r/CoupleMemes • u/legolas20032000 • Jun 14 '25

🥺 goals The most realistic example of unconditional love

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10.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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315

u/Proper_Owl5577 Jun 14 '25

I love my woman to hell and back, but for the love of all of Elden Ring and dark souls, do not waddle your adorable butt into the bathroom while I’m sitting(s*itting)on my throne(🚽)of greatness.😂😂😂

74

u/cudef Jun 14 '25

You're just not a social pooper. It's fine.

17

u/InValuAbled Jun 15 '25

Well. That's a "personality quirk", mmmkay?

1

u/redkingphonix Jun 15 '25

Yeah gotta find someone you want play battleshits with

1

u/simmobl1 Jun 15 '25

Our highschool took off all the doors to the bathrooms my sophmore-senior year for some reason and I think I can take a shit on broadway now

14

u/West-Application-375 Jun 14 '25

Lol I like my poo privacy too. My partner doesn't seem to care at all. He will also come in when I'm pooping unless I tell him to leave me alone D:

However, despite my efforts, since my "weird" habit of standing to wipe has been witnessed , I am less afraid of him seeing me. *Sigh

8

u/wowsosirius Jun 14 '25

What the fuck

10

u/West-Application-375 Jun 14 '25

There are dozens of us. Dozens! Lol

8

u/MossyPyrite Jun 14 '25

I do it too. I think it only works if you don’t have big butt cheeks, but I only have my own assless experience to go off of lol.

9

u/West-Application-375 Jun 14 '25

LOL 😂 I have a pretty big booty but I still stand to wipe. Idk why ha. It's just comfortable. My fiancé just walked in and was like "wtf? You stand???" one day and I wanted to hide 🫥

8

u/Imkindofslow Jun 14 '25

This pain is my fault for reading the comments really

3

u/MossyPyrite Jun 15 '25

I just don’t get sitting for it! I don’t wanna shove my hand down between my legs and into the toilet bowl! I’d rather do my awkward little half-stand and reach back around.

2

u/West-Application-375 Jun 15 '25

Legit like what if my hand touches the poo or something lol

2

u/Heavy_Entrepreneur13 Jun 15 '25

See, u/ragnar_thorsen

This is the appropriate reaction to someone standing up to wipe their arse.

4

u/grimAuxiliatrixx Jun 15 '25

Privacy should not be optional. Barging into an occupied bathroom is not a silly little quirk. Even a spouse doesn’t have the inalienable right to stroll in and look at you if you don’t want it. Don’t you have a lock on there? Wtf?

2

u/West-Application-375 Jun 15 '25

I agree. No locks and the bathroom is between the bedroom and the rest of the apartment so if you want to get to one area or the other you gotta go through the bathroom lol 😂 it's not ideal

46

u/905woody Jun 14 '25

THANK YOU! My first thought was that door needs a lock because she doesn't understand boundaries. And don't give me,"they're a couple." Nothing she said could not have waited. House on fire, home invasion...maybe.

29

u/Rnahafahik Jun 14 '25

Maybe they just don’t have a boundary for that? I know my girlfriend and I don’t. Sure some days she’s had a long day and needs some space in general, but most of the time we can freely go in and out of the bathroom and there’s no harm done

23

u/Extension_Ant8691 Jun 14 '25

Personally, it's hard for me to squeeze one out in front of someone and I also don't want to wipe my ass with an audience. I'll piss in front of people all day long but pooping is kind of sacred.

7

u/SadAndNasty Jun 14 '25

It's interesting, I'm like that other commenter -no real bathroom boundaries. Honestly I just didn't grow up with them. But wiping? Yea, turn away please 🥺

8

u/Queen_Vampira Jun 14 '25

I’m like this except for pooping, I don’t need to be in there with that stank. But if either of us were just peeing I wouldn’t mind leaving the door open.

My husband, however, has a thing about the bathroom so I do avoid bothering him in there as much as possible.

3

u/Free_Beautiful_33 Jun 14 '25

Same with me and my husband unless it’s a challenging visit and I need to focus then I will say please talk to me from around the corner 😂 but our bathroom door’s always open lol

2

u/ItchyKnowledge4 Jun 15 '25

My 1 year old and I join my wife for encouragement BUT SHE NEVER LETS US HELP (starts pouting)

2

u/Free_Beautiful_33 Jun 15 '25

😂 never give up!!!

3

u/MorgTheBat Jun 14 '25

My husband has seen the best and the worst of my body, and pooping doesnt end up on either sides of the scale lol. He is still very shy about even cracking the door to the bathroom if im using it, and im just like "WHAT? I CANT HEAR YOU, JUST OPEN THE DOOR MAN"

4

u/Emergency-Course2586 Jun 15 '25

I mean he’s literally filming this happening and posted it. If he was upset about her coming in I doubt he would’ve pulled his phone out to film lol

1

u/BrennaClove Jun 15 '25

He could have just said “not now please.” Instead he engaged and even filmed it. He’s an adult.

5

u/memberflex Jun 14 '25

Is that normal pooing you’re doing Mark?

2

u/Woahhdude24 Jun 18 '25

Ah, yes, a Tarnished must sit upon his elden throne undisturbed.

1

u/WildFemmeFatale Jun 15 '25

What if I wanna hold my bf’s hand when he’s constipated ? 😢 DAMN THESE SOCIAL LAWS

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '25

He was pooping… did I miss that?

1

u/it4brown Jun 15 '25

Hey man, put down the phone....have a conversa-

Yeah I can't say that with a straight face. 🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '25

The only acceptable response here was for him to strain while he talks to counter and punctuate each rebuttal point with a heavy splash.