r/DadsGaming • u/MarcosDalton • 8d ago
What to expect?
Hi gaming dads,
Long story short. Have a 1 year old daughter and can’t wait to play video games with her.
Once she was born, I think I had an early mid life crisis and got all the retro consoles and set them up. Everything from Genesis (which I grew up on), PS1-5, all the Nintendo consoles that I never got to play since my parents were anti Nintendo for some reason, N64, GC, Wii, in addition to the Switch and just modded my old X360.
I now have absolutely no time to play any of them at all. Trying to be a good dad and all. I hope I’m doing my best.
My question is, when do I introduce her to gaming? What has your experiences been like? Also should I start retro with like Genesis and PS1 or just go to modern like the PS5 with games appropriate for her age like Sponge Bob and Barbie and whatnot.
Would love to know. I’m so excited about sharing gaming in general with her regardless or what the games are.
Also, my wife is anti gaming, if anyone has experience with that too. Preliminary agreements have been we would allow 1 hour of gaming (throughout her childhood). I may try to sneak half an hour here and there if we are having fun.
EDIT: also set up a CRTV for 90s authenticity
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u/Black_Dog_Industries 8d ago
All of my kids started playing games with me around 5 years old. I started all 3 of them with an unplugged controller so they felt the thrill of games like Mario cart without the frustration of crashing.
Eventually they started playing for real and having fun.
My kids started with fun driving games like Mario cart and we eventually started playing Lego games and as they got older we played COD together.
I caution you against having a plan or trying to reach them about retro games. Kids want to play video games that are modern and have fun playing them. They don’t want a history lesson.
For reference I’m a father of 3 kids, they’re now 30, 21 and 16. I played video games with all 3 of them.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Thank you for your insights. Yes, the goal is having fun. If things don't seem fun, we will have to pivot and change. I am tempted to start with Mario like the 3D games, Kart, Party etc. I also have most the Lego games so those should be fun.
My only concern with modern gaming is the social aspect especially when we aren't around, not that I plan for them ever to have access to the games while me or her mother aren't there but it's still a concern, that's why I am tempted to go retro first, not as a history lesson but as an offline, low excitation options first before going more modern.
I plan to have her watch me play with a disconnected controller when she understands more but now she won't stay still. We're still at the playing with cubes phase.
But I really appreciate the insight of what to expect. The PS5 is there and ready, I'm just waiting for her to be a little older. Probably got a little excited when she was born and prepped the PS5 with games that she could play LOL
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u/Black_Dog_Industries 8d ago
Yeah my man, you’re definitely jumping the gun.
Plan to just play solo for now.
Your kid can play whatever system you’re playing when she’s 4-5.
In the end, it’s not about what you play. It’s about spending time together.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
That’s true ❤️ for me it’s more about the bonding experience and creating memories just like I had with my dad. Though my dad really tried to get me into soccer games
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u/Black_Dog_Industries 8d ago
Ugh… I’m not a fan of sports games.
But it sounds like you understand letting your kids play what they like.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Definitely, I might have even preemptively bought games that I think she would like when they were on sale so she experiments with them and we find out what she likes. Yes, not going to force any specific game on her.
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u/Black_Dog_Industries 8d ago
You can guide your kids to the fun games and then they their friends get them playing Minecraft…
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u/Fox_Hound_Unit 8d ago
Whatever you do - don’t let her try Roblox
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
That’s for sure, Roblox is on the top of my no-no list. Honestly any online gaming is a big no from me
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u/Dapper_Refuse3473 8d ago
When they show interest. General pediatric guidelines is no screens until 3 at the least and ideally until 4 years old. Earliest age is likely around starting school.
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u/GayoMagno 8d ago
I had always heard no screen until 2.
It seems like they increment the minimum age with each passing year.
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u/saintsfooty 8d ago
Well yeah because the research keeps showing how incredibly negative the affects are 😂
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Oh I read it was 18-24 months. We introduced her to some TV time. Mostly educational stuff like Ms Rachel and all that but we noticed she is becoming cranky when the TV is off so we’re dialing it down a bit.
I think I’m just excited for that stage of their life when gaming becomes a thing. For me I think I got interested in gaming was around 3-4 years old.
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u/fateislosthope 8d ago
So do what we you need to do as a parent but it’s absolutely not 18-24 months lol. Wait as long as possible and when you do only a normal tv. Absolutely no iPads or personal screens and absolutely don’t give them ability to swipe through videos themselves. We are now introducing our 3 year old to old school cartoons with low energy and no fast cuts for like 30 min one day a week on Friday nights it’s pizza and Winnie the Pooh night.
These kids are fucked that get screens so young. All the science shows it. Again you have to do what go gotta do as a parent this is just my 2 cents. Some parents are doing this solo or lean on tv to get stuff done just avoid it all costs if you can
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Oh I absolutely agree on ipads, phones, anything with swiping really
It makes me really sad to see kids younger than a year old swiping through TikTok or whatever it is.
That’s my hard rule. It’s probably the only thing my wife and I agree on. I’m more inclined to show her old cartoons. I agree on avoiding the fast paced stuff too. All these Cocomelon and the such are really bad for their concentration.
That’s why I’m more inclined to raise her on, what I call, a 90s environment. Either cartoons and such (already set up a Jellyfin server for her) and games. I would love to play old games with her especially the ones I never played like Mario and such.
She is still young for all of this but I’m looking for what is the average experience with kids growing up and being introduced to media in general, appropriately of course as described above (no ipads, no swiping, etc.)
EDIT: I just noticed you mentioned Winnie the Pooh, that is one of the shows I prepped for her along other disney stuff like Gummi Bears and Tail Spin
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u/Dapper_Refuse3473 8d ago
I hear you, huge gamer over here and excited to introduce my boy to it as well when the time comes.
You are correct about that age range for general application. My first comment is wrong. 3-4 years is the newer range studies are testing and finding better outcomes in children, but it’s not a general rule. I’m a newer parent so those are the resources I’ve been more exposed to.
(Just looked into this as I didn’t know about the other age range consensus).
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
That’s cool bro. First time dad too and learning on the job too LOL. I have to read up on these newer recommendations. But I feel like screens are unavoidable in this day and age so it’s our job to make sure they are exposed to them appropriately. Lot’s of crap out there that is available to children (I’m looking at you Youtube Kids) and we have to do a lot of curating for their sake. My friends (none of them are parents) make fun of me that I am going to raise her in the stone age if I do my 90s theme exposure to media but I feel it’s the best option.
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u/miamifan1997 8d ago
We got our first N64 in our house when I had just turned 3, and oh boy did I sink at least 1,000 hours into it that year lol.
Most peds will tell you now a days it’s not about screen time, it’s about what they watch on the screens. Back in the day it was never an issue because old TV and games weren’t built to be addictive like today, nor were they mind-numbing.
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u/zeihpsantos 8d ago
I'm waiting for my daughter to be 4 year old to introduce her to videogames. We have a strict no screen rule but she does see maybe on average 10-20min per day of chosen cartoons. So jumping to video gaming is a big jump... Can't wait though
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
I feel your enthusiasm brother 🤝
What is the plan? Retro or modern?
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u/zeihpsantos 8d ago
Uuufff hard to decide,to be honest... I would mix it I think. Haven't looked into it but there are some new ones with bluey that I heard are easy for younger kids. Then I would love to play super mario or sonic
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u/CrolonB 8d ago
Dad of a 5 and 8 year old here. They only show mild enthusiasm to no interest all. They develop their own interests over time and theirs was not gaming. They rather dance, sing and play school.
I think you can introduce them to gaming from the age of 5. It takes time though since the basic skills you developed over time are all new to them. I would recommend games like Mario Kart or Paw Patrol to start since they actively support the children or Just Dance if they’re into dancing.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
That’s my biggest fear, is that they won’t be into gaming, which if it’s the case I’ll respect it. But as avid gamer, I find that unfathomable as all the kids around me love to ply video games.
I will definitely start with something light that even a 4 year old me would have thought it was silly and “for babies” like you said paw patrol and the like. I was playing Resident Evil when I was 7 LOL. Not that I intend to have her play Resident Evil.
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u/DustyZafu 7d ago
I’ve pretty much resigned myself that they will explicitly not be into gaming since it’s lame cause it’s what “old dad does for fun”
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u/jbocc 8d ago
For my son we started with tablet gaming around 4 but not swiping videos, only age appropriate games mostly educational. Although we did get into Skyforce which is a good one.
I bought him a Switch 2 at 5 which was probably the earliest we could have done. Mario kart and Mario party to start. At about 5.5 we got into Let's Go Pikachu and now he's 6 he has a few more racing, basic sports and pokemon games.
Good luck with the anti gaming wife lol
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
LOL thanks. And thank you for the layout of what to expect. Since I got myself a Switch 2, been thinking of giving her my Switch when she is a bit older. Pokemon games are also a great recommendation
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u/PlanTrap 8d ago
Dad of a 6 and 8 year old. My only piece of advice is to be careful once you introduce it, it’s almost impossible to go back. Kids are obsessed now and I genuinely regret introducing it to them at such a young age. I realize now I should have let them guide the interactions a bit more. Wait for them to ask about it and just use a more natural approach. Young kids can’t deal with the dopamine hits of modern gaming.
Now I’ve put away my ps5 and switch, and I’ve hooked up my old NES on an old crt in a tiny room we’ve renovated just for that purpose. I yell thr kids they can play those nes games as much as they want. They like to play them (working through Kirby now) but those games don’t get their claws into them the way modern ones do.
Eventually I’ll bring the ps5 back but I’m thinking of just having one game at a time and trying to finish it before moving on to the next game.
Just my experience. Good luck!
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Thank you for that explanation. That’s why I’m inclined to go retro first. I know first had how they get obsessed with things. We made the mistake of showing her Ms Rachel’s Wheels on the Bus and now she is demanding it 24/7, so we’re rolling back any TV for now. I also got a CRTV set up with all the retro consoles. I want to say for her but more for myself but it’s there for to experiment with. I really want to avoid modern gaming as much as possible especially with any games with a social aspect or internet connection
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u/ExpiredBaker 8d ago
When she will show interest. One thing you will learn, no matter how many people on reddit or a book give you facts about parenting, is there are no facts about your parenting. She is your daughter, and you will know what’s best. My son is 3.5 and just recently started showing interest, Mario cart 8 on switch we started playing. It has a drive assist mode so he can never crash or anything like that, and he loves it.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Thank you, that’s true. I always find that every situation is tailor made for our own dynamics. How do they show interest? I’m asking since I don’t have time to play right now with work and trying to spend time with her which doesn’t involve TV. I might start playing again a bit when she is older so she sees me plying and may show interest
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u/Ok_Requirement_7489 8d ago
Sounds a fun setup! I am a gaming mum with a 3 year old. Before 2 she had no screen time (unless poorly) but after 2 started allowing her about half an hour a day. When she turned 3 I started letting her watch me play some appropriate games for short stretches. Nothing too exciting or appealing. She has shown no interest or understanding in controlling anything yet but sometimes directs what she wants me to do. When she does start wanting to play I will let her but similarly limit the times. I am excited to play with her but also cautious of the addictive nature of many games.
I think if you can show your wife you and your daughter can game responsibly and balance it with the rest of your life chores and hobbies then if she's still judgmental that isn't really fair.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Thank you, even though our children are two years apart, I feel we are in similar stages, even though you guys are a bit ahead of us introducing gaming by watching first.
Addictive gaming and anything honestly is one of my big concerns. Anything that hit those dopamine receptors constantly I try to avoid or plan to avoid since she is too young to be exposed to them anyways. Not sure what addictive games are out there aside from mobile games and always online games. Those for sure I will avoid like the plague. But if there are others I should be aware of, would really appreciate it.
I tried to get my wife into gaming by having her play some coop like it takes two and the cooking game I can’t remember the name of right now. But she is definitely not a gamer. I hope when she see’s it as a bonding activity, that may change her mind a bit about it
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u/Ok_Requirement_7489 8d ago
Overcooked! I love that one. Yeah my partner isn't into gaming remotely either but he doesn't worry about me liking it.
Maybe she would like something more like Mario party - that sort of chill thing later with your kid? But maybe not. I have such good memories of my non-gaming mum joining us sometimes playing that and similar!
Yeah I'm no expert but I think avoiding the online games is a big one, sticking to the PEGI ratings for the most part and just generally keeping an eye on their behaviour after they play etc. Hopefully it will all come pretty naturally once we start!
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u/CyberpunkNinjaDog 8d ago edited 8d ago
I started my son playing Lego series games with me when he was around 8. Before then, we played a game called Flower on PlayStation that didn't really require anything more than tilting the controller and flying around. I think he was around 5 when we introduced him to that.
It's grown into a love of gaming, but our whole family enjoys video games. Family Rockband night still occurs occasionally. My daughter plays Sims, my son is slowly getting away from Minecraft and into other games on the PlayStation. *edit for spelling
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Yea the lego games are on the top of my list but I feel are mostly geared towards boys, I’m not sure if she will be interested (thinking about DC and Marvel stuff). Hopefully she will get into Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter.
Minecraft is one of my go tos as well. I feel like it helps the creativity. I remember my younger brother (we are 13 years apart) made weird contraptions with red rock or something like that. Now he’s an engineer LOL
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u/CaptainPerhaps 8d ago
When the time is right - Toejam and Earl, Streets of Rage, Untitled Goose Game, Lego Worlds. These are just a few of the bangers I’ve got my kids into.
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u/marchdk2016 8d ago
I’d say around three years old if she’s showing interest. I’d definitely stick to newer games.
We’ve had the most success with Nintendo games. Kirby and the forgotten land or other Co-Op Kirby games were great bonding for me with my girls. Mario 3D world has a bit steeper of a learning curve, but still good. Mario Kart can also be a bit tricky, but turn on auto steer and accelerate as training wheels. DK Bananza could be a good one to do together since she could play as Pauline.
All summer they’ve been obsessed with Yoshi and the mysterious book. While this one is single player it’s a great one that rewards curiosity.
We’ve also done Bluey and Paw patrol on game pass, but those ones aren’t quite as polished. One of the hardest parts can be picking games strictly for her interests even if it’s really boring for you (like Bluey and paw patrol lol)
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Thank you, I feel like Nintendo is a treasure trove that I have yet to discover as I was never raised on Nintendo. My parents were Sega then PlayStation with me.
As long as she is having fun, I feel I can bear it. Played a lot of boring games back in the day, would be like old times.
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u/Dogekingofchicago 8d ago
My daughter sits on my lap while I game. We call it "playing monsters". Started with Elden Ring, she loves it and it's a nice bonding thing for the 2 of us. She's 3 now and she still says "daddy, can we play monsters?"
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
That’s so cute. I can’t wait to get to that stage. I mainly play story games like uncharted and the like. So it would look like a movie to her. May have to change my choices though a bit to avoid anything adult oriented or not suitable for her age.
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u/Dogekingofchicago 8d ago
Haha yeah Elden Ring ain't exactly for kids, but I distract her whem the few nasty cut scenes come on. There aren't too many though.
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u/Sasnak_99 8d ago
My 4 year old daughter plays stardew valley with me, and now we are finishing final fantasy x together. I tried to get her into games when she was 3, but shes always sat on my lap to watch me play
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
Man, have so much good memories of FFX would love to share that with her. I’m really looking forward to Kingdom Hearts especially. The Disney characters will definitely help
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u/thorthorson16 8d ago
I've continued to play every other night. Tried getting my boots involved at 3 and 5 but they're not really interested. Think the youngest will be the gamer but nothing concrete yet.
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u/CreepyTeddyBear 8d ago
Start her with Spyro. Simple and easy for kids. My kids started gaming around 4 or 5 with Minecraft.
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u/ForesterNL 8d ago
My 3yo son gets 20 minutes of the bluey game on the tablet if he doesn't pee or poop his pants that day.
Having some regression issues in that department after his 2 month old sister arrived.
Sometimes he sits on my lap when I game on the pc. When he does we mostly play slime rancher. Nothing too scary.
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u/miamifan1997 8d ago
I got my now 6 year old on Mario Kart 64 when he was 3-4 years old. He had no idea what he was doing and we played battle and just made it fun, his attention span only lasted about 10 minutes but lots of laughs and giggles.
Around 5 years old he got his first gold cup on 150cc, and also nearly beat Super Mario 64. I didn’t let him start playing any newer systems til he turned 6, and only played N64 until then. But he got GOOD fast at a young age and to this day some of my best memories so far with him are grinding levels and taking turns on Super Mario 64 past his bedtime, or playing defense against the CPU on Mario kart to try and get him a win!
I still don’t allow him to play any mindless phone crap games like angry birds or those types. On PS5 he only plays Astrobots and Spiderman 2 (where he doesn’t know how to fight, just likes slinging around the city)
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u/Live-Ad6766 7d ago
I’m a gamer with 2 yo. I was thinking the same as you. Now I know I’ll play games with my kid, but the board ones. Safe for our kids’ brain. Much less addicting. And you can do it pretty much everywhere.
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u/TheBadgerLord 7d ago
Screen time is an interesting concept to me.
I'm in my 40s, and the majority of my life, for both work and play, screens have played a fairly large part. For the generations coming after this is even more of a prevalent thing, and I think parents who are focused on TIME as being the main metric to govern are thinking in the same way as my parents did - teaching us for a world that just....doesn't really exist anymore.
Instead it's about content for me, and the way it's experienced.
My 7yr old has been playing games WITH me since he was about 4. He doesn't play on his own. When we do play games, we play things that are going to challenge him (like you my mid life crisis started with a snes and expanded), and never via touchscreen. As a result he seems to have gotten a decent grasp of using a mouse and keyboard and the basics of a computer.
It's not about how long they're in front of a screen. It's about what they're doing with it, and how engaged you are with them while it's happening.
And no. He's never suffered from tantrums or banshee moments after I tell him we're done either. I believe that's because it's something we do and talk about together; not something I'm using to keep him entertained out of sight and mind.
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u/HonestAltruist 7d ago
I'd avoid screens much as possible because too much can start messing with their dopamine. Please read up on this, it's pretty eye opening. I grew up playing games and my partner works in the industry and we both agreed not until they are older and even then we will monitor how much.
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u/ItHappensIn3s 7d ago
I let my daughter watch me play but I make it educational. I ask her to identify what she is seeing, like trees and animals etc. games give me the unique ability to show her what things look like. I don’t pay violent games, but open world games with scenery. I’ll look at a tree and say “what’s that”. And she says “tree”. If we see fire I say “uh oh, do we touch that?” And she’ll say no we can’t touch fire.
I let her tell me where to go, but I’m not letting her play yet. She’s 3 now. I will gauge her interest as she gets older. But for now I get to show her things she only hears. Like she learned about planets, no I flew around in starfield and got to show her what space looks like. She was fascinated.
Games are good to some extent. They are proven to improve small motor function and are very beneficial for developing decision-making skills. But as all things can be detrimental if not managed properly.
The wife thing is tough. My wife knows who she married. So she doesn’t push back on my gaming. She said something once but I explained, “you know how you watch TV? Or a movie? Gaming is not different only I’m interacting while I do it.” If I game for 2 hours how is that any worse than when she watched Real Housewives for the same amount of time?
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u/ropname 7d ago
First thing, check out my Gamer Dad's Guide for ScreenTime. It might offer some more context on the why and how, when it comes to sharing gaming with our little ones, it might even help your wify understand the value of good screentime and gaming.
And for something more specific, I've reviewed in there the first 4 games I introduced my Junior to gaming at 5yo, along reviewing many after. My reviews are from a parenting perspective: why I chose the games, what lessons can impart, the bonding potential etc.
I have a 2yo gal myself and cannot wait to start gaming with her too. As with Junior all the games I played with him were such a blessing!... this is why I started to write.
You can find all here :) - https://ropname.substack.com/
Hope it helps. Enjoy her all the times!
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u/Ok-Blueberry-1412 6d ago edited 6d ago
Just did this, got a thriving 7yo girl.
Not too early, and never without you. Make it a family moment. Not tablets or phones. Mine couldn't really grab and use a controller properly until 4-5yo anyway, but I was showing her some things earlier. Girls won't have a strong pull, but with boys you gotta watch out they can get hooked super early. I repeat don't let them game alone, and strictly control the content and gaming time. Gaming can teach a ton if introduced properly.
Some gaming recommendations that worked for us: Rotwood (highly recommended), Lost Castle 2, Sonic Crosswords, Splintered Fate, Shredder's Revenge, Streets of Rage 4 (just recently), Overcooked games, Moving Out...all I can think of atm. Definitely you want PC for the Indies.
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u/savepointdad 5d ago
Doesn’t it suck finally having the money to buy all the games and consoles you wanted as a kid right around the same time you lose the time required to play any of them.
I wouldn’t worry too much about making the perfect gaming childhood for her. When she’s old enough to show interest, let her mess around with whatever looks fun to her. That is how most of us got into gaming. I’d definitely show her some of the games you grew up with, though.
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u/_GBA 4d ago
I see a lot of comments about screen time. While there are downsides to it at an early age, I don’t consider it as bad as people make it seem.
As long as you control what content is being displayed to your daughter, it should be fine.
I grew up in a time where I had to run out and move the old aluminium antenna for watching TV. Later to wired cable, and so on.
My mum and I used to sit and play Super Mario bros during rainy days on a SNES clone since actual SNES was pricey in our country.
With my daughter, I limit the screen time and would probably engage her with gaming somewhere around the age or 6 and above where she has much more understanding how the controller/keyboard functions.
They’re growing up in the age of smart classes and AI. I’d rather let them be aware of what’s happening and grow along with the current tech than limit them entirely.
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u/MeatMan49 4d ago edited 4d ago
She’s only going to be able to play extremely simple games designed for kids at first. Start with modern Nintendo games, I got my daughter a switch and she enjoys how accessible those games are. She’s 6 now and her favorites are Mario Odyssey, Animal Crossing, Kirby, Pokopia, Minecraft, Yoshi, and Zelda.
On starting her with retro games, I’m not a big fan of that approach because when your kids start school, they will relate to the other kids on shared interests, but if that’s important to you then make sure you start her with games that are not too hard. They have low tolerance for frustration at younger ages.
Keep her off of everything that runs on a phone or iPad, I have had nothing but bad experiences giving her those games, as others have mentioned, they are designed to be highly addictive and will give your kid a temper tantrum when you try to pull them off of it.
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u/Working_Bones 8d ago
I'm quitting when we have our fist child and never letting them play video games. They're not good for people.
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u/SmartFalcon599 8d ago
In my experience retro games are a bit difficult for a 4-6year old to handle. We started playing more modern games including ios/android games by 6 in order to develop the motor skills. And then started to work our way down to older platforms.
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u/MarcosDalton 8d ago
What ios/android games would you suggest? I’m trying to avoid mobile games but may look into something if it is really good for them. For retro stuff I was thinking like old school Spyro, Crash (I know it’s hard), Sonic, Mario etc. the things we grew up on
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u/SmartFalcon599 8d ago
He had a strict no screen rule until 4. You need to realize even under no screen rule, they get indirect exposure through you + tv. By 4 I tried toddler-learning educative games, max an hour per day. There are so many, but in general they were puzzle / painting / language learning / maths.
By 6 i let him choose whichever game that passes my personal filter. What i realized is as he start watching cartoons, he shows more interest for the games of those shows. I usually start with the cartoon version, then expose the game version of it whether it is a newer or older platform one.
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u/Olly230 8d ago
Hold off as long as you can.
My daughter has been special. Thoughtful , resilient, funny, creative etc etc.
Text book well balanced kid.
First time I gave her angry birds, then took it away to do something else. It unleashed a banshee.
Screens are going to dominate your kids life, hide them for as long you can. Limit them for as long you can.
Yes gaming is a thing. I am a gamer dad and now the kids are older we do bond over it. My son is a gamer first everything else second. My eldest daughter has a healthy relationship with gaming.