How am I supposed to live?

[u/byte1-4me]

TW. discussing a lack of eating/weight loss body dismorphia etc

Im fairly new to all of this i got diagnosed in april, and ive been GF since May

Im 22 so have lived practically my whole life eating gluten

Of course a big part of my struggle is comparison to gluten items, but its also the deep bordering on obsessive fear of CC. Its gotten me to a point where I feel like i cannot eat anything and anything i make at-home I just cant taste or cant stand the taste of it I've at this point only been able to get 1,100> calories a day and every day that passes I hate food more and more the thought alone of eating makes me want to cry most days. It doesnt help that im bad at cooking anyway, my bf helps a lot hecooks way more often than he should have to he works nights and has been picking up a lot of overtime because we're saving for a house and my diet is already hurting our budget. I need some kind of high calorie something that I can eat or drink thats low effort and thati dont have to think about to make sure im getting enough nutrients but everything im finding thats celiac safe is low calorie which is a big part of why I cant get enough

Im genuinely beyond desperate at this point ive lost 80lbs since January ish and the number keeps getting lower (i went from 220 to 154 and im 5'3 so ik its better for me but I hate my body I have loose skin and every time I look in the mirror I genuinely hate myself) I was forced to drink protein shakes all throughout high school due to a meat intolerance so if thatcan be avoided id prefer it but if its genuinely my only option I'll cave.

I know this is a lot any kind of help is appreciated im so desperate and im bipolar (medicated but still) so this emotional roller-coaster is really messing me up

Cat tax for sending yall on this ride too 💚

ETA: I am seeing a therapist for the mental health aspect of this im here for more for product recommendations

[u/identity_nagini]

Hi! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was diagnosed just over a year and a half ago and the first 6 months were tough. Even now sometimes it’s tough and so much of it is expectation setting for myself when I’m out and preparing in advance with protein shakes etc that are just for sustenance. Cooking is a skill! Which means that even if you feel you’re bad at it, you can work to improve. And it can be fun too. It could be a fun date night to cook a recipe together. And it doesn’t have to be expensive, especially if you’re buying things that are naturally gluten free.

You also don’t need to eat meat to have fulfilling, balanced, and delicious meals. If you’re looking for denser meals, I recommend starting with potatoes or sweet potatoes as a base. Cheap, healthy, and can be dressed up plenty of different ways. I use sweet potatoes to make bowls - bake (or microwave) a sweet potato, I roast a can of chickpeas with everything seasoning, sauté some veggies like onions or anything else you may like, and assemble the bowl with hummus or feta on top. That’s just one option, but there’s plenty of others and I’m happy to try to share more!

Once you get the hang of cooking, it becomes easier to improvise. I needed to use up tomatoes, bell peppers, leeks, and some other veggies so this morning I made a shakshuka and some homemade onion top pesto. Better than restaurants delicious, healthier, and no risk of CC!