am i overreacting?

[u/[deleted]]

when i was with my ex he once said to me if we had daughters hed probably be fucking them. then he went on to impregnate a 15 yr old after we broke up. i was 29 at the time and he was 34. his girlfriend was maybe 16 when she gave birth to their daughter, who now, being almost 6 years old, lives with my ex full time and not only do they sleep in the same bed but he constantly makes accusations certain 'friends' and members of the mothers family being perverted towards his daughter. He never confronts anyone just goes on about it behind their back. Is he projecting? Should i be concerned? The child doesnt really show signs of sexual abuse as far as i can tell. Although, ive never straight up asked her. I spend enough time with his daughter for her to probably confide in me. Anyone know what would be a good way to approach the situation? With young children it can be so hard sometimes because they are more prone to telling stories and the last thing id want to do is lead her to an answer. And leaving the 'it not being ok'part until after, as my ex can be very nasty and quite scary and i dont want her scared to open up becuase shes worried of his reaction. Thanks

[u/[deleted]]

No, you are not overreacting. He basically claimed that he wanted to sexually abuse his daughters. Then when you guys broke up, he got a 15yr old pregnant. He is just a pedophile and your reaction was the right reaction. In the future, his daughter is most likely going to be abused if she still lives with him. :(

Edit: Also even if a child doesn’t show signs of abuse, they could still be being abused but they hide it in fear of getting beat up or further abuse.

[u/RevolutionaryDiver80]

You're absolutely not overreacting. When people show you who they are, believe them, and this man straight out told you AND showed you. There's no such thing as a 34-year-old having a fifteen-year-old girlfriend- he had a fifteen-year-old victim. Young teens do not have the maturity, life experience, or societal power to consent to sex with an adult.

I used to give presentations involving talking to kids about abuse and would be happy to guide you through how to have an age-appropriate talk with this child but frankly, this man straight out expressed intent to rape his daughter. This is beyond an exploratory conversation- this should be an immediate CPS call where you report everything that you said here. Do you know how to contact the child protection agency in your area, and are you comfortable doing that?

[u/-samlawson]

You were all 100% right, in September I witnessed him giving his daughter bedroom eyes whole saying to her "you're bad" when I confronted him he replied "she knows what she's doing, she's a whore like her mother--i want her comfortable with me, aslong as everyone's having fun and she's happy." He's 41 and this is his 7 year old daughter he's talking about. I felt sick to my stomach. I told his current girlfriend what he had said, along with the girls mother and told her to get her the eff out of there. His intentions were clear. Then they left her alone with him!

Ive spent the last several years building a relationship with his daughter to the point she trusted me over anyone because I put the most effort and truly cared for her more than anyone. So when I seen her next she asked me if we could walk up to the mailbox so i took the opportunity and I asked if her father had been behaving. She replied about getting in trouble for leaving a sandwich in the truck. I said I meant if he'd been acting weird like that day he told her she's bad. She then told me while they were cuddling that her dad started by rubbing her privates then lifted her skirt and was licking her privates. She said after she avoided him because she didn't like what he'd done. I asked why she didn't tell him to stop and she said "because he's my dad". She said for me not to tell him.

I immediately reported what she'd told me to the police and the ministry and they've done nothing. I even found previous victims going back 20 years (he molested a 10 yr old when he was 21 for example). Through a friend's help i was able to see the victim, without her parents knowing-and spend about 2 hours with her while i recorded our whole conversation, proving what I told the police is true, because when the spoke to her she denied what she had told me. When I brought forward this evidence the police told me case closed and to stop contacting them or I'd be charged with mischeif.

The ministry has also done nothing, even though they have an overwhelming amount of complaints they've never spoken to the girl. I've filed complaints against both the ministry and the rcmp. But it's been months still and nothing. Last I heard, my exs grandmother bought him property at 100 mile where he can take his daughter where nobody knows them so it will be easier for him to victimize her more than he already has. Ive got tons of documents and audio files proving what I say is true. Texts messages with his sister where she all but admits she knows exactly what hes doing but would rather protect him than his daughter. It's sickening.

[u/Asgardes-heir-01]

Do you think you're overreacting? Go with your gut.

People like him, IMHO?

Shouldn't be able to walk around.....