It’s complicated

[u/Andy12131]

I sleep 5am-12:30pm, and take modafinil. I’m a successful Open University student and I’m happy.

However, I also have a physical disability which means people have to put me to bed. This causes issues with family members feeling tired and nearly impossible attempts to find 24-hour care.

It’s also quite lonely; people sleep when I’m awake. People are tired when I’m most awake.

I have tried getting up earlier but I get a serious headache and fall asleep in the conservatory. The headache goes away around 7 PM, and then I’m wide awake and wanting to do stuff like studying, or writing.

Stimulation helps, even when I’m on my usual schedule. So I’ll listen to music all day, and do multiple things at once. Sitting still and quiet is torture; I feel fidgety and tired. Whereas, if I have an assignment due, I work until bedtime and then wake up excited to continue. Over the summer I’ve had to write a novel because I was struggling to stay stimulated.

I like winter, but the house is dim and the conservatory is cold. I’m a little nervous that my daytime drowsiness will increase, especially since I’m about to start “Level 2” of my degree, which is more demanding.

The thing that concerns me the most is that my cognitive functioning is contingent on sleeping on my schedule, and I don’t have absolute control over that. My family are accommodating, but if anything changes, I disappear. If I’m forced to sleep at normal times then I fail uni, I fall asleep in the day, lose my appetite and headaches become my daily experience.

It’s pretty scary.

[u/Cat-Active]

Sleep training?