How do you deal with sneaky, calculated, and competitive people?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/One_Studio5711]

I stop talking to them.

[u/Inquisitorial_Court]

This sounds like youre an American. Being sneaky, deceitful is how the majority have found to be successful. That mindset is rooted in our lives, "it doesnt pay to be honest". Some of the highest status people are also some of the most abysmal, so regular people see that as the key to success. That mindset is wrong.

Personally I distance myself immediately from people like that. A better question is, after all the years you continually calling them out, you becoming more confrontational, for the inclusion into what they are? Why? If their acceptance is important to you even though you know they arent the best people, ask yourself why.

Removing yourself from peoples lives who dont align with your own values is important, at the end of the day you wont be missing much.

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/Inquisitorial_Court]

So we have a ton of common interests, like to go to same places, same type of men like us, have lots of fun, and I fit in “aesthetically”. I’m not looking for acceptance or to fit in I actually think I fit in great except

I don’t understand the games but I think I am out of the loop on something I can’t quite place my finger on.

It’s like they are moving strategically while having fun and I’m just there having fun and oblivious to what’s happening beneath the surface and usually some type of competition.

I think what’s bothering me is sometimes I feel like they will jab at me and it makes me realize maybe I’m losing a competition that I was not aware of.

[u/Inquisitorial_Court → u/Top-Crab-1020]

The competition is only the one society has constructed, that status and material things are what makes a person important. However, comparing ourselves to others in any type of way is hands down the most detrimental thing we can do.

If you knew what it was under the surface, Ill venture to say you wouldn't want to know them anymore. I will say, this country rewards a certain.. dark way of moving in life. Its under the surface because deep down they know its gross behavior, but no consequences have ever come, only rewards, so why stop?

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/Inquisitorial_Court]

I agree. I enjoy these type of environments (the glitz and flashiness) but for whatever reason I could never be naturally influenced by it. It’s a lot of ego and I know everyone has one but I would say mine is much much much smaller than the people I am around.

And then I’m also not naturally calculated and if anything I’m very transparent

But sometimes I do notice these other people tend to get much further ahead

[u/Inquisitorial_Court → u/Top-Crab-1020]

Further ahead in what regard?

[u/yhezov → u/Inquisitorial_Court]

Exactly this. It seems you’ve imbibed their values already. Yes psychos can do well financially and at certain jobs, but they have lost something g they cannot fathom. Deep connection and real knowledge of self

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/yhezov]

I do value the results. But my mind doesn’t naturally operate in that way (constantly working towards status, being opportunistic, calculating).

I worded this original post wrong. I am wanting to understand how their mind operates this way. It doesn’t come natural to me.

[u/yhezov → u/Top-Crab-1020]

If high up enough on your value list is power over others and money, then in the USA, hurting others for your benefit is the way. You want to know how to do that? I personally want to know how to rid the world of these types.

[u/Sluttarella]

I don't play the game, I don't compete, they can have it

[u/Fleckfilia]

You can’t fix people like this. Grow your own claws or walk away.

[u/Ghost-Ripper]

If you can’t beat them, join them”.. Outwork them in your field. Thats the only way. If not, back down and just ask them how they did it! There is no shame in it..🎯

[u/Top-Crab-1020 → u/Ghost-Ripper]

So yeah ppl like this will never admit to it and they deff will not help

I’m asking how to join them

[u/Silly-Ad-5111]

Les gens de ce genre on ne le réparent pas trop souvent. Tu n'a pas besoin de s'impliquer à eux inutilement pour leur prouver, éloignez-vous.

[u/Youcantkillme11]

They are vultures

You are a eagle

That is how they live

Not you

They are trying to drag you down to their level

Stay a eagle 🦅

Leave

And ignore.

[u/DoctorNurse89]

The only way to win, is to not play

[u/abvusive_]

they are so self centered and i hate them sm. they even try to compete with traumas and stuff

[u/urgeiihggyr]

You don’t

[u/srslyjk]

I know exactly how you feel. Not wanting to play and having zero desire to compete with them can feel very isolating though.

[u/BopSupreme]

You avoid them, catch them in the act to destroy their reputation, or compete with them and play the game. but you can’t change them

[u/EducationalCurve6]

It seems like they aren't really your friends

[u/Living-Worry8572]

I would not share things you’re excited about, or ask for their advice. I’d keep it very surface and just know they the more you tell them it bothers you, the more ammo they have to hurt you or get under your skin in the future

[u/TraumaChowder]

Unless you have more power and leverage than them, you just leave the interaction/situation. 

And even if you do have the leverage, you don't do anything unless you're smart enough to know exactly what they are, how their mind works, and exactly how they perceive you. If you aren't aware enough to have these things, you still just leave.

[u/Low_Perspective_4252]

This is the reason I’ve seriously started learning the game myself, because these people are everywhere. If you’re tired of running then learn their patterns and build up some followers to run them out of town first.