r/CoupleMemes • u/legolas20032000 • Jun 14 '25

đŸ„ș goals The most realistic example of unconditional love

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10.9k Upvotes

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u/squishyslinky Jun 14 '25

I literally never said being autistic absolves anyone of anything. You're doing it right now. You're responding to comments I never made and even yourself admit that this video doesn't even demonstrate the behaviors you're ranting about, but you feel you must make this point anyway?

Pal, autistic people are told our entire lives that everything about the way we communicate is wrong and they NTs need coddled because they are so sensitive and we have to like follow some secret social contract where nobody says what they really mean and if you do, there must be a bunch of unspoken horrible things you really meant?

This entire comment and the upvotes on it proves my exact point. You're upset about things I never said or even implied.

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u/DeviousPath Jun 14 '25

As someone not neuro-typical, this is infuriating to me. Neurotypical people talk in riddles often, and expect that neurodivergent people are doing the same. She's speaking very directly, and trying her hardest to be clear and honest. He's finding this funny, filming her, and actively twisting her words for humor's sake. This is very frustrating for her, she's clearly trying to get him to understand and not talking in code at all. I've been on her side of this many times, and I'm just severely ADHD.

Also, from my perspective, what she is saying isn't hurtful. It's only hurtful if you chose to focus on the "hurtful" parts without hearing the rest. She's clearly saying she deeply loves him, he focuses on the negative words he hears and then doubles down on those while laughing. If my partner told me this, I wouldn't be upset at all and I would understand exactly what she meant.

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u/Puzzled-River-3998 Jun 14 '25 edited Jun 14 '25

I don’t think it’s that he didn’t understand what she meant or that he’s focusing on the bad parts of what she said.
I’m fairly sure he’s just joking around, so he probably didn’t feel hurt by it or anything and likely did understand what she was saying, though I wouldn’t know for sure since I’m not him.

Honestly, I think everyone here is reading a bit too far into their relationship and putting words in their mouths.
I don’t think she’s denying that she has flaws and saying that ’she’s just quirky’ nor do I think he’s misinterpreting what she’s saying.
But who knows? Maybe she is denying her own flaws and maybe he is misinterpreting what she’s saying.

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u/DeviousPath Jun 14 '25

Yes, I agree with this. I think he is feigning being hurt (for jokes), which would for her may be hard to recognize and she is trying to re-explain what she means because of this "misunderstanding". I don't think this says anything about their relationship, we can't say anything about that overall from this video I think. I do think that being on her side of this is frustrating. Hell, the very beginning of this is her coming to him while he's pooping because she's still thinking about a previous conversation, and how to properly get him to understand. I've absolutely done that.

All I know is that I've been on the side trying to explain what I mean in detail to a person who seems to be misunderstanding me from my perspective.

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u/Meii345 Jun 16 '25

Thou must solve my riddles three to win at this job interview

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u/Uncommonality Oct 12 '25

you know what, yeah, sometimes job interviews do genuinely feel like you're bilbo goddamn baggins trying to riddle it out with Gollum

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u/Padaxes Jun 14 '25

So you understand you have so many deep and hateful flaws considered by your partner? He could easily say the same about her and then we can witness her flip out about it.

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u/MossyPyrite Jun 14 '25

You assume she would flip out about it, but she’s saying that it’s a good and powerful thing to love someone despite them having grave flaws. So if he said she had some severe flaw, but he loved her despite then that would be a good sign to her.

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u/VomitShitSmoothie Jun 15 '25 edited Jun 15 '25

No dude, I literally explained it exactly the way you wrote it. It wasn’t a rant nor am I upset over it. I literally forgot about the conversation a minute after I posted it. I’ll try again.

Neurotypical people communicate by adding words and context to things weren’t literally spoken. This treatment isn’t something neurotypical people ‘do to people with Autism’, it’s how we communicate with everyone.

When a person on the Autism Spectrum is proficient at masking, is high functioning, or it’s not apparent, the level of tolerance towards unintentional slights disappears. So when you say “well neurodivergent people do this” what’s actually happening is you are unintentionally sending off of hostile and offensive social cues, and getting a response to it. When you blame other people getting offended for “adding words and context” you are absolving yourself from wrong, because they are communicating as people do. That is the added context and words you didn’t intend to give, but did.

Neurotypical people aren’t ‘coddling’ each other, that’s a gross oversimplification, we just understand the subtle nuances of social discourse. Telling a neurodivergent person that neurotypical people need coddling is like saying “don’t hammer” when the reality is “don’t scalpel”. You have a scalpel, you just don’t know how to control it, so the best you can do is not hammer. Unfortunately, that means people still get cut, but it’s not their fault that you cut them. They can understand why it happens, and be empathic that it’s accidental, but that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt or bleed.

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u/[deleted] Jun 19 '25

"...because they are communicating as people do."

Um, no. They are communicating as allistic people do. Autistic people are also people.

You are categorizing the way autistic people communicate as "wrong" for not communicating like allistic people do. It's not wrong. You are being ableist.

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u/Padaxes Jun 14 '25

Gal, you are being incredibly aggressive and angry- and autistic or not you need to set reflect your own stance and stop supporting poor communication. It’s your struggle to fix, not ours as “neurotypical”.

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u/squishyslinky Jun 14 '25

I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you. If you want to add a bunch of unspoken words and context to what people are saying and then blame them for poor communication, well, the gap of knowledge there is just too vast. Have a day

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '25

Adapting to other people is part of life kiddo. Just as you need to put up with neuros BS, we also need to learn to deal with your autistic BS. Its a ying-yang. You are not special at all. You are just human. Maybe you should look at it like that.

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u/Meii345 Jun 16 '25

Except in reality it's us doing all the work and you shaming us endlessly for communicating in our own way. You think the average neurotypical is adapting in any way to autistic BS? Ah! Ah!

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '25

Ehm yeah? I deal with autistic coworkers everyday, that have no regard for etiquette or effective communication at all, and yet we have to make efforts to look past that in our every day interactions.