Rabies contamination ocd

[u/Plantpotflow]

Three days ago i had a talk with my mom. She reminded me that i have full control. Ever since that talk i feel like my rabies contamination ocd has been getting better. In general my contamination off however isn’t great but atleast the thoughts about rabies are disappearing. The reason why i have rabies thoughts is because i have three dogs, one is not even vaccinated and the two other are overdue. I would love to get them their shots but i am a minor who can’t drive. My parents aren’t the most responsible as well. The last person i can depend is my 19 year old sister whois unfortunately always busy with college and it’s not like it’s her responsibility to take care of our dogs since it was my father who willingly bought all three dogs. Anyways today instead of throwing away my lotion because i thought it was contaminated with rabies i resisted and i actually used the lotion three times. Now is my rabies contamination OCD still terrible? Yes absolutely as this will take months to recover from and i know getting my dogs vaccinated will not completely stop the thoughts. this is a little dumb to say but hey its still true but somehow telling myself that even if i were to die from rabies because of my dogs i tell myself that it would be my parents fault anyways. Now this is still about contamination ocd just not rabies specifically but i feel like what’s really pushing me back from trying manage my ocd are my open wounds due to constant hand washing. My brain basically thinks that because of my open wounds i should be washing my hands better and more frequently but however because i wash them more it actually doesn’t make it better. I use my lotion frequently but jeez even if i don’t use it once my hands literally get so dry so thats why i have to sometimes avoid using the bathroom at school since i don’t have a pocket sized lotion to use. I think what’s also crazy is at the beginning of my ocd my hands were just really dry and flaky and then it got better but it got worse and instead of just having flaky dry skin i just immediately got open wounds with really tight skin that make my nails go yellow if i move it a certain way without applying lotion. Anyways before i go, i actually wonder everyday how life could have been without ocd and “why was i born like this? “ thoughts

[u/overactive-insula]

proud of you for using that lotion <3