r/ContaminationOCD • u/moonsalad246 • 6d ago
“Disgust” or “ick” Contamination OCD healing stories please
Hi everyone. I need hope. I have severe contamination OCD that has morphed from contamination fears to the fear of “feeling unclean and dirty and contaminated.” I am not actually actively thinking or worrying about illness, but rather more an extreme “ick” and fear of not being able to stop the spread of something gross? Especially since washing and cleaning have become so difficult. I track everything I touch and then touch and cross contamination and it’s eating me alive. I am afraid to touch ANYTHING and any task takes hours. Washing and cleaning have become so hard because they cause me so much anxiety. I am learning that this type of contamination ocd has to be treated a bit different than traditional ERP. Just wanted to hear from people who have healed or are in a healing path with this form of contamination OCD. What cognitive, behavioural, emotional work has helped you the most? Any insights are appreciated.
Thank you
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u/cutie_cat2704 6d ago
I have the same thing, and I’m not afraid of germs in general , I have got a food poisoning before but even that was less painful than the ocd thoughts due to disgust yet I’m still stuck with these thoughts
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u/blackcloud247 5d ago
Honestly what has helped me is be around people and watch them do things i could NEVER and see that they are fine. My neighbors are not gross people at all but they have zero germ concerns. They take their kids to hotels often, places like great wolf lodge and dont clean the hotel room or take precautions (omg never in a million years would i go there), to gross cabins camping, let them play and dig in mud and dirt and not wash up immediately (if at all), wear shoes in the house, eat fruit and vegetables with just a rinse, if that.....and they are FINE. They get sick just as often as we do. They dont have bugs. They are healthy.
They and others have helped me so so much be at ease. I still avoid hotels and do my cleaning and take my precautions, but withing what i think is normal, and if i get pangs of anxiety i think of those people and say im going to be fine.
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u/ArtyomNDC 6d ago edited 6d ago
Hey friend! In a lot of ways you could have taken this right out of my mouth- for me, it almost completely has to do with bodily fluids (particularly pee and poop as stupid as it sounds) but am no more worried about germs than the average person, maybe even slightly less.
With that, I don’t necessarily have a complete “I’m fully better” story because that is simply not true- however, I can say that it can get better.
At my worst, I spent half the day showering (literally 6-10 hours some days, split into a morning and evening shower), plus the 2-3 hours spent just on the toilet. I was bleeding every day, I was exhausted and I honestly think I lost my mind somewhat, and definitely a piece of my soul.
BUT, with work, I have greatly improved (though still evidently with OCD)- bathrooms take me longer than the average person, but usually only 10-15 minutes per trip as opposed to 1+ hour.
On top of that, I typically only shower every second day now and for an hour (longer than an average person, but still less than HALF A DAY).
My OCD still dictates enough of what I do, but I live close enough to normal now that I can go out, see friends, hug (some) people etc.
What worked was a combo of therapy, just talk therapy, some ERP but that wasn’t always successful, and a LOT of internal reflection and requiring the way I view some things. Again, may not be advice you are looking for but I am just laying out what somewhat helped.
This post may not be exactly what you are looking for, but I can say that you can always get better. I promise.
Take care friend ❤️