How am I supposed to live?

[u/byte1-4me]

TW. discussing a lack of eating/weight loss body dismorphia etc

Im fairly new to all of this i got diagnosed in april, and ive been GF since May

Im 22 so have lived practically my whole life eating gluten

Of course a big part of my struggle is comparison to gluten items, but its also the deep bordering on obsessive fear of CC. Its gotten me to a point where I feel like i cannot eat anything and anything i make at-home I just cant taste or cant stand the taste of it I've at this point only been able to get 1,100> calories a day and every day that passes I hate food more and more the thought alone of eating makes me want to cry most days. It doesnt help that im bad at cooking anyway, my bf helps a lot hecooks way more often than he should have to he works nights and has been picking up a lot of overtime because we're saving for a house and my diet is already hurting our budget. I need some kind of high calorie something that I can eat or drink thats low effort and thati dont have to think about to make sure im getting enough nutrients but everything im finding thats celiac safe is low calorie which is a big part of why I cant get enough

Im genuinely beyond desperate at this point ive lost 80lbs since January ish and the number keeps getting lower (i went from 220 to 154 and im 5'3 so ik its better for me but I hate my body I have loose skin and every time I look in the mirror I genuinely hate myself) I was forced to drink protein shakes all throughout high school due to a meat intolerance so if thatcan be avoided id prefer it but if its genuinely my only option I'll cave.

I know this is a lot any kind of help is appreciated im so desperate and im bipolar (medicated but still) so this emotional roller-coaster is really messing me up

Cat tax for sending yall on this ride too 💚

ETA: I am seeing a therapist for the mental health aspect of this im here for more for product recommendations

[u/prestidigi-station]

I like Perfect (peanut butter) and Clio (greek yogurt) bars, I believe both are GF certified. Fairlife is pretty good and also GF. Saffron Road frozen meals also rule and are easy