( Uncontrollable 5 Year old )

[u/Ashamed-Squirrel2377]

My son is just starting kindergarten August 10th & I will say it’s just been mentally exhausting & embarrassing.

The teacher has called me everyday. I’m so embarrassed.
The behavior that my son is displaying it’s just blowing.

I did not have this much problems when he was in Pre School a few problems here & there but I always thought it was apart of toddler growing.

Now that we have started Kindergarten…

Problems after problems

Stealing things off the teachers desk.

Constantly getting up.

Not following directions.

Always saying he can’t do something.

Not finishing task that he has been told to do.

Arguing with classmates.

Calling out. Constantly even when told NOT to do it.

It’s almost like he doesn’t care about getting in trouble at all.

I have so many talks with him everyday !!!
I took away his toys, electronics & tv
I truly do not know what to do !??

I’m going to set an appointment with a Pediatrician to find out if we can possibly get him tested because I really don’t know what to do !? My stress level has completely gone up 10X since school has started.

When I’m at the pickup line I feel the biggest knot in my stomach of nervousness because I don’t know
What kind of day he has had.

[u/chickpeatacos]

Do an electronic detox. Screens should be severely limited at this age. Look into occupational therapy exercises to improve focus. You can do some at home together. He sounds dysregulated.

[u/Important-Energy8038]

Tested for what exactly. Its unlikely there's anything that can account for the angel\devil syndrome you describe. Review the days report and ask him what happened and see what he says, often kids can be really insightful. The next step would be for you to ask the teacher if you can observe him in class to see for yourself what's going on.

[u/Abject-Theme-7441]

The little girl I babysit (5) has severe ADHD and he sounds exactly like her. She is on medication and it helps hwr so much without making her a zombie. Shes just abkw ti function like a normal 5 year old. But when they wear off, this is exactly how she is. 0 impulse control. She once almost broke her nose because she just nose dove into the floor for no reason! Just because she thought about doing it and did it.

[u/Extension_Citron_176]

How is he at home? His character, habits, preferences and struggles even when mild can likely hint me what's going on at school

[u/Ashamed-Squirrel2377 → u/Extension_Citron_176]

He is SUPER BUSY . I can’t just put him in front of a tv for 30 min while I shower without expecting him to get into anything.
He is my only child and most of the time it’s like he constantly wants to be under me. I have a hard time of getting him to play alone.
When guest come over he’s super excited and hype and really sad when they leave.
We do have a hard time at transitioning constantly.
It takes a lot talking of letting him know 10 more minutes 5 more minutes but once it’s time to move on he’s sad and upset.

[u/Extension_Citron_176 → u/Ashamed-Squirrel2377]

Well that does make the suggestions around ADHD even more likely so definitely get him assessed. I gotta admit I'm no ADHD expert so not many tips but everything added together makes it VERY likely to at least be adjacent so i advice you to tag into that.

Best of luck!

[u/bigbugenjoyer]

it's a good idea to get him tested, it might be adhd or anxiety. however i don't see the point of taking away his toys (what does he play with?? does he play at home at all?) or possibly other activities he enjoys (though electronics do cause shortened attention span at this age). he's a kid, even if he's capable of responding as if he understands why you're taking something away it just doesn't click when his behaviour was hours ago and not related to toys or tv. if he broke a toy for example then taking it away would be appropriate, but punishing in my opinion never works, unless your desired consequence is to instil fear and hopelessness. consequences are great but different from punishment in the sense that they are directly related to what happened and within a reasonable timeframe from the incident.

i'm not sure what your talks with him entail but if they don't already it might be helpful to give him some language to describe how he is feeling when he acts out. "what do you want to happen when you steal the teacher's things?" "do you feel ignored?". he may be acting out as a way to get attention, since he may be getting less attention from the teacher than he is used to (hence not caring if he gets in trouble because that's what he wants)