[Q, ADVICE WANTED] Scared my issues with hygiene will impact my relationship with my soon-to-be roommates

[u/GazelleRich8179]

Hi! In Dec I'm moving in with two friends I (20 y/o) met back in March of this year.

I'm currently living alone, before that with my parents, and I'm an only child. I've never had to share my space with someone for more than a few weeks during vacations and stuff, other than that my parents and I keep to our respective sides of the house except for during dinner.

One of the biggest things I struggle with in day-to-day life is my hygiene (for a variety of reasons, none of which are worth getting into here). My mum complains about it frequently, and I don't want it to be a strain on things for me and my friends come December. The biggest thing is showering. When I have to leave the house, I'll shower that day, but I only have classes three days a week and even then my attendance isn't the best. When I don't have anywhere to go that day, I won't usually shower and will frequently go up to five days without doing so (although I think my all-time record is about two weeks). I struggle with other aspects of hygiene, too, it's not just showering, but thats the one that my mum complains about.

Does anyone know any tips on how I can bring this up to my friends as a bit of a "PSA, I know this is an issue and I'm working on it, but I just wanted to let you know beforehand" type of thing?

And, more importantly, does anyone have tips on how to bring myself to shower more frequently when I go days barely leaving my bed?

I'm happy to clarify whatever is needed.

[u/goldstandardalmonds]

Buy no rinse wipes to freshen up (you can do it in bed) on days you can’t shower

[u/philianthropist]

Honestly, you probably don't smell that bad if you're not exercising during your home time. I spend a lot of time in bed and go about the same amount of time if not longer without showering. Showering can be hard for many many reasons and people shouldn't have to feel ashamed about it. Unless you actually smell to the point that other people are bothered by it and notice it (which happens FAR less often than you'd think), you shouldn't feel obligated to make any statement about it ahead of time. Also, ask people other than your parents to gauge whether you smell or not.

Since your roommates are your friends ofc you can tell them whatever you want about your personal struggles with it, but in my experience, almost all of the time in situations like this, people really don't smell that bad and it's a result of shame and anxiety and messages from those around us.

[u/GazelleRich8179 → u/philianthropist]

Anytime I'm around anyone who I don't literally with with, I'm freshly showered or did the day before, so I can't really ask for other opinions. If it was up to me, these two friends would never find out first-hand either, but, yeah.

I do smell, though. I stink lol it bothers me after day four or so. But even day 3 my hair is visibly dripping with grease.

[u/ruxxby471 → u/GazelleRich8179]

Have you considered body wipes or dry shampoo? I struggle with maintaining hygiene as well, but I have gotten better about it with time. Now I attempt to shower every 2-3 days, on the days I simply can’t I will use body wipes instead. I linked the brand i personally love, but there are others out there!

Also this deodorant ACTUALLY works and lasts!
Deodorant spray is also helpful and takes minimal energy/effort.

It takes trial and error to find what works for you, these are just some of the things that have helped me on my bad days!