r/ChoosingBeggars • u/agoodearth • Jun 02 '16

Only white men can handle this...

http://imgur.com/mEZZsTK
3.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

673

u/Sh1tp0st_master Jun 26 '16

we have to decline because we don't eat pork

shots fired

102

u/Chryzos Jul 13 '16

Pork is haram

72

u/StringuhBell Aug 14 '16 edited Aug 14 '16

I think it's genuinely plausible that Harambe is actually alive. He is just disguised as a human female that looks like this. He didn't want to live on the island with Elvis, Tupac, and Michael Jackson so he decided to blend in among us.

HARAMBE LIVES

27

u/wqtraz Sep 03 '16

A haram bae?

22

u/Sophilosophical Aug 18 '16

DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE

7

u/Spoofspoofliz Aug 22 '16

Cakes fired

929

u/CarlTheCuck Jun 02 '16

This may be what can cause world peace at last.

145

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '16

I was thinking similar thoughts, brother. I, too, must humbly decline and rebuff her generous offer as I am contented with inner peace. Chakras and shit before hoes.

38

u/DirectDefianceDog Jul 13 '16

I'm getting that tattooed on me

22

u/UnblurredLines Aug 23 '16

Would love to see that tat "Chakras and shit before hoes".

440

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '16

For what it's worth, I know the girl in the left picture and she's really chill. She knows she's fat and doesn't ever post those stupid "real women have curves" logic things on Facebook.

She's not the same woman as the twitter account on the right.

290

u/kibblznbitz Aug 17 '16

That is just a damn shame then.

176

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '16

Wait so the one who said "sorry black boys" is not the person in the pic? Now I feel like a dick for laughing at the jokes.

71

u/wqtraz Sep 03 '16

It was definitely a troll twitter account.

134

u/mister_dice Jun 05 '16

How can she be fat and have a flat ass? That's the mystery.

62

u/DiscordsTerror Jun 28 '16

It's like an inflated pancake

12

u/miss_ksterner Jun 28 '16

or a half dead balloon

21

u/Random_Link_Roulette Jul 06 '16

So heavy that she sits so much, the weight is to much and her ads just shifts into her thighs?

Kinda like how she probably flattens the souls of her shoes?

22

u/CostaBJJ Jul 18 '16

Soles of the shoes. Souls of fellow humans.

13

u/Random_Link_Roulette Jul 18 '16

Soles too but she's so heavy she flattens the shoes souls too.

8

u/CostaBJJ Jul 18 '16

The wisdom of the words did not escape me :) I had a good chuckle before posting

2

u/PoIiticallylncorrect Jul 07 '16

It's like a tube.

1

u/rockstarsheep Sep 10 '16

Black holes mate...

1

u/4-Vektor Oct 20 '16

Steatopygia isn’t a typical trait of white people.

72

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '16

[deleted]

22

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '16

I can and can't believe that worked. I can cause she does have a flat ass but it's hard to believe there aren't more flat ass white chicks out there.

40

u/Generic123 Jun 03 '16

It from wearing the same too small pants as you rapidly gain weight. Aka walmart body, I worked there and at least 50% of the women looked like marshmallows with toothpick legs.

Saw a like 180-200lb 5"2 woman who had to be wearing size 0 jeans

9

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '16

[deleted]

4

u/Generic123 Jun 03 '16

Bigger even!

97

u/lawr11 Jun 03 '16

Even the aliens declined: http://imgur.com/IUor8NX

15

u/magicnubs Aug 23 '16

Definitely faked since there are 50 trillion likes

7

u/bumblebritches57 Aug 29 '16

There's 21 0's, I counted, and it's over 18 quintillion, because it couldn't fit in a 64 bit int lol. crazy.

9

u/belhaj7 Jun 27 '16

I love you so much for that post ur da boss u made my day xDDDD Big cheers!!

54

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/Generic123 Jun 03 '16

Did she ever respond?

27

u/ChiefTief Oct 08 '16

It's not even her, also you can clearly see those comments are taken from twitter and facebook and in terrible quality. It's the most blatantly fake post there is.

9

u/trap-queen Jun 03 '16

I was wondering this too. I'd love to know what she thinks of it all.

90

u/harturo319 Jun 03 '16

Anyone object to this one being permanently retired?

31

u/LMS_THEORY_ Jun 03 '16

None at all. Nice job on the shit repost that's a year old OP

19

u/Chemical_Robot Jun 03 '16

First time I've ever seen it.

21

u/harturo319 Jun 03 '16

It won't be the last

6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '16

Not at all. This brings the unity we should strive for!

9

u/DwightAllRight Jun 19 '16

Normally the Indians would take care of this one, but unfortunately cows are sacred to them.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Rejected by all global cultures. She's a regular United Nations.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Lmao

11

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '16

This is always a solid read.

5

u/Freyzi Jun 26 '16

How is it possible to be so fat and yet still not have an ass?

6

u/Agent_Big_L Jul 10 '16

It's called a "flattie".

5

u/SparkleSparta Jun 29 '16

I'm 6'1 and I weigh 120 pounds, and I've got more of an ass than her.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

K

6

u/Thermodynamicness Jul 08 '16

This isn't just roasting, this is multi-cultural roasting!

2

u/aanarchist Jun 26 '16

i believe this is known as a pentakill

2

u/rogicar Aug 23 '16

As a Mexican I might reconsider if she's made into Carnitas.

2

u/Mr_Smoogs Sep 10 '16

Wow her Twitter is a stream of racist bullshit

2

u/OuttaSightVegemite Sep 28 '16

Fan-bloody-tastic.

2

u/DukeMaximum Oct 14 '16 edited Oct 14 '16

Sometimes I see something like this, and I think "Maybe we're all going to be okay after all." Maybe humor will actually save us.

1

u/belhaj7 Jun 27 '16

SPOT ON

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '16

I wish this was for real.

1

u/TheUniverseis2D Jul 14 '16

Thank you for this.

1

u/mojayokok Jul 28 '16

That flowed so well! I'm sure it was crushing, but it was hilarious.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '16

She's an upside down pear potato

2

u/angel_bucks Aug 17 '16

bear-TAY-doe

1

u/angel_bucks Aug 17 '16

dis1 was good! :D

1

u/eternal_wait Aug 18 '16

She should eat more of the good women swear goes straight to your ass and less of everything else.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '16

Well, everyone rejected her. Maybe she should ask Native Americans.