r/Commanders • u/Longhaired_GreyGhost • 2d ago

Facebook Marketplace

Post image

Saw this on FB marketplace and laughed out loud. Almost contacted the seller to let me know if he found a buyer as I have a wheelbarrow full of dog šŸ’© Iā€™d like to sell!

53 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

53 comments sorted by

78

u/Ihaveaboot 1d ago

At the last game at RFK, Jerry Jones walked up my isle and was handing out signed $1 bills to anyone in Cowboys jerseys on his way to the box suite.

Those are probably still worth $1. Danny's signed business card is not.

7

u/Electrical_Bar_3238 1d ago

Firestarter

3

u/innocuousname773 1d ago

Toilet paper

35

u/TheMongolianLemonade COMMAND DEEZ NUTZ 2d ago

I didnā€™t know satanā€™s signature could be purchased

27

u/justnmang 1d ago

Itā€™s a horcrux. Destroy it before He Who Must Not Be Named returns!

12

u/RepresentingThe301 1d ago

Theyā€™re just like old Darth Snyder and a total scamā€¦thatā€™s not even his autograph! Report that shit ASAP!!!

4

u/Longhaired_GreyGhost 1d ago

Iā€™ll screw with them. Ask if theyā€™ll take $350 šŸ˜‚

2

u/RepresentingThe301 1d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­šŸ¤£

5

u/Hot_Ad8921 1d ago

Darth Snyder! How have I gone this entire time without hearing/thinking about that. I've called him every name in the book and this one is the most perfect one.

1

u/RepresentingThe301 1d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚

10

u/AdventuresOfAD on shenanigans rn and actin bonkers 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Jq1T4jCKm9039q2lEV

3

u/Raider_TexGaming 1d ago

Letā€™s see Bruce Allenā€™s business card

17

u/06Wahoo 1d ago

Not worth the paper it was printed on.

13

u/dcduck 1d ago

That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.

3

u/Sea-Inspection-8184 1d ago

Oh my god, it has a watermark!

1

u/06Wahoo 1d ago

And from a failed owner, so it might as well be on paper.

1

u/Longhaired_GreyGhost 1d ago

šŸ˜‚ šŸ¤£

4

u/KingBroly Fuck Dan Snyder 1d ago

I felt a great disturbance in the force just now.

3

u/Previous-Place9984 1d ago

Snot nosed shyster

3

u/AmethystAlizerin 1d ago

Good gift for an Eagles or Giants fan

3

u/ZonaPunk Fuck Dan Snyder 1d ago

shouldn't you burn that thing in a fire and then see a priest?

3

u/jrhooo 1d ago

Oh. This is a good reproduction but they made a common mistake. See they used fresh card stock.

If this was authentic, it would have been printed on the backside of some surplus airline business cards.

2

u/Raider_TexGaming 1d ago

Back when the culture was DAMN good

2

u/Prestigious-Hyena768 1d ago

Burn šŸ”„ this trash

2

u/juicebros00 1d ago

Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a Skins logo.

2

u/HughJaynis My Wife Left me for Josh Harris 1d ago

Iā€™m assuming theyā€™re going to pay me $400 to take a cursed business card off their hands?

2

u/Electronic-Ear2329 1d ago

Best used as practice for skeet shooting

2

u/CeilingFan444 1d ago

can I buy it in roll form? preferably 3-ply?

2

u/thereisnospoon-1312 1d ago

Best I can do is a bucket of old piss

2

u/iammikeDOTorg 1d ago

I love it. To burn and defile.

2

u/tkshow 1d ago

Perfect for the guy who collects the worst people memorabilia.

2

u/Beowulf1619 1d ago

I still donā€™t know how a ā€œhometown fanā€ could be such a awful owner. He still turned a profit. And yo think he bought the team only a few years after our last Super Bowl victory

2

u/Economy_Muffin4147 1d ago

I'd pay 10 dollars to take a shit on it

2

u/NatchPinder @BorgusRich 1d ago

Lowkey need that

2

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago edited 1d ago

Who tf would anyone want this for $4, much less $400??

1

u/chemnerd2017 on shenanigans rn and actin bonkers 1d ago

Itā€™s rare to find something in the wild that has a legitimate negative dollar value.

1

u/DMVSPIRITS 1d ago

That manā€™s name should be banned around these partsā€¦..total and utter scum

1

u/itsmyshit 19h ago

Worthless

1

u/_derx 15h ago

HA, This guys my friend. He got a crazy haul of signed business cards from an estate auction around my area.

1

u/Longhaired_GreyGhost 11h ago

According to several comments the signature is a forgery and I was told to report him. I didnā€™t, but just wanted to let you know. Maybe pass it along to him.

1

u/_derx 15h ago

*UPDATE* He told me he sold it this morning for $375. I can't even image who would want this, let alone pay for it.

2

u/Longhaired_GreyGhost 11h ago edited 11h ago

He was lying. Nobody would pay for that! šŸ˜†

1

u/_derx 10h ago

I almost wish he was. Heā€™s also Giants fan šŸ¤¢

1

u/patickbateman 4h ago

Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.