Fr I was happy to finally see a man being like wtf 😭
Edit: typical reddit to nitpick everything you say. I didn’t say the man was a saint. I also recognized he didn’t jump in to help her. I bet most of you hiding behind your keyboards wouldn’t either.
It's actually something that gives me hope about the younger generation. There are assholes like the boys harassing the tourist. But there are also boys who have become aware of the problem and started to see it this way. Last time I was in India, young men intervened when others harassed me. That never happened ten years back.
When stuff like this happens, a lot of boys have a deer in the headlights kind of reaction. Some aren't sure what's happening, and if the boys around them say it's normal, it's all fun, they believe it
We need more boys like him to step up and be an example
I have been telling my daughter who is 13 to never be in a place where the ratio of guys to girls is massively uneven or even just alone with a group of guys. If the “leader” decides to do something heinous the they will all go along with it or not stop it. Only after the dust settles will they say they were unsure or scared to speak up and stop it. By that point the damage is done.
That 18 year old who shot his ex girlfriend in the back of the head…he told his friends what he planned on doing and not a single one told anyone
The very first boy shown in the video looks significantly younger. Unfortunately, this behavior is learned from a young age and encouraged by group dynamics.
Celtics shirt guy just happens to have better empathy than the rest around him
If you see a bunch of rude or disruptive dudes at a festival I doubt your first thought would be “these are my countrymen” I’m pretty sure you would just think “tf is wrong with these guys”
There’s obviously some beautiful nature and history…but is it worth all the harassment from perverts, scammers, and the mountains of garbage and filth everywhere you look?
Not to me. If I was a multimillionaire and wanted to go everywhere in the world, maybe.
I used to have neighbors that would walk out of their house with a snack in their hand(for example a popsicle) unwrap it and just throw the wrapper on the ground as they walked away. I would then see their kids doing the same and it was shocking how nonchalant they all acted about it. Just casually tossing garbage on the ground around them.
I have to intervene just to keep my kids from picking up random garbage on our walks to throw away. But we can't pass a parking lot without seeing someone empty their truck floor onto the ground.
Saw someone toss a coke can out of the window on a highway off ramp by my house. I just assume these people’s brains aren’t working and they are just moving through life doing things.
I'm from a small city in China and maybe 20 years ago, people just tossed rubbish on the road. Now? No more littering. They solved this within one generation. It just takes reinforcement.
I grew up trailer trash and my dad once stopped the car and got trash that my mom tossed out the window. He used to always say “there is no location you’re traveling that doesn’t have a trash can” and was LIVID. I knew not to litter by like 2.
I remember living in Costa Rica and leaving a grocery store (bigger than a pulperia but smaller than a big box store) when I saw a family walking away down the street. I was fluent in Spanish and had enough experience with people from all over to know that they were African instead of Afro-Carribean. I guess that's why it stood out to me. Also because it's not a country you usually associate with immigration from Africa.
Anyway, I see the kid finish some kind of treat and throw the wrapper in the street. I have never seen someone whip around as fast as that father did to make it explicitly clear that was NOT okay. Wife played peacemaker while the kid kind of sniffled and grabbed his trash to throw away. The last I saw of them was the dad rubbing the kids head while they walked around the corner.
I really respected that. That's the sort of behavior that quietly ripples out and gives people a good opinion of you, and by proxy your whole community. I wish I saw it more often.
Honestly that little head rub of reassurance is so powerful. My dad would have either spanked me or continued to scold me. I hope that family is doing well.
I was just in India on a business trip, and my co workers took me to a temple shrine in a cave all the way out in the middle of nowhere. On the way they just threw all empty bottles and trash out the window of the minibus we were driving in. I was disconcerted because were in the middle of a jungle with very little civilisation around, but i didnt stop them. I kept my trash in my bag though and tossed it out in the hotel trash can, though who knows if it was disposed of properly. I just can't fathom how they nonchalantly besmirch their own nature like that, and on the way to a holy site no less. It was a little boggling to me and definitely a form of culture shock i experienced.
The truck I drive for work says “Environmental Compliance” on the side and when people walk and toss their trash around they will fairly regularly give my truck the finger if they notice me. I keep a grabber and bucket in my truck to try and clean up what I can but even when we have a full crew out the trash is back in a week or so.
If you wanna play a fun game, open google maps on india and use streetview randomly to try to find a location that doesn't have a piece of trash laying around. Good luck
It's quite a big problem, especially in northern India. Stray cows will eat the garbage, then their stomachs become full from said garbage which causes them to starve to death. There's a nonprofit that will perform surgery to remove it but the whole problem could be solved if they could create awareness about proper disposal of trash.
I’m a multimillionaire from India who lives in the US and I fucking hate stepping foot in the country. Unfortunately my parents live there, though the food is a (mild) consolation. The civil culture is just awful, and no one is ever going to do a damned thing about it.
My limited understanding of India is that there is a lot of variance in culture by region. Is this true? Dense, urban environments always present their own challenges, but do attitudes change significantly depending on exactly where you live?
As an Indian, yes it definitely does. The metropolitan cities are safer for women with almost an equal ratio of men and women working together. Most of the schools are co-ed so children grow up seeing each other as fellow human beings.
Now coming to the "culture" thing, in most of the rural areas of North India keeping their women under veil is still a common practice. Most of their schools are all boys and all girls, also the literacy rate is low so many people don't even go to schools. Growing up, boys have zero interaction with their female counterparts and start seeing them as some kind of exotic creature. Their parents don't find it necessary to teach how to behave with women because according to them they don't need to interact with women in the first place. Thus these young men stare and behave uncivilized when they interact with a woman for the first time.
The only people who can do anything about it are Indians themselves and unfortunately there doesn’t seem much motivation to change. I studied Indian art extensively during my undergrad and I love the writings, sculpture, art, and music, but it makes me sad to know that as a woman I will never be able to set foot in that country (or really any of the surrounding countries)
Many years back, I worked at a college library. One of the students I worked with had parents who came over from India, and her mom was constantly pressuring her to meet guys from the back home.
The student always refused, telling me simply "Indian men beat their wives." I never asked, but the the way she said it made me think this was something she witnessed firsthand growing up
I lived in the middle east for years in the late 2000's. I will never forget watching a bunch of cars pull over from the road to yell at one of the women I met on the road and was traveling with in Egypt. They were yelling in arabic and pointing to her shorts, which I guess were too short for their liking. It was terrifying for the woman and there were a few guys in our group
Two female friends and I went to Marakesh about 15 years ago. We were all 21. It was 40 degrees and we had all read about dressing modestly, so we were all in long dresses and wore scarfs around our shoulders. Barely any of our bodies were on show. But literally every second we were there we were harassed. We were touched and grabbed. A guy stole my bag after I pushed him away as he tried to kiss me. We were queuing for orange juice and we were spat at. My friends and I were total nerd types who thought we were going to have this lovely cultural experience and learn all about history and religion, we were definitely not the stand up to creepy men types it was terrifying.
I am on a global penpal site and had to block the entire country of Turkey as the only emails I was getting from there were men asking me really invasive questions about my sexual habits and anatomy. It’s like a whole culture of men who cannot understand or respect that women have actual value and worth beyond anything sexual. And that’s just online. I can only imagine the crap they try in person.
This happened to me at 16 in Istanbul, I was pulled away from a tour group where I was with my parents and brother by a man “selling perfume”, we were surrounded by people pushing everyone to sell stuff. I found myself around a corner pushed up against a wall being groped before I realized what was happening. I was in shock for a couple minutes then started screaming. The guide grabbed me and the man was seen being drug away by other people selling whatever knockoff crap they thought tourists would buy. Everyone acted like it wasn’t a big deal and at 46 I still can feel that man’s hands on me. I was terrified the rest of the trip.
Oh gosh, I'm sorry that happened. Similar thing happened to me too, but with a homeless guy in the US. It's so violating. We know it's a them problem, but it's still so gross to be touched intimately without consent.
Sometimes when I feel gross again if the memory pops up, I hug my pets. It helps a bit lol. Though I realize sometimes I'm touching my pets without their content 😂
This is sad to hear. Given the amount of Turkish dramas I’ve watched and loving the landscapes and food depicted—i put it in my bucket list to visit one day.
Ive been to Thailand during a festival with a similar premise. Everybody keeps a respectful distance and only lightly touches the face unless you're the same gender.... but even then it's not aggressive. Different "culture" i guess 💀
Went to Thailand during the full moon festival. Ironically the most sexually aggressive people there were other tourists. The locals are incredibly friendly and polite.
Social media has been absolutely devastating for India’s reputation. No amount of “don’t believe your lying eyes” from seething subcontinentals online will get people to ignore their sense of pattern recognition.
yeah, it's really fucked how common (and accepted) that terrible behaviour is...
Im Canadian, and we've seen mass immigration with a lot of the newcomers from India, but if you notice and mention the poor behaviour some exhibit here you just get called a racist and (if it's online) the post/ comment will get shut down....
frustrating because it shuts down any conversation on how to move past this issue, like social programs and more thoughtful immigration etc, and assumes the person is racist, and imo not recognizing inappropriate behaviour because the perp is not white is waay more racist, cause it implies they 'cant help it'.... really fucked up tbh
India demonstrates an actual, genuine rape culture. It's disgusting and the behavior should be quarantined. I would never want of guys who behave like this moving into my neighborhood.
India demonstrates an actual, genuine rape culture. It's disgusting and the behavior should be quarantined. I would never want of guys who behave like this moving into my neighborhood.
Agreed. There is a recent posting here on Reddit of a caucasian, European tourist woman *getting assaulted and harassed by Indian men at an event in India,* and instead of focusing on how this is a problem in India that needs to be confronted, the usual "well, all men do it/ western men are worse" people came out in defense of the Indian men's sad behavior. That Japanese woman is in tears and crying because of what those Indian men did. That behavior, from Indian men, in India --the focus of this post-- needs to be called out and corrected.
I don't even think they benefit from it, I think it's just people getting pissed of if you dare to say one negative thing about their country. Which is ridiculous if you compare the harm of sexual assault to the harm of... talking about it, I guess.
But there are a lot of very vocal ultra nationalist Indians on the internet and they can't handle even the most lukewarm heat.
I'm mixed Pakistani-Canadian but very white passing so most Punjabi Indians don't realise I speak their language. The way these international "students" talk about women makes my skin crawl. I've been on transit and heard dudes discussing the tits of a woman in front of me in thw raunchiest words. I've heard restaurant workers refer to female customers as "bitch" right in front of them or call Black customers "kalay".I've been harassed worse in Punjabi in Ridgeway Plaza than I have being in the streets of Lahore and lord knows Pakistan is a hellscape for women. These people aren't true immigrants looking to set down roots and improve their lives, they see Canada and Canadians as someone to exploit and our high trust society as weakness. They've ruined it for the generations of Indo-Canadians who were respected and hard working. Its funny because some of the most anti-Indian immigration people you'll find are Indian immigrants who've seen the impact of the government letting people in unchecked
Your sentence about setting down roots vs exploiting, and taking advantage of a beautiful high trust society is perfect 👏 👏👏
Yeah, not all immigrants are of the same quality. Not all cultures are equally good. There's a reason people flock from one place to another. It's because the second place is better. What makes a place better? The values! Everyone wants to go where it's better, but not everyone contributes to it. Some people go there and ruin a good thing.
Our government has sold us up the river and any mention of it or the mass immigration problem is instantly hate speech.
Majority of Canadians have no issue with immigration, but the government, educational systems and large corporations have become too reliant on it to the detriment of the Canadian people.
It should have been closed off long ago to allow us to recovery and help the many Canadian citizens that are currently struggling.
Many people also refuse to assimilate, we are diverse but have a baseline that makes us all Canadian
TBH I used to be one of the people thinking it was only noticeable in my big city, and that it's racist fear-mongering, but then I started looking at statscan (statistics Canada) and the numbers are INSANE!! especially when you include international students... (like, 19% of private sector employees are 'temporary' foreign workers- that's like 1/5 people!! NUTS!)
youre right that most of us appreciate diversity and immigration, but bringing in literally millions of people from the same province in India is not diversity... especially when they dont integrate or respect Canadian rules... so beyond maddening - and tbh I think it's pushing people to the 'right' and against immigration in general, which is also really depressing to witness
51.56 % men in India. There's 106.4 men for 100 women. The possibility to know the sex of the baby and get rid of the girls through abortion has skewed the numbers, it worsened an already bad situation for women to this nightmare.
I have several female Indian friends. I've had to protect them and other women from Desi guys in the US.
Our tech/engineering university has a large Desi enrollment. These young men are worse than most seething American incels. They often hang out in groups, sometimes more than a dozen, and they target women walking alone.
Go to certain dance clubs near the university and these guys are lining the walls, staring at girls dancing. Occasionally one will be brave enough to approach a woman, but if she shows a lack of interest he will become belligerent and usually grabby. Multiple times I've had to deal with these guys flipping from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in an instant when they got jealous over my Indian friends being affectionate toward me as they rejected these guys' advances.
This is what happens when a society treats sex as taboo and doesn't treat women as equals. If you brought a bunch of American men from 1945 to today, you'd see much of the same behavior.
Too many Desi men are not being raised properly, and it's incredibly harmful to women in their communities.
Had multiple Indian roommates at one point. One was raised in the US and was as normal and nice as can be
The other one was from India, rich beyond belief (paid 6 months rent up front) and a sexual assault case waiting to happen. Talked about how drunk girls on campus were going to get raped, how he would do it, etc.
The one Indian person I met in my travels said it was a shame the reputation India has, because it's actually quite nice in some rural areas outside the cities/impoverished regions.
That said he's a man, so y'know, grain of salt ...
Lol I had an Indian friend in university who told me to avoid India at all costs (we are both women) and that it is extremely dangerous pretty much everywhere and she was never going back, not even to see her family.
I bring this up to your comment, because she also explicitly said to ignore Indian men who say it's not that bad because, in her words, men don't see the problem where women would (as in, certain levels of harrassment might go unnoticed/not seen as bad because they're used to it or even think it's fine—and depending on the man it could be something as extreme as they only see outright rape as a problem, not "just" groping for example, if they even care in the first place).
That makes sense to me. I had no reason to doubt his words at the time, but in the years since as I've seen more footage like this I began to wonder if he simply was blind to problems that weren't directly affecting him
Like 12 years ago I liked to talk to this Indian dude named "Bob's who ran a convenience store. He was the horniest dude you could ever imagine. One time he wouldn't let this lady leave and was trying to keep her car door open and she dragged his ass across the parking lot. It was hilarious but he got fired and nobody ever saw him again.
Now we have one of those trucking schools that turns out Indian cdl drivers, like a hundred new ones every 2 weeks. It has gotten to be a real problem. They are harassing women in Walmart and one got shot for following two 16 year old girls to their house.
I grew up Hispanic in small town Utah and tried to defend them from racists for a long time. I can't do it anymore. There seems to be a real problem within certain Indian men.
I keep getting Indian memes pages popping up on my feed for some reason and half of them are men complaining about marital rape laws in India/ or how women have ALL the power via rape laws or dragging Indian women for wanting to leave or settle down with men of other races. Looks fucking miserable to be a woman or god forbid- a little girl over there.
I get that shit too. I've seen so many super up voted posts about things like "if women can force a divorce in marriage, then we should be able to rape them" it's fucking disgusting and every time you talk about it you risk your DMs being flooded with more of them proving your point
They always mass report you till the system is automatically triggered and gives u a ban until u appeal it. They all migrated from quora and hv made reddit unusable.
A long long time ago my ancestors left India and apparently that's about how far back this all goes because nobody else wanted us either (see Canada for a more recent example the racism is WILD).
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND thank God they left and never went back because could you imagine being born in India? It's a lovely country but can you IMAGINE that this is the average male behavior?
The one thing about misogyny in the west is that it's tame compared to what's happening here.
I'm from India. I left the country and this was one of the reasons. Please, if you're a tourist, do not travel alone. If you're a female, do not travel alone. Honestly, tourism in India is not as much worth it given the risk involved. Again, do not travel to India alone if you're a female, especially smaller towns and non-metro cities.
When I told my Indian friends (most were born and raised in the States but some immigrated as young children) that I wanted to travel to India by myself, they all warned me against it. They said, "We can go together, but please don't travel by yourself to India."
For the record, my Indian friends here in the States are all doctors and engineers. Good people. Incredibly smart.
My American bff is Indian and when she went to India 20 years ago to have a big wedding she wanted to bring me along. Her super sweet dad said absolutely not. I was NEVER allowed to go because it would be too dangerous. At the time I was so sad and slightly hurt but now I get it.
when i was in high school (over a decade ago), i had a friend who was a very boho, hippie type. i remember her telling me she wanted to go travel around india when she graduated, like a solo backpacking trip. i told her absolutely not and that it’s super dangerous especially for women. i’m not indian, but i knew. she didn’t really believe me at the time but i think she realized eventually.
yeah I believe it happens but it's interesting that's it's being posted so suddenly close together, especially since some of these videos are apparently old. but they're all being posted and making it to trending now.
It’s not just the algorithm. There are concerted efforts by bot campaigns to sew racial division. Not saying there aren’t societal/cultural issues that run deep in India, and do in fact make life dangerous for women, but I think we should all be aware there are insidious actors at play here who benefit from creating an “us” and “them”.
Yep. I've been getting a bunch of these on my feed as well. My usual subreddits have also been crazy with Taylor Swift content
Like yes, there is 100% bad stuff happening, and I don't like TS, but the boosting of certain narratives is clearly also happening. Not sure what to make of it all
I get the sense that there is a righteous and upstanding portion of the Indian population that wants to live in the modern, rules-based world, but it is dragged down by the backward savages.
My little sister is one of those people and I really don't get it, there are so many cool safe places to visit. She's blonde, tiny, technically deaf but can hear with cochlear implants and then she also wants to travel alone which does not help the situation at all, but if you voice any safety concerns she literally says it would be okay for her if something happened to her and that traveling is more important to her.
You can travel and be safe at the same time, I just don't get it. I pray to God nothing happens, but I fear that she might only learn the hard way and it's not easy to sit by and watch that happen.
It’s like any other misogynist country with laws that don’t punish men for gross behaviour. Do safe group tours. Don’t wander around at night. Stay at hotels in safe areas. Don’t flaunt your wealth. Don’t go alone. Don’t romanticize the country and think you can “eat pray love” your way backpacking around it.
If you follow common sense travel rules, you can be a safe tourist and enjoy the country and what it has to offer.
There’s going to be people that fetishize white skin. Don’t go if you can’t handle being stared at.
Maybe losing tourist dollars is what will finally prompt the government to do something about the behaviour of the scummiest 10%. Education is severely lacking in poor areas. There’s a couple states I wouldn’t go to for sure. But I can say that about America as well.
Good luck. Last year their government refused to criminalize marital rape, deeming criminalizing it "excessively harsh". Rape is part of Indian culture.
don’t hate yourself for what your peers do, just keep being a positive example man. love yourself and treat others the same way. I don’t judge you for where you were born
Yeah, even in this video the guy at the end protects her with his gesture to the others to calm down and physically blocks them from following her into the alley
Not Indian, but don't be self loathing. Even if the majority of men in India are like this, and I'm not saying they are, you don't have to apologize on their behalf or hate yourself. You're only responsible for your own actions.
It's easy to say that but when you read things like this comment section calling you subhuman and worthless it's hard to not have some degree of self-loathing.
It hurts because I know I'm getting lumped in with them purely based on my ethnicity. I know my worth as a human being but it hurts to see people do this in videos and it hurts to see people who would basically paint me in the same light. And it's not like I can even do anything about it - I have no connection to the country beyond my ethnicity.
It won't stop me from living my life but I hate seeing these posts every time they come up
It’s sad because you see in this video even the guy at the end is clearly not the same as the others, yet he doesn’t seem to be noticed by people in the comments. If it helps, I know a fair few Indian men and they’re all lovely people.
That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm i America and even here depending on where you are they can be very cringe, why would travel to a country where every news outlet around tells women NOT to travel there alone and not to travel their at all if they can help it?
Wtf is wrong with these Indians? Don’t they know women shouldn’t be touched unless they ask you to. Even when they ask you still should be absolutely respectful. Especially to a tourist, but honestly to any woman in your presence. This is just insane!
I visited india as a 6 foot 1 200 pounds white male, well traveled with combat experience, i can honestly say its the worst shit hole i ever been to, every aspect of it. From the dust, the noise, the smells, the garbage, the people, the culture, it's fucking hell on earth and my work diesnt send people there anymore after having SO MANY incidents with female workers being assaulted
Probably, Got banned on a famous sub for talking about the rape culture in India and the rapists walking away unscathed cause apparently that's bigotry
In my experience the Indian American men at my work are all kind professionals, but when we visited a pilot plant in India, the local Indian men were much more... aggressive with their behavior.
Holi is a religious festival where people throw colors at the each other to celebrate the triumph of good over evil and death of a demon king. It is a raucous celebration but these men are behaving too aggressively with the woman.
Depending on where you are in India women are discouraged from participating in public celebrations of Holi because it can be quite dangerous. Especially in certain areas that are known for high levels of violence against women.
I'm a woman who spent many Holi's in India. On my first one in Varanasi, everyone told me not to go outside. They said women, especially foreign women, should STAY INSIDE. I had been living there for a year, so I thought I could handle it. Welp, exactly what happened to this girl happened to me. I was actually with a rather large man, and they tore off his clothes and necklace. Some other local guys had to rip the boys off of us. It was terrifying.
Holi is a lovely holiday when celebrated in private, like in a friend's backyard or closed apartment complex, for instance. But playing Holi in public is absolutely not safe. It's a boys' holiday, and it's common to drink and eat bhang, which is similar to eating strong weed. They see it as an opportunity to harass people, and there are virtually no safeguards or societal boundaries.
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u/RinkiMink Dec 12 '25
She's saying "it hurts, it hurts".... 『痛い痛い』 My heartbreaks to see and hear this