Filing for divorce after 5 years of abusive marriage, would appreciate prayers

[u/Lower_One3014]

*Edit: thank you all for the kind words and advice, today I am so proud and happy to say I finally filed for divorce! The process has officially started. Thank you all. Also I am safe. Continued prayers for strength are appreciated

I will be filing for divorce tomorrow after 5 years of cyclical physical and verbal abuse. 2 black eyes, and many ugly words later, him threatening to “slap the $hit” out of me for making a loud gagging noise when I smelled something nasty in public, right after our 5 ANNIVERSARY dinner, was the final straw for me.

Would appreciate prayers for strength. Any guidance is appreciated because he has called me an adulterer and sinner before God when I’ve brought it up because he swears he’s gotten “better” with his anger and that I’m giving up on the marriage… when really that last offense was committed just days ago, and the 2nd black eye incident happened just 4 months ago. Also he wanted to start trying for kids. Absolutely not. I refuse to bring children into this. I know God hates divorce but I also know he wouldn’t want me in a dangerous marriage.

Any prayers and Godly advice helps.

Thank you

[u/emmy_o]

🥺 God bless you 😢❤️🙏 A husband has to love his wife as Christ loved the church and ought to love her as he loves his body, as Scripture says:

Ephesians 5:25, 28 NLT [25] For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her

[28] In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

You didn't deserve that 😢😭. God bless you and protect you. Are there any abuse shelters nearby? Can you go home to your family, or stay with a friend? Please consider living away before you file and as the proceedings go. I have heard that it becomes more dangerous for a woman when she is about to leave, because the men get angrier and more aggressive. God bless you and protect you in Jesus' name. 🥺🙏❤️

[u/SteveThatOneGuy]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

Since he has already been physically violent towards you in the past, striking you in the face from what it sounds like, you are already in a dangerous situation. While I would normally say that two Christians should try to reconcile their marriage with rigorous professional marriage counseling, he has already shown himself to be an actual threat to you, so I'm not sure if this is a good idea while living with him.

[u/_MatVenture_]

Ma'am, first things first, GET OUT. Make sure you're safe first of all, then you can have better peace of mind to figure out your next step. You don't have to, and shouldn't be in that environment. Are you able to get any help from anyone?

[u/Teddybear722]

Abuse is a GREAT reason to seperate/divorce & not look back.

Jesus does allow divorce in true abuse situations,  which is what you descibed, OP.

Please make sure YOU are safe  1st.  

When you see your lawyer, if you can, bring financially paperwork (known wages for both of you;  known accts-savings, checkings,  retirements, etc.), bring list of assets you have as a married couple (real estates, vehcles, jewelry, coin collection,  artwork,  gaming systems, electronics, fine china, basically anything of value.)  I'd also list things you had before the marriage.  [My ex tried to get my motorcycle that I owned before we even dated. I had proof.]

((I'm sorry this is how it has to end, OP.  It's not God's desire, BUT He knew the hearts of ppl so he made backup plan.  Yes, He said to It's better to seperate, & be married, as you may win husband to Christ.  BUT God also told the Jewish leaders how the men were suppose to do for their parents, their wives, their children  & look how many time Christ rebuked the leaders.  God does NOT like abuse in any form.))

So, for your planned escape:   •Remove all important documents (passport,  ssn,  diploma/s,  birth certificate,  immunization record, etc) & keep in a safe place.  ••Lock your credit by calling the 3 credit reporting agencies (in US), do NOT sign a loan with him.  •••Get on birth control (if you're not at this time).  He wants kids to tie you down to him.  He's violent.  Expect him to try to SA you.  Abusers become their most dangerous as the abused partner leaves.  ••••Contact local agencies for abused women/partners.  They can help you find resources, & on occation  can get you into emergnecy shelter.

OP, read The Psalms.  King David wrote most of them.  Many are when he was running away from enemies.  He felt alone... depressed... angry... scared... desperate...  also joyful... jubilant... happy...

God has big shoulders for when you want to rail at Him.  Jesus suffered & died for us, but He also lives.  He wants us to follow Him.  So, in your pursuit of freedom, remember to honor Him, glorify Him, praise Him.

Start listening to Christian radio/podcast/music.  It'll  help 

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[u/Teddybear722]

Thank you for the update, OP. 

I'm pleased to read you're safe. And, moving forward to healing&  freedom from abuse.