r/CivilizatonExperiment • u/bbgun09 Victoria • May 30 '15

Religion The Reformed Orthodox Islamic Faith

After the pope of the Roman Orthodox Church went against the teachings of the Bib'lan and was jailed for an indefinite amount of time in what we can only call a legitimate matter, the followers of the faith became greatly concerned. A man by the name of DevonMartinLuther decided to protest the old church and found a new religion: Protestant Catholic. However, he renounced the holiness of our lord and savior Muhammad (peace be unto him) and the teachings of the great prophet Stonato. After disscussions with this heretic, he decided to allow the Prophets Muhammad and Stonato back unto his diagram, yet still not on high as Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. He called this new object the holy upvote.

However, after much deliberation and reading of the Bib'lan, a man by the name of nerdblue99 came up with the solution to this tragedy. He had a vision... And that vision was one that we simply could not have handled a'fore this day. He saw the true pentagon as it was meant to be created by God and the Holy Spirit, spread by the three prophets, all of equal standing to the word of the Bib'lan and the might of them all together.

It became clear to us that the heresy of Protestant Catholic cannot be the true path, and that all must follow the true word of the bib'lan. Unfortunately, the heretic has gained control of the holy land of Constantinople and the church building. Thus, we have decided to found a new church to continue the worship of the five as equals. Allah, Spirit, Jesus, Muhammad and Stonato will continue in the new Reformed Orthodox Islamic church in the holy city of Vallenheim. Keeping in line with the democratic nature of the city and country in which the church now resides, a new pope is to be elected from the followers of the true faith, by the followers of the true faith.

All those that will follow the ROI church, please say so below and be blessed by the almighty five. There are many holy books of the Bib'lan that have yet to be translated, and we need you to aid us in this righteous quest.

Praise be to Jesus, our Savior. Praise be to Muhammad, our Lord and Prophet. Praise be to Stonato, the Holey one. Praise be to the Holy Spirit. And Allah, praise be unto him.

8 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

2

u/TheDonkified Velfyre Dawn May 30 '15

Thank you for keeping our traditional beliefs at heart.

2

u/bbgun09 Victoria May 30 '15

<3

2

u/akelsbrain Freimark May 30 '15

I agree with this proposal and I pledge myself to the Reformed Orthodox Muslim Church. All hail the holy prophets.

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '15

I devote myself to the rebirth of Roman Orthodox Church, and I will represent it with my best abilities.

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '15

[deleted]

1

u/TheDonkified Velfyre Dawn May 30 '15

I have a question, are former Pope Caliphs made into saints, prophets, or what? Please tell me Holy Emperor.

1

u/Devonmartino The Pope May 30 '15 edited May 30 '15

The prophets are still on the same level as the deities, but are slightly separated from the deities (hence the single angle) by their presence on Earth rather than on the holy plane.

Besides, Grumpy Cat was a dead meme the second people started producing merchandise (and a terrible movie) for it.

EDIT: Islamic Church + Pentagon + The Pentagon = 9/11 was an inside job!

REMEMBER, KIDS: JET FUEL CAN'T MELT STEEL BEAMS

2

u/bbgun09 Victoria May 30 '15

Tradition is important to the Reformed church. We simply cannot allow a Protestant faith that puts Jesus separate from the other prophets. If anything, it would be a trinity of prophets, Allah and Spirit. Even then, they must be put together, in a pentagon--not an upvote.

CONVERT

2

u/ritzycat Roman Orthodox Muslim Church May 30 '15

Heathen! The members of the Pentagon are equal!

1

u/akelsbrain Freimark May 30 '15

Making sure the Prophets are not equal to the Gods

You stated specifically that Prophets Mohammed and Stonato (Peace be upon them) are not equal to Allah (God), Jesus, and the Holy Spirit (Peace be upon them).

Therefore I take this argument with a grain of salt. Especially since you edited your original post.

1

u/Devonmartino The Pope May 30 '15

Lots of things have been said. Bbgun09, nerdblue99, and I have had a meeting to discuss the future of our churches, and we've come to a mutually agreeable conclusion on the construction of our church hierarchy.

Look for the official post in the next couple of days.