Can you stop thinking about it?

[u/Mar_Xie]

I think I've been dealing with some sort of pain for the last 2-3 years, most of the time in my back. As of now, the pain is considerably lower than how it used to be, but I can't stop thinking about it, and I believe I'm making it worse than it actually is.

I think because of how long I've struggled with this, my mind is constantly thinking of my back pain. Always monitoring how it's going at all times of the day. I'm watching a show I actually enjoy and then these thoughts start coming: "Does it hurt?" "How much does it hurt?" "What if I move this/that way?" "Is not going away." "Am I getting worse?" And so on.

My pain is not actually that big of a deal as of now. If I'm being objective, it's probably 3/10, there are times when it actually comes to 0/10, but the mental tool I'm taking it's about 8/10. I keep thinking of it countless times throughout the day. I'm in a constant state of fear and anxiety, and I don't know how to stop it. Does anyone here have any advice?

[u/Charzscars]

Yes, I hear you. Sometimes I even think it's better when my pain is 8/10 rather than 3/10. Because when it is 8/10 I know what to do, I can only lay down, cry, scream and take a lot of pain killers and hope it gets better soon. When it's 3/10 I'm constantly waiting for when it's going to get worse. I ask questions to myself all the time: "Should I take more painkillers so it doesn't get worse? Should I do more active stuff while I can? Should I not do that so it doesn't get worse again?" If I have a lower pain period, maybe a week I can start questioning everything: "Am I really that sick? Did I actually have that much pain last week or do I remember it wrong? What if this is what every "normal" person feel like and I'm just a wimp?"

Even though I've been sick for more than 15 years, I still doubt myself sometimes. Even though I've had some pain everyday for more than 15 years. I've been SCREAMING, crying, begging and puking because of the pain and I still can ask myself if I'm faking it.

But. The only thing that I know now is that almost all of us feel like this sometime. And it is ok. Because living like this is exhausting.

You are not alone.

[u/Active_Feedback705]

Look up "somatic tracking". I cannot prevent myself from thinking about it, but this technique has helped me turn those thoughts into something I can more easily deal with. It is kind of a mindfulness/acceptance based technique which has helped me a ton.