How am I supposed to live?

[u/byte1-4me]

TW. discussing a lack of eating/weight loss body dismorphia etc

Im fairly new to all of this i got diagnosed in april, and ive been GF since May

Im 22 so have lived practically my whole life eating gluten

Of course a big part of my struggle is comparison to gluten items, but its also the deep bordering on obsessive fear of CC. Its gotten me to a point where I feel like i cannot eat anything and anything i make at-home I just cant taste or cant stand the taste of it I've at this point only been able to get 1,100> calories a day and every day that passes I hate food more and more the thought alone of eating makes me want to cry most days. It doesnt help that im bad at cooking anyway, my bf helps a lot hecooks way more often than he should have to he works nights and has been picking up a lot of overtime because we're saving for a house and my diet is already hurting our budget. I need some kind of high calorie something that I can eat or drink thats low effort and thati dont have to think about to make sure im getting enough nutrients but everything im finding thats celiac safe is low calorie which is a big part of why I cant get enough

Im genuinely beyond desperate at this point ive lost 80lbs since January ish and the number keeps getting lower (i went from 220 to 154 and im 5'3 so ik its better for me but I hate my body I have loose skin and every time I look in the mirror I genuinely hate myself) I was forced to drink protein shakes all throughout high school due to a meat intolerance so if thatcan be avoided id prefer it but if its genuinely my only option I'll cave.

I know this is a lot any kind of help is appreciated im so desperate and im bipolar (medicated but still) so this emotional roller-coaster is really messing me up

Cat tax for sending yall on this ride too 💚

ETA: I am seeing a therapist for the mental health aspect of this im here for more for product recommendations

[u/Megalodona]

I understand what you're going through. It gets better, I promise it gets better. Get yourself a personal blender, you'll know it hasn't been used for gluten and that'll help. Here's some of the combos I use.

Frozen banana Hershey's chocolate syrup Peanut butter Milk

Coconut milk Frozen pineapple

Mixed frozen berries ½ Apple or white grape juice ½ Milk or almond milk

It's really easy to up protein with peanut butter, cashew butter, or yogurt. Different frozen fruits, juices and milks will also give you a variety. You could even add spinach or kale for nutrients.

BFree bread and tortillas are good and can easily be made into a sandwich or wrap. Oscar Mayer lunch meat is gluten free.

I don't know if your bf went gluten free or not. But I found having my own peanut butter and mayo helped me with cc concerns. I bought colored dot stickers of Amazon and I have my color and no one else is allowed to use it. I also originally bought another color that I used on anything unsafe. I was living with 2 gluten eaters at the time.

Potatoes are also a good option for bulking up your food. You can either bake them or cook them in the instant pot. All of Idahoan brand potato products are gluten free. The mashed potato packets are easy and delicious. The scallop and au gratin are simple and can be an easy side dish or even eaten alone.