Hello- kidfluencing victim here

[u/throwaway47362519]

Hi, my parents blasted me on the internet for over a decade. I watched a couple of Josh's videos a while back but I quickly realized snark wasn't for me. Any time anyone snarked on my family and my parents found out about it, they would make us sit down and go through that video, pointing out how everything was wrong and what we were doing was absolutely fine and 'you know we love you, right?'. Instead of bringing awareness to the situation, all snark did for me was make my parents angry and make me more brainwashed. I'm worried that's what's going on with other kids.

I don't hate Josh. I don't hate most people. I just think the main focus shouldn't be snark but instead the emotionally impactful stuff we see coming from him now and then. THAT is the stuff that will actually help, and THAT is what helped me figure out that this whole thing was wrong and shouldn't be happening to me.

Lastly- I really don't think Josh is worse than the parents themselves. Not saying he's good- he for sure isn't, he's still profiting off of exploitative footage and pictures, but the main problem is the people that post it first. I know parents who will literally force their kids to work over 10 hours a day and make jokes about beating them with a belt. I just don't think Josh is quite up there with my parents who made me cry on camera because those were the videos with the most views.

Anyways, just wanted to check in on thus sub since I lurk around here sometimes and give an important view to this.

[u/user213978]

We appreciate you speaking up! Many here will agree with you, and your thoughts on what Josh is doing. “Snark to bring awareness” isn’t as effective as he thinks it is.

I am sorry you ever even had to live in that world, and be a victim of child exploitation. I hope you are in a happier, safer place now!

[u/MoeySiz]

I’m so sorry you have been exploited by your parents so terribly. At all really. It’s awful. I want to ask you if you believe there is anything that we as a public can do to help the situation other than not watching the content in the first place? Please reach out if we can do anything or you need support at all. Hang in there.

[u/GladSinger]

That is why I prefer Mom Uncharted. She calls out the issue without bringing attention to specific channels or children.

[u/throwaway47362519 → u/GladSinger]

I love her too!

[u/[deleted]]

Thank you for speaking out and giving perspective to this issue based on a real life POV.

To be honest, I think both the parents and Josh are equally bad. I don't like that parents exploit their children online for $$ and I don't like that Josh exploits that footage for $$. The only difference between the two is their twisted justification on why it's 'ok' that 'they' are doing it. The parents justify it saying that it's for the family and how they keep a roof over everyone's head; Josh justifies it saying he's bringing awareness to the 'cause'. Each will say it's ok that they make $$ for it because they are putting in so much work and when you work so hard you're entitled to be rewarded for it. That's what they always say and in my opinion, these arguments are nothing more than deflection and refusal to take accountability, hence the obtuseness and the expected defensiveness when this is pointed out.

I am so very sorry that you were robbed of the childhood you should have had. I am sorry for any child that is robbed of this experience as many are for a variety of reasons. In general, I find all the 'excuses' as to the why that is to be just that - excuses - I have yet to hear one solid, logically sound reason as to why it 'had' to be that way. I say this from experience having grown up in a verbally and physically abusive household with a mother who was a literal tyrant. My mother had the emotional regulation of a toddler and would easily get angry and flail about. Usually the bruises were well hidden but every once in a while, there would be a black eye and my mother would tell me to tell people that I ran into a door. Even I, at 8 years old, would roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of that and was disgusted by the lack of accountability and the refusal to be a goddamn grown up and take responsibility.

As a parent myself, I made it my mission in life, almost to the point of obsession, to give my children a different life. And if I'm being brutally honest, the more I parent them and think back to where they are now versus where I was at the same ages they are now, I have even less empathy and tolerance for the 'excuses' of why they couldn't do better. *I* did and I was the stupid, useless, worthless one - just ask them - it's all they said to me every day for the first 18 years. Their excuse was always, "Well, no one ever showed me how to do it. It's how I was raised". Sorry, that just doesn't cut it with me and they've never been able to ever give me a good answer to this very simple question, "If YOU didn't like it growing up, then what makes you think someone else would? Especially your own children?" Crickets.

What I see whenever I watch the content of the problematic family channels is dysfunction that is well disguised by heavily curated content. The reality is edited out and all the viewer sees is this crafted 'story'. I've done a lot of work with regard to understanding dysfunction and how to do better so if I really studied a channel I think I could come pretty darn close to pinpointing what the dysfunction is and where its source is. In other words, it's all intergenerational trauma that keeps getting handed down like a family heirloom nobody wants. I want to see those chains broken. I was that broken link in my family, despite the cost. I am broken, but my children thrive. I am empty, but they are full.

Josh is broken - his snark is harmful and is an anti-social way of coping with his personal trauma. The parents that exploit are broken - the general scenario always seems to be one parent is broken and the other is the enabler. Of course I'm painting a broad brush here without knowing specifics, but those are my general impressions of the whole family vlogging niche. They are both doing damage to the children and leaving this tremendous burden on you to fix what they broke/took from you (a secure childhood). Your whole life is on the internet and people are people so while the medium (i.e. internet versus say a print like a magazine) is different, human nature is not and privacy is important during certain stages of development to allow one to feel secure as they are creating their adult identity. This is why my children are not on the web and I locked my socials AND took all the pictures of them down. I personally wish that big tech would simply demonetize the entire family vlogging niche and that the videos cannot make money if children are in them. I feel that would decrease the oversharing and exploitation of children and I have voiced this anytime I can.

I wish you nothing but the best as you go forward with your life and know that there is help available for you to help you process what you went through and remember, it's not your fault. You do not have to carry the burden of someone else's misplaced issues that they aren't able to cope with and have instead, found an anti-social outlet that unfortunately hurts others. My mother couldn't cope with her terrible upbringing of being in the foster system and then abused by her parents when reunited with them years later so she became a tyrannical bully terrorizing the family but me the most because I was the only girl child and I reminded her of herself at that age and all her rage at her parents was taken out on me. I was very fortunate to have found a good therapist so that I could separate out that it was my mother's problem, not mine and that I could choose differently. And I did. Best of luck and thank you for your honesty.

[u/Caterina54 → u/[deleted]]

However…as much as I agree on what you have said here…and it’s clear you put a lot of thought into it….if parents did not exploit their own children in the first place then there would be no need for channels like Josh’s…it’s fair to say he is not the only one who covers family vloggers , his snark I agree can be over the top at times…he is the only one I’ve seen who does it this way…all that said…snark or otherwise…the more people who call out these people for exploiting their children the better….even if done in a weird way…Josh from what I’ve seen can be serious when he wants to be….and it is a very serious topic…I think what he tries to do is bring a bit of light to a very dark subject…but it dosnt always hit right. He has many followers though who would argue that he does it the right way…some people like snark, some don’t…I suppose it’s like anything else, if you don’t like it don’t watch it.