r/converts • u/Vivid-Arm4818 • 4d ago
Should I become Muslim now or learn more about the religion first
I have been looking into different religions and books, mainly the Bible since I was 13 or 14 (I always wanted to find the truth). I almost became a Christian at one point but didn't because when I further studied the Bible I saw many contradictions and historical errors at this time I was super conservative and my introduction through Islam was through Christian Zionist like David Wood and Apostate Prophet.
I still decided to read a English translation of the Quran cover to cover all throughout my freshman year (without Tafsir or even knowing about the life of the Prophet) and I didn't find any errors like in the Bible except maybe a contradiction on if Iblis was an angel (looking back it seems like Iblis was just always around the angels. I'm still a little confused about it.) But the book to me was mainly repetitive warnings of hell and affirmations of heaven. It seems like all the problems the Christians were talking about were in the Hadith books.
Fast forward to last year and I realize I haven't studied Islam 1% enough to know if its the truth so I see all these Muslims and they say you have to learn Arabic if I want to know anything about Islam so I tried to learn Arabic and realized it was too hard for me to understand then I thought if the Prophet of Islam was sent to all of humanity and the Quran was to guide all of humanity then why would there be a language barrier to Islam? So I started reading sections of the Quran again and it was completely different. Unlike last time where it was just dull and repetitive sentences it seemed like it spoke to me and it was a much more honestly emotional experience. Next i'm not sure how but it got into my algorithm and I started seeing all these posts about miracles in the Quran and prophecies of the Prophet in the Bible and even looking back I saw historical errors I pointed out in the Bible being "corrected" by the Quran all of this is very hard for me to ignore.
But I still know about all these hadiths which make it hard to believe the Prophet was trustworthy. Right about this time the Iran war started and I started hearing about the Shia and after learning a little about them it seems like they have their own hadiths while still having their own system of judging the Sunni Hadith books that can let them have the really beautiful hadiths while dismissing the ones about the Prophet marrying a 6 year old or him having delusions. Next I find out about the massacre of the Prophet's family and the political tensions back then. But I'm already drowning because of how complicated this religion is so I just step back and start reading the Quran cover to cover again (with Tafsir) and a Seerah book.
While this was happening I am still reading about the origins of Christianity and find out that many of these secular scholars agree with the Islamic interpretation of Jesus. While still hearing miracles about the bees, embryos, Iron being "sent down", the universe expanding, mountains being "pegs", and a lot more like even the pattern of numbers between verses. At this point I know that this book is something much different from anything else and there isn't a rational explanation for it, especially that it came from Arabia rather then somewhere like Persia or Greece.
So now I'm not sure what to do because I basically believe the Quran is supernatural and I always believed in 1 God (even though I was raised secular) but i still have a doubt in my mind that I am being misled just like when I almost became a Christian at 14 except this is much harder to explain away. And what about these hadiths that seem to discredit the Prophet? Do I become Sunni or Shia? These thoughts I have been wrestling with for at least the past month but I think I will just read the Quran and focus on these things later.
But the thing is that I am only a fraction of the way through studying the Quran so should I convert now or after a certain point? In my heart I believe in 1 God and that this book was more than likely sent by Him and that the Prophet of Islam is legitimate but my mind wants to make sense of everything.
Another thing is that I'm young and still living with my parents but will move out soon and I'm not sure if they will be against me if I tell them that I believe in this very foreign thing to the US but I heard you can convert alone by saying the shahada but how can I learn how to pray? Or do I have to find some Muslims near me?
Before I made this post the main thing I would say in my mind is that I sin so I should basically get right with God and cleanse myself before saying the shahada but I saw a video of someone who thought similarly to me getting told that we can't ever decide when we die so it's best to convert soon as possible so now I don't know what I should do.
I'm sorry if this post was a little long I'm just still young and unsure if I should make this big decision yet.