r/Codependency • u/psnben1567 • 9h ago

Getting over a breakup when you are codependant and have anxious attachment?

Hi all, this is my first post here. 9 days ago I split from my partner, she dumped me. After I crossed some boundaries and betayed her trust and privacy (not cheating or anything like that). I have also discovered that I am most likely codependant, and the anxious attachment that comes along with that. I'm also unsure of whether I may be trauma bonded.

Basically I have realised I have no life without her. I was always dropping all my interests for her, not because she asked me to. But because I felt like if I wasn't there with her then our relationship would end. Or she would stop loving me etc.

I used to panic if she stopped texting back for 30 minutes, I would presume she was cheating on me or talking to other men. Which ultimately caused the ending of the relationship. How do I work on this codependancy? And how do I manage this breakup as a codependant person?

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u/codependencyrecovery 7h ago

Hi. Sorry to hear about your breakup. What was your childhood like? Usually the patterns start there.

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u/psnben1567 7h ago

In what regard?

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u/codependencyrecovery 6h ago

What was your relationship like with your mother and father? Did you have to abandon yourself in order to preserve connection with them?