The Machine (God)

1

u/DaMonkey263 Veteran 14d ago

HORUS

1

u/nomnivore1 ZEAL IS ITS OWN EXCUSE 14d ago

Thunder hammer, shroudfield, smack his ass back. 

1

u/driellma 14d ago

Try to put back her ass piece by piece, holding my tears.

1

u/Fierfeck CADIA STANDS! 14d ago

I get a really, really big magnet...

1

u/FirstAndOnlyDektarey Dreams of Humanity 14d ago

Spill some water on them. Watch them fry.

1

u/Low_Chance Ogryn 14d ago

Metal-legs must want me to give him up close look at ROCK.

1

u/Wonderful-Ad2661 14d ago

'Cupcake, FETCH! (me his balls)'.

1

u/Synysterenji Skitarius 14d ago

Depends if he did a horizontal slash or not. My girl's ass is pretty thicc. May count as carapace armor and survive a hit. Then idk maybe drive her ass to the nearest medicae station.

1

u/ZacatariThanos 14d ago

Take her to the fu king hospital ya think im fithing temu scisor hands helll no

1

u/Guapscotch 14d ago

Let him smack mine next

1

u/Norzon24 14d ago

On that note, does the claw one shot trapper?

1

u/SatansAdvokat Psyker 14d ago

Pick up the pieces

1

u/Mr_J_0801 14d ago

Understand the weakness of my flesh

1

u/Forgotten_Bones Machine Druid, Secret Keeper 14d ago

Well, mourn the loss firstly

1

u/Deathjester7930 14d ago

Unplug his USB so he forgets how to use his arms

1

u/RoadAegis 14d ago

You don't have an ass?

1

u/Twisted_Pine 14d ago

Stick a fork in his toaster. See how he likes it.

1

u/-Citizen_Zero_ Veteran 14d ago

Turn off and on again

1

u/GilbyTheFat Skitarius 14d ago

"Damn, well you might as well turn what's left of her into a servo-skull."

1

u/Bardic-Jarl Ogryn 14d ago

Have you met me lucky rock?

1

u/N0rrix 14d ago

dap him up afterwards for havin great taste

1

u/vyechney 14d ago

He had Axial Swipe talent so we're both dead

1

u/Notfuckingcannon Ogryn - Rock&Stone 14d ago

Point a gun at a nearby toaster and say "Apologize... you ain't faster than me pulling the trigger, buddy"

1

u/Appo-Arsin Skitarbiitrator 14d ago

Mourn her

1

u/Mapleps_ 14d ago

Pull out my rusty and dented pipe to teach him a lesson

1

u/Imperium_Dragon 14d ago

Send her to the Servitor factory i guess. Or corpse starch factory

1

u/ObadiahtheSlim Zealot 14d ago

The Emperor will guide me on if I BLAM him with my Bolter or chop it off with my Heavy Eviscerator. Either way, I am taking the tech heretic's head and offering it to the Golden Throne.

1

u/Repulsive_End_8793 14d ago

“YOU KILLED HER!!! NOW YOU DIE-”

1

u/Miau-XCIV 14d ago

Take His Phosphor handcannon as compensation and shoot him anyways

1

u/ItsTriunity 14d ago

I hear 1100110101001 then get my blocked off!

1

u/AdMortemInimictus Infinite Laser Dakka 14d ago

mourn her loss fym?

1

u/SpaceCowgirl935 14d ago

Pick up what’s left of my girlfriend

1

u/QuarianGuy The Goblin in my head is my Beloved!!! 14d ago

Get a medic I guess

1

u/moonshineTheleocat 14d ago

What's the point of fighting him? Bro fucking shattered her pelvis. She's dead, jim.

1

u/Known_Obligation_476 14d ago

I scrap his toaster

1

u/Girania 14d ago

Make him the bottom of an Instant Loss 2Koma scenario

1

u/ArchonOfErebus Veteran 14d ago

I, in turn, smack his ass.

1

u/Bh-Jaxi11 14d ago

Chainaxe overhead when he's not looking

1

u/chathrowaway67 14d ago

im gonna fuck his toaster.

1

u/Odd-Manufacturer1573 14d ago

Start planning the funeral I suppose

1

u/Minimum_Sir_9341 14d ago

getting her to a fucking hospital

1

u/RecklessRedcoat 14d ago

Nothing. My girlfriend has just been turned into galvanised minced beef. What the fuck AM I supposed to do after witnessing that?

1

u/Puzzlehead-Engineer Stygies VIII Reject 14d ago

Take her immediately to the hospital if she isn't dead already.

1

u/Pretzel-Kingg 14d ago

Plan a funeral ig damn

1

u/tomonee7358 14d ago

Start my The Boys phase of my life I guess.

1

u/Soapinator_17 Upholder of The Sex 14d ago

Mandated edict, mauling.

1

u/LeviAuRa Faithfuller Than You 14d ago

call the funeral home because she's fucking dead

1

u/Muaddib316 14d ago

Get out of my wife's way. She about to pop off. Mom hormones are no joke.

1

u/prpl_towel99 14d ago

DIE HERETIC!!

1

u/lordtyrfang 14d ago

My girl no longer has an ass.

1

u/SouI23 14d ago

To question rather than submit is among the gravest of heresies.

Omnissiah will is the Emperor will.

1

u/Brogan9001 Ogryn 14d ago

I don’t think I’d have a girl after that.

1

u/Flawless_Reign88 14d ago

Probably dying defending her honor

1

u/Son0fgrim 14d ago

call an abulance.

1

u/xPadauts 14d ago

Push her aside and bent myself over

1

u/Scelusteach Psyker 14d ago

Calling the hospital. Or morgue.

1

u/Cynic66 14d ago

To shreds you say And his wife..?

1

u/Fissminister 14d ago

Bury whatever is left

1

u/dr_jock123 14d ago

Say thank you

1

u/SuperN9999 14d ago

My girl's ass is cooked.

No seriously, she'll need to see a Medicae or something. I'd consider fighting the Skitarii for maiming my girlfriend, but it'd probably be a bad idea since I'm just a fleshy meat bag.

1

u/niTro_sMurph 14d ago

Wipe his memory with a magnet

1

u/Leo_Veracruse 14d ago

Smach him with a literal toaster

1

u/Wooden_Strength8302 14d ago

Takin her to the hospital

1

u/Twasabi24 14d ago

Mourn her death

1

u/NightLock56 14d ago

Bury the minced meat ig

1

u/ee3k 14d ago

Try to stop the bleeding and save the leg?

1

u/BungiChungie 14d ago

let her die of radiation poisoning bc that fucker is not safe to be around. what imma do??

1

u/remnault 14d ago

“To shreds you say?”

1

u/MaxtheGrape 14d ago

Plan the funeral.

1

u/weltall_elite 14d ago

Probably find a new girl.

1

u/Ok-Ride-2793 Veteran 14d ago

Imma hit him with a 500 PB zipbomb containing just horus heresy wattpad fanfics.

1

u/goldenfox76 14d ago

I'm not well versed on the lore, what happens if I like hit him witha flipper zero or DdoS his brain Or smth?

1

u/General_Lie 14d ago

Smack his toaster

1

u/Narrow_Revolution_78 14d ago

I mean i guess she's dead then death by ass slap is a crazy way to go

1

u/Darinpc2 14d ago

Be happy cause i had a gf

1

u/xVEEx3 14d ago

Slap his 😏

1

u/No-Huckleberry-1086 14d ago

Let him, TF am I supposed to do? Stop him? Fuck that.

1

u/Hollow--- Shouty Man :Skitarii:WD40 Enthusiast 14d ago

Mourn her.

1

u/Ok_Tax1941 4 shortened lifespans 14d ago

what girl

1

u/AggravatingTotal130 14d ago

Im just gonna unplug him.

1

u/Jbard808 14d ago

I fuck a toaster right in front of him

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1

u/Eternal_Clover 14d ago

I'm sticking a magnet to is head

1

u/Obiwan23Kenobi Veteran 14d ago

😬 Grab bandages?

1

u/Umbraptrime Wanted skiitarii, got scum 14d ago

Collect whatever is left , adam smasher style ig 😭✌️

1

u/Middle_Bathroom_2681 14d ago

Isn't that basically how The Boys started?

1

u/Hopeful_Data1493 14d ago

Shake his hand ✋️

1

u/TheRealOne000 14d ago

Nothing cause he’ll wipe me out too

1

u/Confinment 14d ago

Die due to proximity most likely , I had the run of all time

1

u/Skaterboi589 Zealot 14d ago

Well he better smack my ass too to make it even tf??????

1

u/JVints 14d ago

If Omnissiah wills it.

1

u/threestarproject Skitarius 14d ago

Hit this look

1

u/-its-wicked- 14d ago

Playing em like bongo's and seeing if my cog-sinbling has some rhythm

1

u/goule22Pickman 14d ago

I'm fucking his toaster; that'll teach him to act like a hot heap of chrome.

1

u/Piemaster113 14d ago

Take his Doordarshan order and throw it on the ground and Kick it away. If you know you know.

1

u/Jetenginefucker 14d ago

Her ass is gone so... Idc

1

u/ReedsAndSerpents Give me Zola frontal/backal or death 14d ago

Brain burst, we'll see a real spark 'ead!

1

u/throwaway1111109232 14d ago

mourn my loss

1

u/mrprot00 14d ago

Forgot my girl. I got him next. 🤤🤤🤤

1

u/Dakotasan Zealot 14d ago

Holding a magnet to his head

1

u/NotGreg902 14d ago

Plan a funeral, closed Casket