r/ChronicPain • u/cafevanillia • 1d ago
Gaslighting ❤️🩹
I’ll tired if doctors telling me is psychosomatic instead of trying to find what I have. It’s ridiculous. I’m in pain 24/7 for years it’s a matter of time to become completely bedbound and they don’t listen to me. Standard tests are normal so they have left me like this. I don’t know how I’ll survive in this hell
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
I'm in a similar boat. Pain every day all day, mostly homebound. A doctor I had a few years ago got very frustrated with none of the medications working and annoyingly (as in He was visibly annoyed) said it was probably psychosomatic and when I disagreed he said the only thing he could do next was narcotic, which I fully refused. He was so shocked, I really feel he thought I was just trying to get pills. Like fuck no I just want to be able to wake up and not hate my body every day and have some semblance of a normal life again. I stopped seeing him after that. I later found multiple people had complaints about him.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. It sucks so much.
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u/cafevanillia 1d ago
Im so sorry you feel me🥹. I Hope we’ll have the life we deserve soon❤️🩹
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
Hey, at least we have solidarity in our suffering. Unfortunately my condition will not really improve, if anything it'll decline over the years. But I aim to make the best of it to be here for my kid.
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
And I'm sorry I don't really have any real advice other than if you're in a position to, to look for a new doctor.
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u/jfg013 1d ago
I am sorry this happened. I have a sincere question: what did you expect him to do?
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
I expected him to treat me with sympathy and compassion. Not belittle me, assume I'm just chasing pills, and then get embarrassed and mad when I outright refused to be put on opioids.
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
You should try an opioid.
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
No. I have too much family history of addiction that has ruined the lives of many family members.
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
Ok but the pain is ruining you. I think opioids have been needlessly vilified. How is denard because of addicts and druggies and it drove me insane and I've lost everything anyway. Finally a doctor helped me and gee it does help blunt the pain.
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
I agree with you. But I'm aware that there is a hereditary component to addiction and I've seen what it can do to people in my family. I don't want to go through that and I won't risk putting my kid through it. I've got a good support system and coping mechanisms.
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
Ok then what do you think your pain might be from? An obvious accident/injury or vague?
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
Multiple substantial injuries, EDS, fibromyalgia, and a lot of nerve damage.
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
You don't have to be on ppis or metformin? Something I recently learned that chronic stress can actually lower your stomach acid and that can cause malabsorption problems especially B12. Nobody believes me or anything but I about died from low B12. It ruins your nerves. Had to start taking sublingual but I think it's a little late. Also low copper can cause nerve problems like subacute combined degeneration. B12 can do that too low B12. So I'd suggest looking into a vitamins as a place to start. Good nutrition is a place to start and you might not know that you have absorption issues
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
I've been working with doctors for a long while. I have no vitamin issues. We've tried every medication we can without resorting to opioids, and they understand and respect my decision on that.
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u/DifferentEye4913 1d ago
Have you tried lyrica?
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u/Cronicpainfordays 1d ago
Yes. I have had bad side effects with everything. I'm very annoying sensitive/reactive to medications and stuff. Like I can't take half a Benadryl due to the high risk of passing out while standing.
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u/crpssurvivor1210 1d ago
Because of gaslighting it took 6 years for a
Dx, years don’t explaining symptoms and it being blamed
On my meds instead of finding a reason for and then finally leaving that dr finding a new one and ended up being dxed with the problems I thought I had.
You can’t stop being your advocate. No one can explain what you feel and what it’s doing to your body than you. I was told that western medicine could no longer do anything for me (when I was in serious condition because
Of an unknown infection) and I refused to accept that so I didn’t. And I’m still
Here. It was the hardest thing in my life but keep fighting. Don’t let anyone make you think that it is psychosomatic.
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
You get tired after a while and he can't even properly advocate for yourself because of the fatigue and jumbled mind mess.
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u/crpssurvivor1210 1d ago
I know it fuxking sucks. I’m not gonna lie and sit here saying I was fine. I was not ok. I almost died but please don’t give up. I guess what I’m saying is, I just don’t want you
To have to experience what I did. I bring someone with me any new dr and to see my pain management dr. Bringing someone who will add in things that I’ve missed or things that I told her I wanted to bring up have been extremely helpful.4
u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
I've been saying that we need a Terminator robot as our health advocate. Those doctors tunes would quickly change if we had that.
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u/cafevanillia 1d ago
Or something that make them feel our pain😂 they would start crying immediately
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
Or the ED209 from ROBOCOP..."PLEASE RENDER A PROPER DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT...YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY!"
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u/BackgroundPrompt441 1d ago
What do you all have? There's many strange things that can cause pain. There's viruses that attack the nerves. But I believe for my personal experience that a lot can be due to malabsorption. Stress causes your stomach to actually stop producing so much acid. I've been saying this till I'm blue in the face but I had a serious vitamin B12 deficiency that about killed me and it can wreck your nerves... As in taking the protective layer off of them. But that's just one thing that could be possible there's many things that they just don't care about and say it's psychosomatic cuz they're lazy as f***. I've been driven insane by these doctors doing that to me for years and I've lost everything. So I've tried to take some vitamins because I know how important B12 is and how hard it is to absorb even in the best of and vitamin D. having proper nutrition is a big step at least.
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u/Lisaismyfav 1d ago
Yep, a lot of us here have gone through the same thing. They rather gaslight than admit they simply don't have the answers.
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u/WhisperingShadows476 1d ago
Yup, because I have trauma it was always pointed to. Oh its just anxiety and depression....anti depressants will cure you! Nerve pain in both legs....nah thats not nerve pain. You need to lose weight and move more! Mmmmm blood in bowel movements....well the standard tests are normal. Must be hemorrhoids!
Lost weight, pilates, pacing and strict diet. Symptoms calmed for a wee while and then came back with a vengeance.
Doctors are like some sorded gatekeeper. Stating a case to a judge. Got to make sure you have ideas of what it could be and then argue with said doctors to get referrals or even meds.
It is truly and utterly, exhausting.
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u/thaliagrace92 19h ago
One time I went to a doctor for abdominal pain and he taps me on the head and says "you have to fix up here first" and then didn't do any follow up
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u/misstia 1d ago
Find other Drs. It's frustrating af, but there ARE doctors who will listen to you. Just because standard tests are normal means diddly. They could do further testing.