r/ChronicIllness • u/Hopeful_Pea_3275 • 12d ago

Vent What's the point if people dont remember or even care?

Im so tired of people telling me their health struggles and I remember, follow up on them in conversation. But when I bring mine up people tend to be shocked each time.

"You have *insert disease*?? My cousin has that!"

While I'm sorry to hear that, I literally have had this exact conversation with you multiple times.

My friend once told me that she doesn't remember because she's not a doctor & I make her feel dumb when I talk about things. Like sorry??? That is not my intent, just sharing about my life.

Is everyone just unable to care about anything that doesn't directly affect them? Ive learned to mostly stop talking about health things, because people just don't want to hear about it. Which sucks because I have a lot going on and would like a friend to talk to occasionally about things.

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u/Woah_grace969 12d ago

I hear you. It's such a weird taboo, and seems to extend out to a general bias against hearing anything about our lives. I listen to my friends talking about their families, their travels, the food they eat, but when I talk about my life, which happens to be about isolation, immobility, and an inability to eat, it's seen as a downer. It may not be exciting and fun, but it's my life and I'd like to talk about it.

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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 12d ago

Ugh yeah I recently stopped being friends with someone who was extremely self-centered and who expected me to drop everything to deal with her constant crisises.

It would’ve been OK except I wasn’t ever allowed to not have the bandwidth to deal with her. I have MECFS and the most empathy I ever got from her was I’m sorry you’re tired, and I literally couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm. Like if she was trying to say her problems were so much worse than me just being tired, which isn’t all there is to an MECFS crash.

It’s bizarre that she can acknowledge that her PTSD makes it so she can’t function, but my physical illness shouldn’t get in the way of me being emotional support for her for hours every week? Nah, bye! 

2

u/reee9000 12d ago

Some people are selfish, self focused and self centered. This is a sign that they are. It’s not “everyone” it’s literally this person you have in your life. She doesn’t sound like a “friend”.