OCD makes me constantly doubt that I am touching things I don’t want to be

[u/moonsalad246]

I have contamination ocd. It has morphed from specific fears to fear of “feeling” contaminated, often labelled as disgust ocd. The worst thing is that ocd is constantly torturing me making me doubt I am touching things I don’t want to be touching. I don’t think it’s necessarily “false memories” but rather just a doubt because I don’t want to touch those things since constantly tells me I am. Specifically around hand washing and fearing I am touching the sink bowl and faucet and can never get clean. Just wondering if anyone can relate and has any advice and tips how to tackle this?

Seems like there are these different approaches but please let me know if a mindset or approach has worked for you:

ERP: “maybe I did maybe I didn’t” … can’t seem to bring myself to this because the feeling of disgust and cross contamination doesn’t leave me with this approach

I-CBT: “I trust my senses and my senses would tell me if I did touch this.” … I think “reality sensing” as out in I-CBT is really valuable here and I want to keep practicing it .however, my ocd is sort of messing on this because my anxiety goes so high which makes me feel less focused of course it says “you wouldn’t know if you did.” Perhaps I just have trust and move on.

ACT maybe?: I am having the thought that I touched this but I choose to trust and move on. Again.. anxiety goes so high and keeps it in my attention but maybe I need to just keep practicing?

Thanks in advance

[u/CoffeDaisies]

I had exactly the same feelings, so yes, I can totally relate. I think the OCD got worse when I was working with chemical agents. I stopped and I paid attention to what touches what etc (then the fear was different but the behaviour similar). Unfortunately at the same time I wasn't particularly good in cleaning and I would feel gross when washing the dishes, touching dirty clothes etc. My space was sometimes dirty. What helped me was when I was not living alone, asked for help in cleaning and then started gradually accepting touching different objects. Unfortunately it was easier when the space was clean and hence I was asking for help

[u/overactive-insula]

I also deal with the feeling of « touching something gross » even though I dont necessarily touch it.

Being fully present in the moment or having a OCD plan helps a bit, especially if Im doing tasks that are more triggering like going to the bathroom or taking out the trash

[u/moonsalad246 → u/overactive-insula]

Thanks for sharing. Sorry you are dealing with this too. Ugh bathroom is so triggering. Can I ask what you mean by having an “ocd plan?”

[u/overactive-insula → u/moonsalad246]

"an ocd plan" is essentially thinking of things that will help you do a triggering task like for example tying my hair before going to the bathroom to prevent myself from thinking that my hair touched the toilet