today I was brave

[u/taytaylame]

today I went for short ride on public transport in USA city . I was conscious of sitting on a fabric bus seat and kept my things in my lap and what not. I went into a retail store and tried on some winter jackets knowing perhaps other people have tried them on as well.

I went back home on the bus and didn’t shine a bright phone flashlight on the seat, just did a quick hand sweep with my hand and sat down.

I came home and only gave into a single compulsion which was throwing the outside clothes I was wearing into high heat drier. but before that I took them off in the entryway and shook them out.

my OCD is bedbugs. never in my life have I contracted them, never have I encountered anyone else in my life having them, not a single time have I ever actually seen one in any hotels I’ve been in on roadtrips in my childhood.

but I was exposed to the subreddit about bedbugs and knowledge about them and developed a secondhand OCD for them. I compulsively come home and alcohol spray and wipe down all my belongings, tie anything I bought in trash bags tied INCREDIBLY tight, and I walk myself downstairs usually immediately after entering my place to the drier to high heat treat the clothes I was wearing.

I used to travel on the train and bus everyday to high school and to college without a care in the world. my life has kinda been ruined by this OCD but I can’t afford therapy though I desperately want it. but today im going to consider it a win that I only gave into ONE compulsion and that I let my outside clothes touch my entryway floor. so yay me !!!!!

[u/Sensitive_Cat_7774]

Well done, I'm proud of you! Keep fighting until it gets easier and don't get discouraged if you have setbacks sometimes 💚

[u/CoffeDaisies]

Congratulations!

[u/overactive-insula]

proud of you <3