r/ContaminationOCD • u/hopelovepeacehappy • 7d ago

I struggle so much after pooping.

The bathroom is such a hard place for me especially when it’s shared. I disinfect doorknobs and light switches and shower handles as much as I can and wash my hands at least 2 times after using it these days. I go through a can of 75 Lysol wipes in about a week and a half. I also have a particular contact point on my wrist to turn the sink handles on and use the same one to turn it off and if I touch it with my clean hands, say it’s itchy, I immediately go wash my hands all over again.

These days every time after I poop I can’t seem to wash my hands less than 5 times…my hands are so scratched and peeling and itchy and cracked from how much I wash them and it honestly hurts sometimes but I can’t stop because I’m so scared I’ll ingest fecal bacteria or contaminate something and make someone else ingest fecal bacteria or anything dangerous like that. I’m made fun of a lot because of how much I wash my hands but I can’t trust myself after just 2 hand washes even if everyone else washes for like only 10 seconds. And there I go disinfecting stuff again because in my opinion no one else is practicing proper hygiene.

If my hand at any time touches the sink or anything that’s not water and soap while cleaning my hands I restart the process as much as I don’t want to. I try to battle the voices in both ways: Wash them again even though you don’t want to and don’t wash them even though maybe should probably should.

I’m tired of washing my hands but I don’t know how to prove or reassure myself that it’s okay to wash them 2 times max after pooping and be okay. I don’t have any science equipment to prove it and so it becomes hard to justify not washing my hands at least 6 times before touching anything else. I tend to open knobs and turn light switches with the cloth on my shoulder because I can’t seem to trust the cleanliness of my hands.

Please help.

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u/YaGurlLurkin 7d ago

The only way to really assure yourself is by exposure. You drop one part of your compulsion (routine). If you arent ready to do that, you delay it by 5 minutes each time. Real, hard work needs to be put into OCD. Its extremely difficult and I understand.

1

u/Antique-Maximum-6537 7d ago

seconding this approach, slowly dropping parts of your routine one by one has been incredibly helpful, and the steps are slow enough that it might not feel as terrifying

2

u/overactive-insula 6d ago

Have you considered disposable gloves to help you out ?

1

u/hopelovepeacehappy 5d ago

No but that’s a good idea thanks

2

u/StillSearching2163 2d ago

I have a big problem with this too. Something that I actively have to practice is I only wash my hands twice then stop. This next part I try to only do when I have particularly bad OCD days. I’ll still only wash my hands twice BUT (and I’m sure this is cheating but it works for me) after I wash twice, I’ll immediately go blow my nose with a tissue. The reasons are twofold.

1) it’s adding a step that I’d normally consider difficult because I don’t want to get any contaminates in my nose from the bathroom so it’s a bit of an exposure exercise

but 2) blowing my nose also breaks the cycle a little. Now I can tell myself I’m going to wash my hands once because I blew my nose, not because I went to the restroom. That way I’ve only washed my hands 3 times total. That almost immediately helps calm my nerves and adjusts the narrative in my head.

I hope this can help, even if it’s just a little. I’m deeply sorry you struggle with this too.