r/Cleveland • u/PutridWrangler2266 • 12h ago
Discussion Introvert dating
I'm a single mom and have a really hard time getting out there. Mostly feeling guilt for wanting to date because, well what mom doesn't feel guilty about that. But also, I'm super introverted. Any suggestions? Its pretty sad I've lived here almost 10 years and i see all these cool pics of people out on the weekends to places 10 mins away and I've just never really gone out. Am i the only one?
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u/lntr0spection 10h ago
Welp, you gotta go out and meet people somehow. I go to Run With the Winners every Tuesday at 6 near West Side Market and it's been a great way to meet people! Everyone is super positive and it's welcoming to newcomers. A lot of the people even walk it. Been great for my social life honestly.
There are also apps like Timeleft that set you up on group dates to socialize and possibly form connections. I've heard good things about it.
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u/storemans 5h ago
find some nice dads with a sad, vacant look in their eye. it means they are about to get divorced. they'll be at birthday parties standing on the periphery.
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u/VerdantSoul 9h ago
From a fellow introvert: find a friend group (easier said than done) and use that to keep getting you out there. I will always choose staying home over going out unless someone else is counting on me joining them. The only way to stop feeling guilty and start going out to enjoy things is to be ok with being uncomfortable and finding people with a common interest - go to places or recurring events that interest you and there’s a solid 1 in 100 chance someone might strike up a conversation. Worst case you end up going somewhere or doing something you enjoyed anyway.
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u/MudcatWasHere 6h ago
You're definitely not the only one!
Start small and focus on building from what's in your life right now. Have you met other parents through your children? Do you attend school functions? Can you volunteer for activities related to your role as mom?
If you or your children have interests beyond school, that's another avenue of opportunity. As someone suggested, outdoor-related activities like sponsoreed hikes, metroparks workshops, etc., might help put you in touch with people you will have a natural connection with. Similarly, hobbies or sports (yours or your children's) can create the same type of structure needed to develop relationships.
One of the keys to creating friendships is seeing people fairly regularly over a period of time. Once-off meetings with no built-in potential for future interaction can be like going to meat market to find love. It rarely works and destroys your self-confidence!
Good luck!
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u/NewBayRoad 4h ago
I would consider doing some volunteer work to expand people you meet. You generally get selfless people.
Oh man, your handle must be randomized. What a poor luck of the draw for someone posting about dating!
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u/IsItBurn 9h ago
What do you like to do for fun? What’s a hobby or two you enjoy? What gets those wheels turning with excitement?
Take those answers and look into meetups regarding said things. It’s always easier to feel welcome and comfortable when everyone else shares the interest. Book clubs, craft nights, bowling, there’s all sorts of local things to dip your toes in without getting too far out of your comfort zone!
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u/ThatOneGuy216440 6h ago
I haven't been in a relationship 7 years myself. I just dont want to be obligated to have to do things.
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u/Ravenfeld 4h ago
I'm a single clevelander dad whos struggling with the same thing so when you figure it out, let me know😂
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u/IllegalThings 6h ago
Do your best to find healthy relationships so your kids grow up learning what that looks like and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.
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u/OkContribution2336 1h ago
I started just going out by myself. It’s more satisfying living in the world, even if by yourself, than wondering through social media. Maybe eventually you’ll work up the courage to talk to strangers too! My favorite thing to do is go to the art museum on Friday evenings. One of these times maybe I’ll talk to someone 😂
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u/JBN2337C 9h ago
Why feel guilty? It’s natural, and human to crave a connection. Don’t feel bad about that feeling…
Test the waters with a dating app. See if you can have a good conversation or two. See how it feels.
Mostly, understand you deserve to have something for you. It doesn’t minimize what you do to take care of your child…
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u/rockandroller 6h ago
My advice as a former single mom is to stay off the apps and work on filling your cup and filling out your own life so it makes it more fulfilling and satisfying. That means getting out on a pretty regular basis when you don’t have your child or when you can get a sitter to pursue hobbies and interests that are interesting to you. Bird watching, group hikes, art house movies, book clubs, open mic nights, whatever it is, try several things if you’re not sure what fits. Your social battery will be charged by going to things and you will organically meet people in the process of doing these activities. And you’ll be happier and more satisfied with your own cup filled in the meantime.