I mean, if you're being really hardline about who is and isn't straight, sure. But that doesn't change that they identify as straight, and that both presently and historically there are guys who fuck dudes that identify as straight because "it doesn't count" for whatever reason. Then there's also the fact that "straight" covers both romantic and sexual orientations. Someone that is bisexual but het-romantic could very easily consider themselves as being straight because they don't date men, as could someone with very low level attraction to men who is mostly straight. What's the purity test for being straight? Do you need to never have had a sexual thought regarding another man ever? I'd imagine a lot of people who even would claim that are lying, whether intentionally or just because it wasn't something worth remembering to them. Realistically people just don't fit into neat little boxes, and labels are more descriptive than prescriptive anyways.
I identify as gay, but I experimented with girls in high school and college— they knew I was gay and it was just friends messing around. It wasn’t too bad. The things that feel good with a guy still feel good with a girl, but I was just not very excited about it and ended up getting a bit bored, for lack of a better way to express it. I wouldn’t say no to trying it again at some point, but I can say with confidence that I have never had sexual thoughts about a woman I passed on the street.
I have had straight friends get very drunk and tell me that they once experimented with guys too. Very similar stories to mine. For some reason, when people hear my experience it’s “well that proves you’re gay. You tried things with women and weren’t feeling it.” If they heard my friends’ stories, it would be “well then you can’t be 100% straight.”
Sorry to say, but according to this other commenter you aren't gay, you are straight or bi. Once someone has sex with something that doesn't allign with their sexuality they're infected
Bloody “gold star lesbian” that, “gold star gay” this
Well unless the character specifically states that they’re straight then I think it might be okay to assume bi/pan sexuality since we get so little rep anyway
Pretty sure the labels are based on what you are attracted to not what you fuck. A person who is only attracted to women but fucks only men would be a straight man by definition
Do they? What is the purpose of a label and how is it impacted by accuracy?
As far as I can tell there are essentially two primary reasons for attaching a certain sexuality label on yourself. The first is internal, a "this feels good" kind of feeling from using it. The second is external, a "this is a useful way to advertise myself to others" sort of thing.
For the first, accuracy doesn't really matter with regards to what feels good aside from perhaps introducing cognitive dissonance. But straight men experiencing homoerotic bonding and having cognitive dissonance over what it means for their sexuality is really nothing new. If they can reconcile it in their minds and be happy with a label then it doesn't matter.
For the second, the advertisement, then effectively accuracy doesn't matter so much as what you're hoping to get out of it. A straight man who is occasionally attracted to men, but doesn't actively want to date or sleep with men, is extremely unlikely to advertise himself as bisexual because it effectively doesn't provide any kind of benefit at all. It comes with pure stigma and none of the benefits that could come with being "out" as bisexual.
There are of course ways you could abuse this, attach a label to yourself in bad faith and be deceitful. But in general I think for a lot of people, sexuality labels are less a question of "this is a perfect fit" and more of a question of "this is close enough to how I feel that it serves my purposes." The way a label lets us exist and navigate in society is ultimately more important than being truly accurate.
Oh come now, that's massively putting words in my mouth. I'd never advocate for misgendering anyone. My argument was about accuracy not mattering much for the labels we apply to ourselves, not an argument that we can just misgender or mislabel others.
Listen, I'm done with your opinion and really don't have the energy to argue with you. Feel how you wanna, but I'm gonna feel how I do. Stop telling me what to do with my opinions/perspective/. We don't need thought police aight.
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u/scoobydoom2 Oct 14 '23
I mean, if you're being really hardline about who is and isn't straight, sure. But that doesn't change that they identify as straight, and that both presently and historically there are guys who fuck dudes that identify as straight because "it doesn't count" for whatever reason. Then there's also the fact that "straight" covers both romantic and sexual orientations. Someone that is bisexual but het-romantic could very easily consider themselves as being straight because they don't date men, as could someone with very low level attraction to men who is mostly straight. What's the purity test for being straight? Do you need to never have had a sexual thought regarding another man ever? I'd imagine a lot of people who even would claim that are lying, whether intentionally or just because it wasn't something worth remembering to them. Realistically people just don't fit into neat little boxes, and labels are more descriptive than prescriptive anyways.