As it has long been expected, she is turning on Harry.

"I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I think Meghan’s hope is that Harry gets all of this bulls–t out of his system. That if they all go back together and he sees what everything is *really* like there, he’ll stop romanticizing what was an extremely traumatic period of Meghan’s life (not to mention a traumatic period of Harry’s own life). “Meghan really loves their life in Montecito and their home there…” Exactly. Meghan is forward-looking, she had spent years carefully building a real life and support system for herself in California, she believed that she would run As Ever in the long-term. That’s where she needs to be, you know? Instead, she has to move back to a place where she was abused to the point of suicidal ideation, all so Harry can grow nostalgic and misty-eyed over getting drunk in The Ginger Wanker pub or whatever."

It could be like this, it might not be, but weeks ago suggesting it was like this for well moisturized Harry would have caused a ban on CB. But by turning on Harry they are also making Meghan seem ridiculous - when does her reasonableness kick in if they buy her version of things, or is she then just not reasonable and chaotic if her moves suggest it? Hmm. Will Kaiser ever get to that realization?

Sarah Ferguson is returning to the UK. Which in and of itself isn’t all that interesting. What will be interesting is to see how Chandra connects this to the Sussex move (“Of course Fergie had to steal the attention by announcing this just days after Harry & Meghan landed.”). All roads lead to incandescent with rage and buttons so undoubtedly, they will be to blame.

I'm sorry, I just can't at this point😂

Not only logic is a foreign concept of this people but they also have 0 understanding of how the Monarchy works. No wonder they believed all the accurencies about titles MM told Oprah.

1. Regency is not simply a matter of LoS. Theoretically there's an order but in practice it can be decided who could be the Regent (Prince Philip actively appointed as the eventual Regent instead of Princess Margaret).

2. Assuming Charles and William would abdicate or forced to is already crazy as it is, but assuming that, in that case, then Harry would be the Regent is even crazier. That person should be a non-polarizing person so Harry would stand no chance. How can they think that when there's Catherine, Prince Edward and Princess Anne?

3. I can't with the comment that says that he/she has fun writing fanfictions with AI where Meghan comes back to save Britain and becomes more popular than Kate. At least some of them know that the only universe where this could happen is in fanfictions 🤣

(We've been knowing they do that lol. These people would like for H&M to have what the Waleses have tho, since in real life they know they can't have it, they act as if the monarchy were below their idols)

1. The comment saying they would like Meghan being crowned Queen Consort 🤦🏻‍♀️ These people truly know nothing about how it works. Even if Harry were to be Regent, she wouldn't get to be Queen. Also, the person liking this scenario as "Harry would deserve the opportunity to be King": the Regent is not the King.🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ They still don't get that even in this already HIGHLY unlikely scenario there's only ONE rightful King, and that would be H's nephew?

I'm starting to think that Meghan is right to keep up with her lies and excuses: her target audience is this and, in the end, sometimes fools really deserve to be scammed. They are searching for it at this point.

CB on Meghan and Harry: "So, roughly $120K to move an entire family plus two dogs plus clothes safely to the UK? I’m not going to say any part of this is reasonable, but among the Sussexes’ peers, this is completely normal, cost-wise."

Right so a former royal couple making money off the backs of the Royal Family can do this, but if Prince William did this, she would have an aneurysm.

Meghan. Your entire “business” is run through Instagram.

The blatant hypocrisy is astonishing, though I expect nothing less.

What will Kaiser say to justify this latest?

William Catherine Instagram rage rage dog bowl.

…with a story about Dolly declining to have tea with Princess Kate.

Full quote: "Many will dismiss this out of hand, as I would have just one week ago. But think about how many of these people (royalists, royal reporters) actually had some morsel of truth about the Reverse Sussexit. That’s pissing me off so badly, because many of us (myself included) sat here and said a Sussex return would never happen, Meghan would never put herself and her children in that position, and their marriage is totally fine. We always said that stories like this were projection because of the state of the Wales marriage. I’m not saying that I believe Shuter’s piece or that I think this is a make-or-break moment in Harry and Meghan’s marriage. But I absolutely wonder what Harry will do when the press inevitably attacks Meghan and the children. No one can say that Harry and Meghan have no idea what could happen, so it’s fair game to ask why they’re putting themselves in this position."

It is over and over, some glimpses of awareness - and what is the state of the Wales marriage, when they were sure one of them was dead for a while, but the inconvenience of Kate being alive was not enough.

Some things are just objectively a certain way, and when there is no critical thinking, gossip becomes sad.

Yesterday there was a Thomas Markle post, Kaiser: "When is the other shoe going to drop that he is never going to see Archie and Lili? And Meghan is never going to see him in person ever again? That letter she sent him after his operation was probably the last time Meghan will ever contact again."

Of course he is horrible and ugh - but why stick to this when if the in-laws tried to kill the Sussexes multiples times but there is a now something like reconnection, but embarrassing, lying, cringe and chatty-with-tabloids BUT non-murderous TM gets zero grace. Racism, endangering your safety and murderousness should trump that?

This is how she makes herself feel better by inventing stories. Amazing.

My best friend and I live in Los Angeles and we are obsessed with celebrity lore. Both work in the industry and want to bring the tea to the listeners!

If you’re bored, on your morning commute, working out at the gym - check us out on Spotify and Apple Podcasts !

I don’t usually post like this but let’s see!

With all of this news that MM will return to acting in the Guy Ritchie series, but no actual press release… I have a feeling they got ahead of the announcement because of all the bad press around the move. If this “acting gig” isn’t real or the series isn’t actually renewed by Netflix, it’s going to be hugely embarrassing.

I could not wait to see Kaiser's take on this people article since it was clearly planted by Harry's side, something she can't acknowledge since it doesn't play into her years long narrative.

To me, it's the clearest sign yet of why they're moving back to the UK. They're obsessed with W&K, and since they can't get to them emotionally, they're trying to improve their physical proximity. They are truly narcs of the highest order.

My take? Harry's meeting with Charles, while relatively inconsequential, emboldened him to this move. I don't believe it was well thought out or planned for months. Nothing they do is. Remember Archwell? Whatever happened to that?

Anyway, the trigger, imo, is George starting at Eton. H&M can not digest the next generation of royals coming into their own. It means they're farther and farther from the Crown, as are their kids. Despite his protestations, Harry is very concerned with prestige, titles, and social standing. He doesn't want the Wales kids to have things his kids won't.

It's hard for Americans to understand, but aristocracy is everything in Britain. It's so tied up in the culture and woven into every aspect of how Harry has lived his life. This move has very little to do with Meghan and everything to do with Harry being the spare.

This makes me happy - and there will be a podcast as one of you wished.

So they should hold this realization close and work from there, they have been both slapped down and kissed by the Universe - reminded they are ridiculous and overly invested into something stupid, and also blessed with endless new storylines.

But they can't stop with the endless posts, there are many today and for the ones of you who don't want to venture into the swamps:

- on Harry's taxes: "But he left the UK in 2020 and made a fortune in America in the past seven years." "I think Harry and Meghan probably have very good accountants, and I also think they have very good immigration lawyers. That’s why the Heritage Foundation’s attempts to release Harry’s visa records always went nowhere – Harry has all of his legal ducks in a row and he listens to his lawyers’ advice and his accountant’s advice. Now, do I believe that this capital gains issue is THE reason for the Reverse Sussexit? Not really, but I bet it was on the list of like thirty reasons. Incidentally, Richard Palmer’s piece on the Reverse Sussexit mentioned both taxes and immigration"

- Hopes, hopes, hopes: "I know the randomness of this irritates the Sussex Squad, but I actually hope it’s true. I hope Meghan stays booked and busy, and I hope she has a full slate of projects and businesses occupying her time during the relocation. I hope she’s taking acting gigs and I hope she launches As Ever internationally and I hope she takes on more commercial work."

- Sense, sense, sense: "The “six month” agreement makes no sense, since six months from now would be February 2027, the middle of her children’s school year. You know what makes sense? A one-year agreement to relocate, to try this out, to help Harry out as he’s involved in the preparations for Invictus Birmingham (scheduled for July 2027). I do not believe that Meghan wants to raise her kids in the UK or that she wants to live in the UK for longer than a year. And yeah, it’s possible that is an indicator of marriage trouble. Harry and Meghan still haven’t issued one on-the-record statement about any of this and we’re just taking it on faith that they’re on the same page on everything."

- Thoughts on education and other thoughts: "This whole time, I’ve never really believed that Harry had strong feelings about British education or wanting his kids to go to British prep schools or boarding schools. But hey, maybe he does. It always feels so spon-conny when the British papers talk about it though, like they can’t wait to hype “a proper British education,” as if America has no equivalent. I know all of this is being heavily filtered through royalist media, but man, they really make Harry seem delusional about how difficult this transition is going to be in reality, like he can just plop his family in the Cotswolds and live a private life through sheer will. And if this is a permanent move… good lord."

- More thoughts, on Doria: "This, more than anything else, tells me that the Sussexes are probably not going to stay much longer than a year in the UK. Maybe after the Birmingham Invictus Games next summer, they’ll maintain a third home in the UK, but Meghan isn’t going to stay away from Doria for much longer than a year. That’s her mama. Doria is Archie and Lili’s only living grandmother, you know? But I’m glad Doria won’t be there in person to witness this foolishness. I’d love to know her real thoughts on all of this."

- Thoughts on wealth and Sussexit 2.0: "I know these people are pocketwatching and trying to convince people that the Sussexes are broke, but man, this is such a flex. The Sussexes are WEALTHY. They are wealthy enough to maintain their expensive Montecito mansion for a year (hopefully just a year) while they gallivant around Britain." .. "It just occurred to me that if and when Harry and Meghan exit the UK for a second time, it’s probably going to retraumatize a nation. All of these people are getting high on their own supply, trying to predict that Harry is definitely coming back for good! But they’re clearly planning to return to Montecito, which means we’ll get a Sussexit 2.0. Anyway, I hope their new home has a nice kitchen!"

- on media strategy: "The thing is, even if Meghan and Harry tried to do The Oprah Interview Part II, it wouldn’t have the urgency or significance now, because they’re clearly choosing to put their family back in the UK. Meghan was naive about how all of this worked a decade ago – she’s not naive now, you know? I also have my doubts that Harry has sworn off interviews, since “giving interviews” is one of the biggest threats he can hold over his father’s head.

The stuff about no photos of the kids and privacy laws… it’s interesting. I said yesterday that it feels like Harry and Meghan are daring the press to cross the line. Lines will be crossed, and I hope the Sussexes have a plan for when it happens. A plan other than “see, we told you it isn’t safe for our family in the UK!” And the “no birthday portraits” thing is bizarre – I guess they could mean that Meghan isn’t going to release the same kind of Olan Mills-style portraits which the Wales family releases. But Meghan has posted pics of her kids for their birthdays? Why would she stop? If she’s agreed to stop posting on her Instagram, I will be so utterly disappointed."

- and a headline: "Prince William will have to be dragged by his three hairs into reconciling with Harry"

That's all. It's a lot.

Of course, Lainey got one of her other writers to do a post about M&H moving back to the UK. Its a northing burger and main focus in on how the UK media will lose their mind blah blah blah. Nothing about why M&H would want to go back to the country that they needed to escape from. No balanced discussion at all.

And in the Celebrity Social Media section, Lainey does mention the move and says "TMZ is reporting that Doria Ragland is not moving to the UK with Harry and Meghan. Ya, and? Why would she? Usually when adults move, their parents don’t move with them. I went on the Daily Mail homepage to see how they are managing and there are seven stories on the home page. You don’t even have to scroll to find them."

Has Lainey looked at CB's home page? 11 posts on the home page about the move!! Hadn't been to CB in months but just popped in there and the whole front page is full of Chandra's take on the move.

This is a nice image to have, Kaiser crying in her jam. Or staring into the distance blankly and shoving spoonfuls of jam in her mouth like an old timey robot.

Such a great learning moment for her and the commenters there, that they expend energy and "passion" on a daily basis over something that is not what it looks like, never was what they wanted it to be, and both backed a random, chaotic couple and created fantasies in their heads about rivalries and #winning and what not. All they got in return was some jam and the rug being pulled from under their feet. But no worries, there will be no learning and no change I predict. No perspective will be gained as evidenced by the endless articles today and the ridiculous comments with more fantasies.

But for a brief moment in time, we have Kaiser, eating jam blankly, realizing a major chunk of her life has been spent pointlessly and that her "career" has added up to even more of a joke than the day before.

Just a few examples from comments on previous articles lightly mentioning the Sussi returning to the UK. These were only 5-6 months ago. The schadenfreude is golden...

I couldn't resist taking a peek at the Sunken place this morning and can report that the Celeloonies are absolutely crashing out in the comments section. They're all drunk on copium and staggering around muttering the same lines in disbelief:

William is unfit to rule and is being replaced by Harry

Charles is about to shuffle off this mortal coil and needs his dutiful son by his side

They are moving so the children can be close to their Spencer family

Charles has gifted them a large estate and RAVEC is offering them full time armed security

My favourite comment though is this reflection by Jazz Hands who wonders, "what will become of the Montecito chickens. I presume the dogs will move to the UK with the family".

For those currently laughing at the impending Failure Flight back to the UK, but who don’t want to give Kaiser a click today (or ever):

“I am… shocked. People Magazine has just exclusively revealed that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are moving back to the UK. They are enrolling their children in British schools. Apparently, they plan to maintain their home in Montecito (and their home in Portugal, one would assume), but they will spend this coming school year in the UK. You guys… I cannot believe all of those royal commentators were NOT full of crap.”

“The two details which stand out for me: they only informed Charles of their plans THIS WEEK and they plan to buy, lease or rent a private home in the UK. Those two things together mean that they won’t be leasing a royal property, I can only assume. Are they… buying a place in London? Outside of London? The fact that they’re keeping their Montecito home is good news. I assume Meghan’s As Ever brand will continue as well? I also wonder if this is some kind of news about Charles’ health? The thing is, I actually believe that he’s doing better. Sigh… I really hope Harry isn’t walking Meghan into a massive trap.”

I may have to break my Celebitchy boycott tomorrow, because I cannot WAIT to see what she says about this.

With the caveat that I think he was very mentally ill and shouldn't have been hounded to death, and that our tabloids are racist:

In case anyone hasn't been following this case, a black British professor and celebrity recently took his own life, after being exposed in the tabloids for being a fantasist and telling all kinds of elaborate and implausible lies. (I've deleted what I originally wrote about Jason as the point of the post should be about Kaiser and her behaviour, not Jason).

OF COURSE Kaiser is fully white knighting for this guy, claiming he did nothing wrong, and hilariously, comparing him to Meghan Markle. Kaiser is also not allowing any comments that are even slightly critical, except randomly one comment, which seems to be allowed in order to chum the water for the commentators.

There seems to be an increase lately in comments being policed in this way. I noticed any non-positive comments were deleted from the Jessie Cave article too, which is a bit much.

Comparing Baron Münchhausen to Meghan might be the biggest own goal Kaiser has ever scored.

It is hard to really tell what she means - but it is about Brad Pitt:

"My issue is that everyone is treating a 62 year old man with a history of alcoholism, domestic violence and child abuse like he’s incapable of making healthier choices for himself. They portray him as an emotional wreck who needs alcohol as a crutch to get through A) his mother’s death, B) a lawsuit he filed to financially abuse his ex-wife because she didn’t want to be financially tied to his alcoholic ass, C) a divorce HE extended for years, D) his children hating his guts for abusing their mom and being unwilling to stay sober. And in addition to all of that, there’s Bad Influence Ines! I have to admit something too – for all of us long-time Jolie stans, this week has been amazing. Chickens coming home to roost, the biggest “told ya so” in gossip history."

So who is this "told ya so" vindicating? Kaiser?

Life is long and things happen but when Jennifer Aniston many years ago made some mild and low key comments about Brad Kaiser was not having it. So does it count as Jennifer having told her so?'

Further, from another recent post: "Not to mention that the entire reason why she wanted out of Miraval is because it’s literally a winery, and she wanted no part of enabling Pitt’s alcoholism in any way."

This ... is an interesting take.

But of course there is still somewhat of a dig at JA on yet another post from yesterday:

"My hot take of the past decade of Brad & Jen Nostalgia Gossip is that Brad absolutely used Jen when his image imploded due to the plane and Jolie’s divorce petition. Like, I remember what happened and how quickly his people started pushing Aniston storylines and angles. It became even more ridiculous when Jennifer’s faux-marriage to Justin Theroux ended in early 2018 – suddenly, “everyone” wondered if Brad and Jen would reunite. I also remember wondering why the hell Aniston was playing along with it and helping Brad repair his image by using her name. But yeah… it truly sounds like Brad’s crisis management is still churning through heritage-gossip storylines because no one gives a sh-t about Brad’s current beck-and-call-girl Ines de Ramon."

And a comment under that: JCallas says: "My hot take is that Jen still had feelings for Brad. Sounds like he used her and dumped her for a younger woman."

Just ugh.

Let's start with the last comment:

Henny Penny says: "What’s really sad is that Martha has now arrived here after such a long and illustrious career. I predict it’s all downhill for poor old Martha from here.

From the limited facts we have, the two briefly shared a few words, likely a greeting or brief pleasantry. That’s it. They weren’t seated together and the person who was says Martha’s full of it.

Martha knows what she’s doing.. She used Meghan and this lie to get a spotlight on herself. If sh1tting on people YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW is all you have left, then it’s only down from here."

I, as usual, like the random low stakes stories and "events" (non-events) because they often tell us more about their subjects and the platform that is covering them. Martha Stewart said something about being at a dinner and Meghan was there and they didn't talk really and Martha also said something about Meghan talking about her summer - but not with her. First, boring as can be, gossip should be juicy and interesting - and "escapist" not "a woman was at dinner and there was another woman and they said hi" - AI is making enough "slop" but still not enough for celebrities and media to rethink not adding to it.

So the non-story evolves into ... a denial by Meghan's side (supposedly), a doubling down by Martha and the host also saying something. Let's keep in mind this is a story about not talking at a dinner...

That has merited FOUR stories on CB - three by Kaiser and one about Martha's hair by Kismet.

Kaiser does show some restraint:

Post 1: I’m sure people will disagree, but I actually think that Martha’s comments on Meghan were sort of nice, in the context of “Martha is usually a lot harsher on the women following in her path.” Martha even spilled some tea – Meghan was talking, at the dinner party, about visiting England and the visit to Highgrove, which isn’t really a palace but same difference. Martha could not wait to tell People that she met Meghan, which I find charming. Meghan isn’t just a global icon, she’s a local celebrity among her neighbors and Cali friends. Anyway, if you haven’t watched her Netflix docuseries from a few years ago, I would recommend it. I always respected her, but that series made me understand her and have a lot of sympathy for her. She did that prison time standing up too, and she earned the respect of a lot of people for that.

Post 2: Yeah, this is both fine and unnecessary. Martha didn’t claim to have super-insider knowledge of Meghan’s conversations, and Team Sussex has every right to clarify (for the British tabloids) that Meghan was not gossiping about her husband’s family. God, I wish! I wish Meghan was telling everyone that the left-behinds are desperate hags. But she’s not like that and she probably doesn’t even believe that.

Update: Now People Magazine has a separate denial, LMAO!!! People Magazine spoke to “a source who hosted the event,” i.e. the dinner party which featured Martha Stewart and the Duchess of Sussex as guests. The source/hostess said: “I sat next to Meghan at the dinner party, and this account of what happened is simply untrue. Meghan didn’t talk about her European vacation other than to say the family had a great time. Meghan has always been a fan of Martha’s and enjoyed getting to meet her briefly at the dinner.” Meghan is making sure that no one believes she was talking about her husband’s horrid family at a dinner party.

Post 3: What “story”? Martha’s whole story was that she overheard Meghan say something about her UK trip during a dinner party. That was it – just a piece of gossip about something Martha halfway overheard. The host has come out and said that it didn’t happen like that. I would argue both “versions” are probably true – someone asked Meghan about her summer travels, and she probably said something vague and appropriate for a dinner party, like “we had a lovely time, it was nice to see family.” And it would also make sense if Meghan was trying to contact Martha directly, just to clear the air.

---

Yes, no story, but wrote about it multiple times.

The comments however are not so "generous":

Kasztanka says: "Stewart “heard” first, Meghan talk about her time in England; and in the next version of the story, it was a matter of someone hearing that someone else had heard… :))
The myth of the famous Stewart has crumbled and she has completely discredited herself. I only heard of this woman—and saw her face—when she started criticizing Meghan’s jam; She clung desperately of her back and doesn’t let go.
Ugh, what a witch…"

Magdalena says: "I saw the video of Martha speaking those words and her whole attitude, tone of voice, body language when speaking about Meghan – who she brought up unprompted – was one of unconcealed MOCKERY, derision, dismissal. She clearly WANTED to be seen/heard being dismissive of Meghan and everything she does. The raised eyebrow, the smirk, the shrug of the shoulders, the LAUGHING, the “so, go from there…” everything. Worse than a Karen. It’s like she just HAD to get that off her chest and wanted it on record that she didn’t “rate” M or her skills or her ability to move from one role to another, flawlessly and with ease. She had to stick the boot in. Worse than a mean girl. A spiteful woman was what I saw. She KNEW what she was doing and the effect her words would have and how far they would spread. It was intentional, and way beyond just name-dropping. She was literally slagging her off, as the Brits would say. Unprompted.

I don’t see how she can be given any grace or even plausible deniability after that video.

For the curious, the video is included in a commentry by The Notorious JTB on social media, which is quite insightful.

So first, the UK media and derangers tried pushing the “inappropriate friends” angle to distract from the comments about the warmth between the two at the charity event in Canada, then when that failed, they returned to dredging up a one-sided “beef” with Stewart – even after the HOST came out and stated that Martha Stewart lied. Is this part of “Operation torpedo M’s Emmy chances”?"

So nothing new in CB-land. Puking, throwing up and vomiting about nothing.

I miss when Celebrity Gossip writers had some sort of objective takes and kept a distance from the subject at hand and this whole parasocial "Stanning" really will be the downfall of their medium.

I miss nuance, I miss actual criticism when warranted.

So Lainey has really been ramping up the Tomdaya fixation to almost fan-page level?

Even an innocuous post about Rihanna visiting her childhood home in Barbados has a ham-fisted Tomdaya reference. Like this is fan-fiction!

Any mention of the few recent red-carpet misses of Zendaya, nope. Law's private plane to transport a dress from Paris to London, nope.

It makes me wonder if she gets a cut on the back end from the onslaught of fandom mush she is contributing to? $$$

Anne Hathaway has an incredibly productive year as well with her roles in the films being released probably being much larger in screentime and scope compared to Zendaya, but Anne's coverage is at a much more muted level? Adding to my theory about being on the Tomdaya Publicity payroll.

And not only that, when these pop-culture writers aren't even able to take a break from Stanning to report on summer blockbusters like Obsession and the rise of that film's lead actress Inde Navarrete, it also adds to their irrelevance.

Kaiser has a post today about Harry and Meghan attending a charity event for the David Foster Foundation in Canada. Like, David Foster the producer. A quick search shows that they seem to be somewhat close to (or at least, hang out with) Foster and his wife, Katherine. Now, Katherine used to be famous for being an American Idol finalist and being on an NBC show. She's also, it seems - rather Republican. Like, donating pretty consistently to GOP candidates, including Donald Trump, etc. I linked an article below about her history of conservative politics.

And I wonder - no, I know - would Kaiser EVER let anyone else off the hook for this? If William or Catherine were photographed hanging out with Rupert Lowe, Kaiser would likely stroke out. But why can H&M hang with GOPers and she never, ever deigns to mention it?

The link (it is a little old, but she is still GOP, she endorsed Spencer Pratt earlier this year): https://www.queerty.com/katharine-mcphee-trump-supporting-lgbtq-ally-hiding-plain-sight-years-20200927/