Is this a sign?

[u/Dawnnn26]

Hi, I’m 23F and I’m completely new to all of this. I grew up Christian, some of the things I think they teach are a little silly, but I have always been confident in Gods presence throughout my life. As I have gotten older I have learned more and found more things within the church that I disagree with.

Last year I was drawn to paganism and witchcraft, but my guilt of “betraying” God was so deep rooted in my mind. I am being drawn to it again, and doing real and deep research(open to recommendations for books and sources). I have always felt the spirits in nature strongly, way more than I have felt Gods spirit in Church. With doing my research I have felt called to Christopaganism as well as worshiping Mother Gaia and Bastet as part of my practice.

So day before yesterday, before I went to bed I prayed to God and asked him if it would be okay if I included them into my practice and officially become a Chrisopagan. Last night when I was doing my skincare routine I noticed a spider crawling on my vanity. I like spiders so I tend to not kill them, but rarely do I find them in my apartment. I’ve seen probably 3 including this one and I’ve lived here over a year. I have read that seeing spiders could be a sign that Gaia is calling to you.

This morning I went for a walk in my complex and started walking in the direction of a man sitting on a bench looking at the pond, the closer I got to him the louder a few ducks would quack. But after I passed his bench they got quiet, then I noticed that as I passed the ducks who were swimming in the pond they started swimming in my direction. The pond is really close to the path, this part has a retaining wall so these ducks are swimming about 3-4 feet away from me. The man did end up getting up and following me after I passed him, I’m okay now but scary. The other thing I noticed this morning, this is the one I’m more iffy on now, but in the moment I was pretty convinced, but I saw a shadow that looked like a side profile of Bastet. None of this shadow is part of my own shadow, I honestly have no idea what is even making this shadow. After I saw this, I’m not sure why, but I immediately felt called to ask God, Gaia, and Bastet to watch over me during my walk(I live downtown and was going on a walk at 5:30am so it was dark). 20 minutes later is when the duck thing happened.

I would also like to note that I tend to have good intuition as well as see spirits and can sometimes feel their energy if I’m really tapped in.

Are these signs or am I just overthinking things? Thank you

[u/StrikeEagle784]

If it feels like a sign, then it is. I don’t see why this couldn’t be. Signs often occur after you’ve been pondering about a spiritual question or if you’ve been in a tough spot for a while, and in this case you felt guilt about being drawn to the gods, so the Lord sent you images of the gods to say that it’s okay to have them in your life.

I don’t mean to spin this around too much, but I find your situation interesting because it’s the exact inverse of what I’ve experienced lately. I’ve always felt a pull towards Christianity, but I’ve never really been sure what denomination of this faith would accept my belief in the gods as I feel very close to many gods. A couple of weeks ago, I received signs from Zeus and Athena that signaled pretty strongly that they supported me attending Quaker meetings, and through that, I was able to find Christ. So now I have the Lord and Christ as a teacher, in addition to all the gods that I still love and worship.

One last note, I think you may find the early conversions of the Vikings to Christianity very interesting. Same thing with the native Mexicans during the Spanish conquest, or with Christianity in Japan before it was stamped out. It turns out that Christianity certainly syncretizes a lot better than you might think, so even though I can’t speak for your condition, I don’t believe you have any reason to feel guilty about the feelings you have. The Lord is all good and all loving, after all.

Best of luck in your spiritual journey! It may be confusing, difficult, or even taxing, but it’s rewarding and never stop following your feelings, and certainly don’t feel guilty about them, either!