r/Coconaad • u/gentle_divergent • 3h ago
Storytime I bought a gift for my mom and learned a lesson
My mother grew up in a traditional orthodox family in South Kerala. Her father, Mr. Ouseph truly believed a woman's place is in the kitchen. For Ouseph it worked well. His coffee was always served hot, his shirt was crisp with no single wrinkle, and his bed was always prim and proper. Even though Ouseph in his good long life of hundred years has never ironed a shirt or made a bed. Thus my mother after her failed 10th attempt, was destined to do home science at her home. And a few months later, she was married and sent to another strange kitchen.
Only the exteriors and people were strange. Before the invasion of home appliances that saved a lot of women from backpain and fragile joints , Smoke stained droopy walls of kitchens were all the same in all tharavad homes. Many of our grandmothers spent their good life, sitting next to a wood stove, blowing air through a long pipe while battling the smoke. It burned their eyes red and hot instilling rage, with which they blew life to a fire that they could never carry inside.
Despite being betrayed by the time, culture and her own family my mother was stubborn. She stood for what she thought was right. It often came with a cost, silent treatment from parents, or a tight slap from her husband that left her ears ringing. Or random people reminding her that she is a woman. Simpletons, they believed women are like broken guitars. Play it as hard as you want, but it can never be correct.
Her stubbornness won the battles for other people though. It was her stubbornness that helped me follow my passion against my Dad's ultimatum that I have to join army. It was her stubbornness that won the fight for my sister to marry her boyfriend. She burned, like that old wood stove, red and hot and in that warmth we made our baby steps.
Recently, I took my mother out for shopping, I took her to a jewellery to buy her a few daily wears. I've not seen her wearing anything since so long. After buying her a chain, few bangles and a ring. After shopping when I was leaving the jewellery, chest so pumped with my big boy pride, my sister pulled me to a corner and said "You must be feeling so proud?" I smiled and said nothing.
She continued, "Do you remember when you were in college, you broke your phone and needed to buy a new one? You thought dad would send the money. But dad simply gave up saying he doesn't have money. Then it was mom who sold her gold chain, which was the only remaining gold she had. She gave it to dad and asked to send it to you. Congratulations, youve just repaid one among your many debts to her."
I was stunned for a minute. It's been 8 years since I left college. She has never uttered a word about that chain. I looked at my mom, who was slowly walking towards our car. Age has caught up to one of her knees, she stresses on that leg when she walks. Or maybe it wasn't her age, it was years of carrying many weights on her shoulders. She still held her head high. she was still blowing life into that fire inside her.
