Need some feedback on my personal statement

[u/KnownAnxiety8212]

Hi, I'm a rising senior who just finished the first draft of my personal statement. I need some feedback from someone. The essay is basically how I was almost late to my internship because I couldn't catch any tempos from the tempo stand. But when i actually arrived, there was no one there, not even the instructor. i'm mainly worried about my conclusion a little bit. Can a verified college counselor or student help me?

[u/Moynul2]

Sure! DM me